"Kind Love" beats "Tough Love" – Top Doc explains why
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Originally Posted by Tuffgirl 
I actually posted this that same day on the F&F of A's forum:
I didn't hear one thing in his hour long plenary session that referred to blaming parents. It was about early childhood brain development - the "adverse childhood experiences" is actually another theory posited by another well-known doctor and comes out of this study: CDC - ACE Study - Adverse Childhood Experiences. Dr. Mate referred to this study in his talk, but again, never once did the discussion touch on blaming the parents.
Again, just sharing. Take what works and all that jazz...
~T
I didn't hear one thing in his hour long plenary session that referred to blaming parents. It was about early childhood brain development - the "adverse childhood experiences" is actually another theory posited by another well-known doctor and comes out of this study: CDC - ACE Study - Adverse Childhood Experiences. Dr. Mate referred to this study in his talk, but again, never once did the discussion touch on blaming the parents.
Again, just sharing. Take what works and all that jazz...
~T
<<TuffGirl>> I would have loved to have gone to a seminar; I read that he often hold these, and personally I think its great and would be really interesting. I also missed your post on the other forum, but Im glad I found it now. Thank you for posting here and sharing the link. Ive found some great things by digging into many of the govt, medical association websites. A lot of it ties together and really paints a picture (at least for me).
Yesterday, someone on the secular forum randomly posted about his book: In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts:Close Encounters with Addiction; and how it was very beneficial to their own theory and recovery. And Ive had a few people contact me privately, and that too I appreciated.
I posted the article because when I read it months ago, it perked my interest and led me to continue my research by reading his books. When I read the article I didn’t get caught up the parental blame aspect that a lot of people seemed to latch onto. It surprised me because he clearly states in that article that parents don’t have to be prefect; and the only criticism I interpreted was on failures of society to support the family structure. His theories expand outward to encompass social structures and theories.
The books also don’t “blame” the parents, but he does offer his views on the role of parenting, particularly in this book: Hold onto your kids, Why parents need to matter more than peers, co-written with Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D - for those with younger children and an interest in the subject matter; I would recommend this book. He also has a book on ADD, but I have not read that one.
<<SundaysChild>>
Wanted to comment quickly on this, he doesn’t mention genetic factors in the article; but in the books he references genetic changes coupled with environmental factors; which is typically what the medical field finds as acceptable from what Ive read on that topic. In the example you posed regarding the two brothers ( ex-president and his brother); the scenario could play out in this way: if you assume they have the same genetics and were products of the same environment, it doesn’t mean they will both turn out identical, however they may both have vulnerabilities in certain areas (like the genetic receptors); and because of this a need to self soothe. But while one might find an unhealthy outlet: substances and it leads to addiction, the other might find a healthy outlet, or at least one that is socially acceptable like work but that might actually lead to a work "addiction" fulfilling that same self soothing need... (and that addiction to work, leads him to being president of the USA – lol). That’s a really simplified version but how it could be rationalized under his theory.
~~
Take what you want, and leave the rest.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by tjp613
Do you actually believe that I haven't shown kindness and compassion to my own child?
Do you actually believe that I CHOOSE 'tough love' because I just am too lazy or self-centered to show kindness and compassion for my own child???
Do you actually believe that tough love is easy for me in any shape, fashion or form???
Wow. Just wow.
Do you actually believe that I CHOOSE 'tough love' because I just am too lazy or self-centered to show kindness and compassion for my own child???
Do you actually believe that tough love is easy for me in any shape, fashion or form???
Wow. Just wow.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 923
Good article...I continue to try to read a diversity of 'models'/'theories' and although it is tempting to feel guilty about my own role as mother...I also know that there are many variables that feed into addiction...and simply work to treat each one of my addicts (3 daughters have gone through it...one is active now...the other two are living the functional lives of their choices) with the love (1st) that is real...without unduly enabling (have gotten much better at that over the years of one child or another using in the midst of the family) and am also interested in harm reduction theories...although my understanding from working in previous years at a clinic in SF where harm reduction practices were funded and in the midst of the worst area of SF (the Tenderloin) which at the time had one of the highest rates of drug addiction (for various reasons)--and I have not, in all these years...been able to do more than to work on my own next step as a codependent with the addict...hope and pray for them to decide to turn themselves around and to stand as firm as possible around not enabling and realizing that I do not have a lot of support and figuring out what I can do next with existing resources and support.
At one time early in the addictive cycle of the girls...I was told by a therapist that I loved my children (& especially my daughters) so much that I was making it hard for them to individuate...even listened to that as it sunk in over the years...and my first addict turned into #2 and now #3.
I try to take what I can out of the articles...and to work through the guilt and self blame that tend to build up...and to realize that nobody truly knows how to beat the disease without doing the work that works for them...as a codependent...am currently struggling through a bottom that I reached (unexpectedly) and working to reclaim my life...it is much harder than it was with child #1 and #2 and I have less energy...but still working my program as I know it works and I can do it without figuring out what works and what doesn't...and do my very best...and try to turn things over to my HP--this doctor had some good things to say and I enjoyed reading the article. I will not be spouting off about it to family or friends...but I did enjoy it.
At one time early in the addictive cycle of the girls...I was told by a therapist that I loved my children (& especially my daughters) so much that I was making it hard for them to individuate...even listened to that as it sunk in over the years...and my first addict turned into #2 and now #3.
I try to take what I can out of the articles...and to work through the guilt and self blame that tend to build up...and to realize that nobody truly knows how to beat the disease without doing the work that works for them...as a codependent...am currently struggling through a bottom that I reached (unexpectedly) and working to reclaim my life...it is much harder than it was with child #1 and #2 and I have less energy...but still working my program as I know it works and I can do it without figuring out what works and what doesn't...and do my very best...and try to turn things over to my HP--this doctor had some good things to say and I enjoyed reading the article. I will not be spouting off about it to family or friends...but I did enjoy it.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 923
Good article...I continue to try to read a diversity of 'models'/'theories' and although it is tempting to feel guilty about my own role as mother...I also know that there are many variables that feed into addiction...and simply work to treat each one of my addicts (3 daughters have gone through it...one is active now...the other two are living the functional lives of their choices) with the love (1st) that is real...without unduly enabling (have gotten much better at that over the years of one child or another using in the midst of the family) and am also interested in harm reduction theories...although my understanding from working in previous years at a clinic in SF where harm reduction practices were funded and in the midst of the worst area of SF (the Tenderloin) which at the time had one of the highest rates of drug addiction (for various reasons)--and I have not, in all these years...been able to do more than to work on my own next step as a codependent with the addict...hope and pray for them to decide to turn themselves around and to stand as firm as possible around not enabling and realizing that I do not have a lot of support and figuring out what I can do next with existing resources and support.
At one time early in the addictive cycle of the girls...I was told by a therapist that I loved my children (& especially my daughters) so much that I was making it hard for them to individuate...even listened to that as it sunk in over the years...and my first addict turned into #2 and now #3.
I try to take what I can out of the articles...and to work through the guilt and self blame that tend to build up...and to realize that nobody truly knows how to beat the disease without doing the work that works for them...as a codependent...am currently struggling through a bottom that I reached (unexpectedly) and working to reclaim my life...it is much harder than it was with child #1 and #2 and I have less energy...but still working my program as I know it works and I can do it without figuring out what works and what doesn't...and do my very best...and try to turn things over to my HP--this doctor had some good things to say and I enjoyed reading the article. I will not be spouting off about it to family or friends...but I did enjoy it.
At one time early in the addictive cycle of the girls...I was told by a therapist that I loved my children (& especially my daughters) so much that I was making it hard for them to individuate...even listened to that as it sunk in over the years...and my first addict turned into #2 and now #3.
I try to take what I can out of the articles...and to work through the guilt and self blame that tend to build up...and to realize that nobody truly knows how to beat the disease without doing the work that works for them...as a codependent...am currently struggling through a bottom that I reached (unexpectedly) and working to reclaim my life...it is much harder than it was with child #1 and #2 and I have less energy...but still working my program as I know it works and I can do it without figuring out what works and what doesn't...and do my very best...and try to turn things over to my HP--this doctor had some good things to say and I enjoyed reading the article. I will not be spouting off about it to family or friends...but I did enjoy it.
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,254
I don't know. In some ways "harm reduction" could very easily be considered giving in to a defacto form of extortion ie "if you YOU don't help ME I will bring everyone down with ME". It assumes every single addict is directly affecting others & society. Many alcoholics and addicts seem to go it on their own without stealing, lying or sucking up valuable medical resources because they are private which quite frankly is how it should be. By the time someone is lying, cheating, stealing, abusing etc I think a lot of that is character, morals and/or ethics. There are choices including legal or illegal behavior. I say this in lieu of recent current events about giving into terrorist threats because if you cave once you can expect more.
On the other hand "harm reduction" might be no different than offering a food, clothing or any kind of non drug or medical assistance. But how much assistance should one be given if they won't assist themselves.
But swinging back the other way when we stopped enabling with money and some other things the addict/alkie reduced their consumption at least around here. And as pointed out there still is the decision of the addict/alkie to consume or change/stop on their own. "harm reduction" enables the selfish or niave so there is less incentive to change.
I just can't get past the feeling of being blackmailed or extorted.
On the other hand "harm reduction" might be no different than offering a food, clothing or any kind of non drug or medical assistance. But how much assistance should one be given if they won't assist themselves.
But swinging back the other way when we stopped enabling with money and some other things the addict/alkie reduced their consumption at least around here. And as pointed out there still is the decision of the addict/alkie to consume or change/stop on their own. "harm reduction" enables the selfish or niave so there is less incentive to change.
I just can't get past the feeling of being blackmailed or extorted.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 923
I learned in my work at the agency that dealt with this that 'harm reduction' can be very controversial...and at the end of the day...when funds were short and costs had to be cut...this program was cut in favor of more traditional therapy and case work...so at least you are not alone in having doubts. Me...I have never figured out how to fit it into my repertoire of tools and techniques to use...so it is something that I read about and find interesting...but have not figured out or been able to find a way to utilize that seems as if it would help either me or my addict.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 923
rivermac...I agree with your post. have hit the end of my existing rope with 3rd addict daughter over 20 years. i did tough love because i realized (& was told) that I was such a loving mother (plus having lost a child...I needed help to figure out better boundaries as child death changes one...and is hard in and of itself.
i had never heard (or been able to hear) that tough love is tough on the parents but it so truly is and I have sacrificed a lot of other things I could have done instead to do it in the hopes and prayers that my daughters would turn their lives around and lead functional lives...two have although it took years...1 is 4 years into active drug addiction and i am so weary...exhausted through and through and feel as if my soul and spirit are dying which is why am doing naranon meetings and other classes on stress and crisis management skills...even though i am not strong right now...but still holding a boundary...that i will support my daughter in her recovery but not in active addiction.
my husband has rarely if ever been in a similar place...he does his own thing...but has respected some of the boundaries i felt were necessary (he doesn't do recovery or classes but at times has listened to me when backed up by doctors). right now, i have no more strength than the boundary of supporting my daughter in her recovery but not in active addiction...i wrote it on her facebook...she has indicated that she knows and she turned to other family members (including husband) to communicate and be with.
it is hard and overwhelming. The doctors/therapists have told me that I am not strong enough to work now and the meds re-eval & change will be another 7 weeks. I know that when depressed, i see things much more negatively than they really are...but I am really grouchy and irritable...
my good thing is having my 4 year old grandson over for childcare at times...he talks to me (I have always been a talker so the isolation of not being talked to by family--doesn't matter why--it is real is very hard...but know that I need to find something else...so joined a coffee group for quiet leaders...introverts and highly sensitive people (HSP) who I really understand...when we talk...it is as if we all understand each other and there is a lot of insight and wisdom from the group...so that is good...I know that I am not a dinosaur even if this type of personality is only 15-20% of the population. Glad that it is available...and it provides an outlet.
Naranon meeting is good...and it is safe...so I can be there without fear. Hugging people is a good thing for me...and that is a good place to hug people.
The health care class on stress & crisis skills is also helping ground me...just remembering that it takes time for things to internalize for me...and just letting myself listen and trust that the learning will come when it is time...I know this about myself...that I take in a lot of data (easily overstimulated) and need rest and calm to have it sink in...so just letting it be what it is and showing up.
I am also just living in the moment as much as possible...and just letting things be what they are...a lot of the emotions around family right now are very uncomfortable...because I can tell that I didn't process all the emotions stuffed during the years of 'supporting/enabling'? my first two daughters...and now my 3 adult children are in good places...and it is hard to handle the financial position that I'm in...but doing the best I can...and husband got a job...now need to see if he will pool the money with what I have put in or if he is going to control it himself...as this would be the first money he has put in in 6-7 years...and I have always shared...but now that all my savings and retirement are gone...I know that I have to get stronger and deal with harder things...again by setting boundaries...which I suck at.
I set a boundary on tone of voice this morning and also being told last night that he was going for his walk and then he continued his habit of going who knows?--the lies have been so numerous over the years...and although it is his culture...I am also just sick and tired of not being taken into account...and said it this morning...in a calm voice and when the anger started to take over...I shut up and just let that stay inside...but I did say that it wasn't ok with me...and ignored all the quacking(?)--excuse about seeing a high school soccer game--the family obsession with soccer is really on my nerves and I don't care...didn't badger about knowing he probably went to the bar (know he wasn't drunk or hadn't drunk--but the years and years of not being paid any attention to are really so bad now...but my financial situation no longer allows me to leave...and I don't know if I would be strong enough anyway...so working and praying for additional coping skills...and trying to be honest with myself that my original hopes and dreams were not realistic and that I have not been realistic about many things.
I have always known that I am supportive when people are sick or in trouble (my dad was this way)--but now I realize that the codependency underlying that behavior has really done a number on me...and I still have to figure out how to get up and get going.
I need to be grateful for all I can be...so included those things here...and ask God to show me how to face my life issues...again...I am grateful for my naranon group and literature...and I am working to remember the many many times God has showed up in my life and in the life of other loved ones...so that I do not go through another faith crisis as I did before I went to Chile in 2012.
It is hard...nothing like I envisioned as a child...I know the isolation of someone who goes through depression...gets stronger and gets up again and moves forward...but this down has been so much harder and more serious than previously...and I am fighting the sense of embarrassment & shame & guilt so much harder and I am still having a hard time.
Still grateful for my cat who sleeps on my bed and snuggles...because he helps me to know that I am still alive and my heart is beating although my spirit is ragged. I was brought up to believe in the permanence of marriage and I observed many hard things my parents went through during their lives...and so I don't expect things to be easy...this fighting to come through whatever the emotions might be and being felled though is really hard...and I know that I do not feel that I can be loved or lovable if I don't 'earn my keep and take care of myself' and over the years...know this has been true since I was quite small--about 3-4 years old...so just asking for steps to take and the order of the steps...
Choosing posting here over trying to say anything to husband that is not positive...(mostly that is how I am anyway)--but I no longer feel sorry for him or make excuses for him when he 'can't' as in my own work for me...have successfully found therapists over many years who have told me that 'can't' really means 'won't' and what I always applied to myself...I am applying to him.
The therapist has confirmed that the family alienation could be true...and in that, I know I need to let go and let God of the things that do not serve me. Afterall...if me telling a truth (I wasn't aware at the time that I was a truth teller when Dad died 13 years ago...and told my mom my 'feelings' were hurt when she changed the living trust to list me (for the 2nd time in my life as a lower person in the sibling group--that is so insignificant now...I worked on it until it just went away...and I realized that she was incapable of loving me in any way I could understand and that Dad's death allowed her to have her own way which is something that everyone has...so nothing wrong there)--and in the intervening years...have had enough crisis with my own kids and financial loss that I couldn't have done it anyway...although at first I wondered why she couldn't accept me just as I am...have outgrown that as well..so in many ways...my mother alienating herself and her 3 other kids from me has been a blessing...because it taught me at least enough to know that I cannot make anyone care or be there for me...it is a gift of the spirit and none of us have the right to try to control it.
So I am working on that with my own children and letting husband work on his own letting go (which I do judge--it is the chilean way from 40 years ago and it means the kids are expected to take care of their parents...which can crush young adults if not done in good measure)--but am just focusing on paying the bills and what he contributes and focusing on my own self care.
Boy...this sure was a big slide down Mt Everest...that is what my therapist and I referred to my journey as as 12 years ago we did so much marital therapy and also went through the drug use of my oldest daughter and 2nd daughter and the deep denial of family...which has not changed...has gotten stronger. I sure hope that God has a plan for me...because this sucks...but I am grateful for it...because it will teach me more about what is healthier...and this time...it needs to be for me...instead of everyone else. Grateful for all the knowledge gleaned over the years and the experience of having figured out as much as I did through learning and knowledge and yes...action.
Now...need to figure out the next step...and also to give myself some credit for paying the bills for many years in hardship and making the best of things (still doing this) and letting go; letting God over many things that I learned from control and power in my FOO and now...well...whatever is for now...know it won't be easy and going to work more on breaking things down to smaller steps so they can be ingested and digested...and being grateful for the ideas that are coming (slower than I want...but they are useful and good)--had one about managing my health care this week after the quiet leaders coffee.
I sure wish there was more clarity...but I need to be patient. I know (from my past experiences have found) that in time, if I do the next right thing...as guided by God and just keep adding up those small steps...I will get stronger. I am trying not to judge anyone...or to try to say what they are thinking or feelings...because the truth is that I do not know. I am holding conversations to short and positive (tone and body language included) and I am giving myself some affirmations as I remember...
God Bless.
i had never heard (or been able to hear) that tough love is tough on the parents but it so truly is and I have sacrificed a lot of other things I could have done instead to do it in the hopes and prayers that my daughters would turn their lives around and lead functional lives...two have although it took years...1 is 4 years into active drug addiction and i am so weary...exhausted through and through and feel as if my soul and spirit are dying which is why am doing naranon meetings and other classes on stress and crisis management skills...even though i am not strong right now...but still holding a boundary...that i will support my daughter in her recovery but not in active addiction.
my husband has rarely if ever been in a similar place...he does his own thing...but has respected some of the boundaries i felt were necessary (he doesn't do recovery or classes but at times has listened to me when backed up by doctors). right now, i have no more strength than the boundary of supporting my daughter in her recovery but not in active addiction...i wrote it on her facebook...she has indicated that she knows and she turned to other family members (including husband) to communicate and be with.
it is hard and overwhelming. The doctors/therapists have told me that I am not strong enough to work now and the meds re-eval & change will be another 7 weeks. I know that when depressed, i see things much more negatively than they really are...but I am really grouchy and irritable...
my good thing is having my 4 year old grandson over for childcare at times...he talks to me (I have always been a talker so the isolation of not being talked to by family--doesn't matter why--it is real is very hard...but know that I need to find something else...so joined a coffee group for quiet leaders...introverts and highly sensitive people (HSP) who I really understand...when we talk...it is as if we all understand each other and there is a lot of insight and wisdom from the group...so that is good...I know that I am not a dinosaur even if this type of personality is only 15-20% of the population. Glad that it is available...and it provides an outlet.
Naranon meeting is good...and it is safe...so I can be there without fear. Hugging people is a good thing for me...and that is a good place to hug people.
The health care class on stress & crisis skills is also helping ground me...just remembering that it takes time for things to internalize for me...and just letting myself listen and trust that the learning will come when it is time...I know this about myself...that I take in a lot of data (easily overstimulated) and need rest and calm to have it sink in...so just letting it be what it is and showing up.
I am also just living in the moment as much as possible...and just letting things be what they are...a lot of the emotions around family right now are very uncomfortable...because I can tell that I didn't process all the emotions stuffed during the years of 'supporting/enabling'? my first two daughters...and now my 3 adult children are in good places...and it is hard to handle the financial position that I'm in...but doing the best I can...and husband got a job...now need to see if he will pool the money with what I have put in or if he is going to control it himself...as this would be the first money he has put in in 6-7 years...and I have always shared...but now that all my savings and retirement are gone...I know that I have to get stronger and deal with harder things...again by setting boundaries...which I suck at.
I set a boundary on tone of voice this morning and also being told last night that he was going for his walk and then he continued his habit of going who knows?--the lies have been so numerous over the years...and although it is his culture...I am also just sick and tired of not being taken into account...and said it this morning...in a calm voice and when the anger started to take over...I shut up and just let that stay inside...but I did say that it wasn't ok with me...and ignored all the quacking(?)--excuse about seeing a high school soccer game--the family obsession with soccer is really on my nerves and I don't care...didn't badger about knowing he probably went to the bar (know he wasn't drunk or hadn't drunk--but the years and years of not being paid any attention to are really so bad now...but my financial situation no longer allows me to leave...and I don't know if I would be strong enough anyway...so working and praying for additional coping skills...and trying to be honest with myself that my original hopes and dreams were not realistic and that I have not been realistic about many things.
I have always known that I am supportive when people are sick or in trouble (my dad was this way)--but now I realize that the codependency underlying that behavior has really done a number on me...and I still have to figure out how to get up and get going.
I need to be grateful for all I can be...so included those things here...and ask God to show me how to face my life issues...again...I am grateful for my naranon group and literature...and I am working to remember the many many times God has showed up in my life and in the life of other loved ones...so that I do not go through another faith crisis as I did before I went to Chile in 2012.
It is hard...nothing like I envisioned as a child...I know the isolation of someone who goes through depression...gets stronger and gets up again and moves forward...but this down has been so much harder and more serious than previously...and I am fighting the sense of embarrassment & shame & guilt so much harder and I am still having a hard time.
Still grateful for my cat who sleeps on my bed and snuggles...because he helps me to know that I am still alive and my heart is beating although my spirit is ragged. I was brought up to believe in the permanence of marriage and I observed many hard things my parents went through during their lives...and so I don't expect things to be easy...this fighting to come through whatever the emotions might be and being felled though is really hard...and I know that I do not feel that I can be loved or lovable if I don't 'earn my keep and take care of myself' and over the years...know this has been true since I was quite small--about 3-4 years old...so just asking for steps to take and the order of the steps...
Choosing posting here over trying to say anything to husband that is not positive...(mostly that is how I am anyway)--but I no longer feel sorry for him or make excuses for him when he 'can't' as in my own work for me...have successfully found therapists over many years who have told me that 'can't' really means 'won't' and what I always applied to myself...I am applying to him.
The therapist has confirmed that the family alienation could be true...and in that, I know I need to let go and let God of the things that do not serve me. Afterall...if me telling a truth (I wasn't aware at the time that I was a truth teller when Dad died 13 years ago...and told my mom my 'feelings' were hurt when she changed the living trust to list me (for the 2nd time in my life as a lower person in the sibling group--that is so insignificant now...I worked on it until it just went away...and I realized that she was incapable of loving me in any way I could understand and that Dad's death allowed her to have her own way which is something that everyone has...so nothing wrong there)--and in the intervening years...have had enough crisis with my own kids and financial loss that I couldn't have done it anyway...although at first I wondered why she couldn't accept me just as I am...have outgrown that as well..so in many ways...my mother alienating herself and her 3 other kids from me has been a blessing...because it taught me at least enough to know that I cannot make anyone care or be there for me...it is a gift of the spirit and none of us have the right to try to control it.
So I am working on that with my own children and letting husband work on his own letting go (which I do judge--it is the chilean way from 40 years ago and it means the kids are expected to take care of their parents...which can crush young adults if not done in good measure)--but am just focusing on paying the bills and what he contributes and focusing on my own self care.
Boy...this sure was a big slide down Mt Everest...that is what my therapist and I referred to my journey as as 12 years ago we did so much marital therapy and also went through the drug use of my oldest daughter and 2nd daughter and the deep denial of family...which has not changed...has gotten stronger. I sure hope that God has a plan for me...because this sucks...but I am grateful for it...because it will teach me more about what is healthier...and this time...it needs to be for me...instead of everyone else. Grateful for all the knowledge gleaned over the years and the experience of having figured out as much as I did through learning and knowledge and yes...action.
Now...need to figure out the next step...and also to give myself some credit for paying the bills for many years in hardship and making the best of things (still doing this) and letting go; letting God over many things that I learned from control and power in my FOO and now...well...whatever is for now...know it won't be easy and going to work more on breaking things down to smaller steps so they can be ingested and digested...and being grateful for the ideas that are coming (slower than I want...but they are useful and good)--had one about managing my health care this week after the quiet leaders coffee.
I sure wish there was more clarity...but I need to be patient. I know (from my past experiences have found) that in time, if I do the next right thing...as guided by God and just keep adding up those small steps...I will get stronger. I am trying not to judge anyone...or to try to say what they are thinking or feelings...because the truth is that I do not know. I am holding conversations to short and positive (tone and body language included) and I am giving myself some affirmations as I remember...
God Bless.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,254
Originally Posted by irisgardens
I learned in my work at the agency that dealt with this that 'harm reduction' can be very controversial...and at the end of the day...when funds were short and costs had to be cut...this program was cut in favor of more traditional therapy and case work...so at least you are not alone in having doubts. Me...I have never figured out how to fit it into my repertoire of tools and techniques to use...so it is something that I read about and find interesting...but have not figured out or been able to find a way to utilize that seems as if it would help either me or my addict.
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