Estate Planning delimma
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Seek - it is a very difficult decision & one that often needs to be re-visited over time.
Recently a client who had all of this ironed out called me absolutely freaking out.... her sisters had previously agreed to co-Trustee the Trust that will be created (upon her death) for benefit of her grandchildren. Her daughter is a terrible addict with multiple addictions & many ex-addict boyfriends that never quite go all the way away. The client has been raising her 2 teenaged grandsons & has the assets to provide for them well into their college years & beyond. The legal documents have been drawn up & signed for quite some time now.
Then a few weeks ago her daughter showed up trashed to a family event & proceeded to create chaos. The client's sisters got a really good, up close look at how she was deteriorating & what was in store for them in the future & they both asked to be removed as Trustees. They decided they did not want to have to interact with her knowing she would be argumentative, was likely to contest the will & trust & drag them through h@ll in an effort to get her hands on the assets. They don't want to spend their later years of retirement being bullied & intimidated by an addict & I have to respect them for drawing firm boundaries.
So now no one in the family wants to have anything to do with the money part and we have been introducing the client to Professional Guardians that we typically deal with for our elderly clients. They have a surprising amount of experience with all kinds of dysfunctional families & a zero-tolerance for BS kind of attitude toward those in active addiction from what I've seen. They have no emotional ties to the addict so they don't respond the same way to their attempts to intimidate, etc. Plus, he said that without that emotional attachment the addict often doesn't even try all of their normal arsenal of abuse because they know it won't play with an officer of the court the way it did against family members who are more susceptable to guilt, fear, etc.
This one Guardian that we deal with in particular reminds me of a superhero even though he looks like anything BUT that on the outside, lol. I'm telling you that NOTHING but NOTHING gets by him in regards to his client's welfare. His focus is solely & 100% on his ward - there are no ifs, ands, or buts allowed. I've been amazed at the lengths he will go to to protect & defend those charged to his care.
Just food for thought!
Recently a client who had all of this ironed out called me absolutely freaking out.... her sisters had previously agreed to co-Trustee the Trust that will be created (upon her death) for benefit of her grandchildren. Her daughter is a terrible addict with multiple addictions & many ex-addict boyfriends that never quite go all the way away. The client has been raising her 2 teenaged grandsons & has the assets to provide for them well into their college years & beyond. The legal documents have been drawn up & signed for quite some time now.
Then a few weeks ago her daughter showed up trashed to a family event & proceeded to create chaos. The client's sisters got a really good, up close look at how she was deteriorating & what was in store for them in the future & they both asked to be removed as Trustees. They decided they did not want to have to interact with her knowing she would be argumentative, was likely to contest the will & trust & drag them through h@ll in an effort to get her hands on the assets. They don't want to spend their later years of retirement being bullied & intimidated by an addict & I have to respect them for drawing firm boundaries.
So now no one in the family wants to have anything to do with the money part and we have been introducing the client to Professional Guardians that we typically deal with for our elderly clients. They have a surprising amount of experience with all kinds of dysfunctional families & a zero-tolerance for BS kind of attitude toward those in active addiction from what I've seen. They have no emotional ties to the addict so they don't respond the same way to their attempts to intimidate, etc. Plus, he said that without that emotional attachment the addict often doesn't even try all of their normal arsenal of abuse because they know it won't play with an officer of the court the way it did against family members who are more susceptable to guilt, fear, etc.
This one Guardian that we deal with in particular reminds me of a superhero even though he looks like anything BUT that on the outside, lol. I'm telling you that NOTHING but NOTHING gets by him in regards to his client's welfare. His focus is solely & 100% on his ward - there are no ifs, ands, or buts allowed. I've been amazed at the lengths he will go to to protect & defend those charged to his care.
Just food for thought!
Linkin Park Enthusiast
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 548
Make it stipulated in the will that you want him to spend it on something substantial (college, house, etc.) and it will be up to the executor to make sure that whatever he wants it for qualifies as something that you would have agreed to.
I am 26, and my parents just basically forced me into doing a will. They didn't want the kids separated if I died because they have two different fathers. I just thought it was stupid, I am 26, and beyond that, I have nothing of substantial value to justify spending hundreds of dollars on a will.
In light of recent events, I am glad it is there. You never know. And you best believe, my will spells out exactly how those kids are to spend that money. People get nasty when someone dies, and it's a horrible thing. The best way to do it is to spell out exactly what you would want. The lawyer will do it for you, just say you want stipulations.
I am 26, and my parents just basically forced me into doing a will. They didn't want the kids separated if I died because they have two different fathers. I just thought it was stupid, I am 26, and beyond that, I have nothing of substantial value to justify spending hundreds of dollars on a will.
In light of recent events, I am glad it is there. You never know. And you best believe, my will spells out exactly how those kids are to spend that money. People get nasty when someone dies, and it's a horrible thing. The best way to do it is to spell out exactly what you would want. The lawyer will do it for you, just say you want stipulations.
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