Flakiss

I went to my first alanon meeting today.
The people are great!
I've been to NA meetings with my abf
Before and they are almost alike..

I hope someone can relate to this, but I had to lie
To my family that I was at a "bible study" meeting
I know they wouldn't encourage me to keep going
They would think I'm weird.
At the same time I feel like my story with my addict
Is not as bad as others I've only been with him for 2 yrs and an alcoholic for 2yrs
And others have been at it for like 10,20 yrs.
So I didn't felt like sharing because I'm afraid they'll laugh at me.
But at the same time I know I need help.

I know I shouldn't lie but what can I say without been judged.

LexieCat

Hey, I know people who need Al-Anon after six months of living with an alcoholic. Or even just dating one briefly. Nobody is going to judge you or laugh at you, believe me. You don't have to lie to anyone in Al-Anon (in fact, it isn't good for your recovery to do that). Honesty--with yourself and with other people--are critical.

Keep comin' back. Your life will get better, regardless of what your addict does.

Ann

Nobody will laugh at you at meetings, it's the one place where people truly understand.

I didn't always share with people that I went to CoDA meetings, sometimes it would only make them ask "why?" or "how long to you have to go?" or "are you sick". Sometimes I referred to it as going to a family group support meeting and if they inquired further, told them it was private.

The important thing is that we go and feel good about ourselves for reaching out to heal and find our balance again.

We have a problem and are doing something about it. I cannot say the same about people who are judgmental or curious about that which is not their business. I am proud that I stopped living in the problem (my son's addiction) and started living in the solution (my recovery).

I hope you find the same comfort and support at your meetings that I found at mine. My meetings literally saved my life.

Hugs

Kindeyes

I've never been in a meeting where someone was laughed at.....really. There is laughter in our meetings, however, and I am often the instigator. But the laughter is people laughing WITH me......because I have some pretty funny stuff to talk about. And I love it when people can laugh at some of my sharing that is delivered with intentional humor.

We are always very sensitive to the newcomer....we understand how much courage it takes to walk through that door. We were there once too.....frightened, confused, and hurting deeply.

It takes time to develop friends in those meetings but it is well worth the effort.

gentle hugs
ke

lizwig

Hi Flakiss...I agree with all above....you will not be laughed at sharing anything at an al-anon meetings. There is nothing to be embarrassed at in attending these meetings. Your dedication to your wellbeing is something to be extremely proud of. I'm not sure of your age....but in regards to family...if you are an adult you should be able to simply say "I have plans that evening" and leave it at that. If you feel you owe them an explanation it could be something like "I've recognized I need some support and could really benefit from some tools to help me as I move forward, whether I'm in a relationship with "fill in the blank" or not". I incorporate things I've learned at al-anon into all aspects of my life...with co-workers, friends, boards I sit on and of course with my addict. These are "life tools" at their best. I say "good for you"...keep up the good work.

Flakiss

Thank you all.. Eventually I might feel more comfortable.
Right now im really confused i feel like I need AA and Nar-anon..
I spent only a year drinking bc I was trying to forget
I was diagnosed with a tumor. Now it's all gone and I stopped drinking and everything was ok until my addict came into my life and turn it upside down
Now when I'm depressed thinking of his and all the drugs he's doing
I just want to drink again and forget.

They might not want me at alanon bc I'm craving drinking
There aren't no nar-anon in my area.


And to lizwig I'm turning 22 soon.

Kindeyes

There are LOTS of double winners in Al-Anon and Nar-Anon (they are called double winners when they go both to an Anon group and AA and/or NA--it is meant as a compliment;-).

The only thing that qualifies a person for attendance in Al-Anon or Nar-Anon is having a family member or friend who has an issue with alcohol or drugs. IMHO almost everyone in NA and AA "qualifies" to be in an Anon group because they usually have MANY friends and/or family members who have issues with alcohol or drugs.

Give it time. Keep going back. It works if you work it and MAN......I wish I had been as smart at 22 as you are!

gentle hugs
ke

Lily1918

Im a double winner. I go to NA and al anon. I tell my family I have stuff to do. Although I have used the bible study line before plenty of times with grandma. I've only been with my BF less than a year and they don't laugh at me so don't worry about that. The only time I experience laughter is when I start it, just like KE says. Most recently it was at an NA meeting when I joked about chasing the lizard. haha cuz Im a recovering pothead and almost everyone else was there for opiates which have a much heavier withdrawl. I also lean towards that glass of wine or whatever when I get lonely or depressed, and this site, along with meetings really does help. Im glad you're here! I hope you stick around.

Anyhow Im rambling, but Im glad your here.