NewBeginnings2

My husband relapsed on meth and opiates one month out of jail. while I was in the hospital with blood infection. He broke his promises about getting help, and makes the excuse that NA and AA are just places to get drug contacts and all the talk of drugs is a trigger. I need support. I'm so tired. The bond company wants 1500$ to pick him up and take him back to jail. How could he do this. I still can't understand the horrible selfishness. It came so sudden when I needed him the most. His own attorney advised a divorce today when I spoke with him.
I need support. All this emotional pain and anguish makes me want to use drugs. How awful. I wouldn't, but I am truly devastated. ;-(

Kindeyes

I am so very sorry that you are dealing with this. Many of us understand the anguish you are feeling. Some of us are currently in the middle of it. And some of us......are survivors.

You are not alone. We will walk with you if you'll allow us to do so.

Please......take care of you.

gentle hugs
ke

kthopkt

So sorry you going through this. I have learned that just because an addict gets sober in jail, they are not necessarly recovering while in. Sobriety & recovery are two very different things. Sounds like your husband isn't ready to recover and unfortunately there isn't anything you can do about that.

I do hope you find the support & strength you need to get through this. Please keep posting.

interrupted

You're not alone, we're walking with you. I'm sorry it hurts so much.

Maylie

I'm sorry your going through this It always amazes me how when we need them the most they go off and worry about feeding their addictions. I have a friend who was in the hospital giving birth and her boyfriend had to "run to the bathroom" and did drugs. -shakes head- I wish we could learn to not be surprised, maybe it wouldn't hurt as much then.

It sounds like you need to really concentrate on yourself. Maybe take a break from the marriage and take a nice big step back and just work on getting yourself in a place that where you are emotionally healthy and able to come to terms with the fact that the man you love isn't there anymore. Addiction slowly kills the addict and the addict's loved ones. There is nothing any of us can do except step back from the addict and protect ourselves from the constant chaos.

I am slowly learning that it is really important to listen to people looking in. It gets hard to see things for what they are when you are in the middle of it. If your husband's lawyer is telling you to consider a divorce (which isn't a common thing) I would consider after taking a step back and getting to a good emotional place that you reevaluate the marriage. Look at what you want from the future and if it is possible to do with an addict.

You'll be in my thoughts, I pray you'll be able to find some comfort and strength to get through the next couple days.

Hugs