The Lies Codies tell themselves!!
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
The Lies Codies tell themselves!!
The list is long! But there is one big one I read over and over again. I easily recognized it because I am or have been so guilty of it too.
To me, the biggest lie of all is........As long as he is getting better, I am getting better. "Things are so great now because he is clean." Its the old "I am working on me" which really means "he is working on him."
Oh yeah, we go to meetings because it looks and feels right. Saying I am working on ME and really doing it are very 2 very different things. In reality, we are still depending on others to make us happy, and fix us.
Please feel free to add any lies you have told yourself. We can not change what we do not acknowledge. Thank you!
To me, the biggest lie of all is........As long as he is getting better, I am getting better. "Things are so great now because he is clean." Its the old "I am working on me" which really means "he is working on him."
Oh yeah, we go to meetings because it looks and feels right. Saying I am working on ME and really doing it are very 2 very different things. In reality, we are still depending on others to make us happy, and fix us.
Please feel free to add any lies you have told yourself. We can not change what we do not acknowledge. Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 81
The toughest one for me is "if I don't do [insert enabling or rescuing behavior here] he will be sad and drink/use more." The GUILT that was on my shoulders.
The truth is, whether I was by his side or not, nurturing or not, in denial or calling him on crap, he used. He used before me and will use after me unless he decides no more. His recovery does not depend on my not "abandoning" him, and that the "I can't live without you" was manipulation.
The truth is, whether I was by his side or not, nurturing or not, in denial or calling him on crap, he used. He used before me and will use after me unless he decides no more. His recovery does not depend on my not "abandoning" him, and that the "I can't live without you" was manipulation.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
I struggle with what you said LMN. especially now. do I take my joy because my HP loves me and he is good? or is my joy in that my prayers were answered and the boo is in rehab? only time will test this. if he leaves the program early, or relapses after, then between me and my HP, I will have to cut all contact, and that would be the true test of my recovery.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,384
I agree with LMN--that is the biggest lie I have told myself. I thought that if bf was in recovery, things would be fine for me. I didn't have to worry because the problem was solved. It was his problem, not mine.
I also made the mistake of getting lazy with my own recovery because he seemed to be doing well.
I also made the mistake of getting lazy with my own recovery because he seemed to be doing well.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: My Happy Place
Posts: 700
The biggest lie I have told myself is......
Because I have caught HIM in so many lies about his drinking and using that now after 2 + years he could never possibly lie to me again......cause I have him all figured out.So I trust...again and I get burned agin...etc etc and the cycle repeats
Because I have caught HIM in so many lies about his drinking and using that now after 2 + years he could never possibly lie to me again......cause I have him all figured out.So I trust...again and I get burned agin...etc etc and the cycle repeats
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