kyles

That's a really disturbing thought, actually. I did think she was a boy until about 6 months.

Vale

No,Kyles......you don't want to know.....ancient SR lore!

8 days! Starting her SECOND week on Earth.Magical......
(so far,each day has been one seventh of her life)

Be prepared for every person on God's green Earth to dispense unsolicited
"baby advice"

((((((LIKE PET WISDOM!!!))))))

Smile,nod your head alot,and ignore 99% of it......this is YOUR baby,and you
will do just fine----as countless Mothers (ALWAYS spelled with a capital "M") have
before you.

Babies are nature & God's way of saying "Life goes on".You cannot go to a maternity
ward and walk away untouched.The chubby/healthy ones make you happy.The premies
fighting for life show us the value of it.And the ones who don't make it----show us that they
and their parents at least had the guts to throw their hat into the game of life.

At almost 8 lbs! What a honker!! No wonder it took 13 hours!She in all likelihood will
see the 22nd century.What will she witness and see as commonplace-----things that today
we cannot imagine????

hello-kitty

Best advice anyone ever gave me when my son was born was "sleep when the baby sleeps".

I'm sure your parents would be absolutely thrilled if you would let them help with the baby right now Kyles. It's their granddaughter for petes sake. It's not like you are dumping her on them so you can go out and party it up. They raised a baby. They know how hard it is the first few weeks.

allforcnm

Hi Kyles,

They do grow up so fast ! Next year your daughter will be about the age my son is now. He is too little to understand about Santa, but he is in love with the Christmas tree. He stares at it, wants to touch every ornament, every branch. My husband has been lifting him up to the very top of the tree to see the angel, and now he raises his arms up subtly (yeah right) implying he wants back up to see his new friend. It is so cute. But never fear the bottom of the tree is also a favorite. He fits under it perfectly and wants us all to join him. Dog included. Then the fun really begins. Its all so amazing.

Im so happy to hear everything is going good for you, and daddy. Your all kept in my prayers. My tip: Try not to focus too much on the addiction stuff right now, enjoy your little girl, and make happy memories for this holiday.

kmangel

I remember when my son was one week old, holding him in my arms in my rocker, making an impression in my mind to never forgot that moment in time. He is 33 years old today. The time flies by in a blink of the eye. Enjoy your new daughter!

kyles

Yeah, I've already started to experience the unsolicited advice, and I've barely been around anyone! Some of the people don't even have children of their own...

Someone else told me the same thing today. I will naturally just know how to do certain things for her and I don't have to worry so much about doing it right.

My bf was 8 lbs when he was born. I was only 5. I'm small all over. I don't know how a nearly 8 lbs baby came out of me!


I've been trying to sleep when she does, but recently I've had to use that time to do other things, like study for my exams. Then I find I do have time left over, but it's never enough to sleep. I don't do power naps. I wish I could sleep for 45 minutes, but I can't.

As far as letting my parents help, I guess I just feel a lot of guilt since they're already helping so much and I also feel like I have to prove I can do it myself. I don't know.


Sometimes she seems mesmerized by the lights on the tree. I know she can't even see super well at this point, but the bright lights so catch her attention. It'll be a lot more fun when she can understand what's going on. She already has several Christmas outfits.

kyles

Why can nothing good last long for me? I don't get it. I think it's my fault. My boyfriend has supposedly been snorting oxy. His friend (not a drug buddy) told me he's been using oxy. I asked my bf and he said he's only done it a few times. I just left him alone with the baby for 5 hours the other day (I was there, but I went to sleep). I feel horrible. Today we got in a big argument because I told him he can't be around if he continues to use. I can't stick with any ultimatums. I can't do anything right. What's wrong with me? Ugh!!!!!!!!

crazybabie

kyles, it is NOT your fault he makes his own choices You didn't cause it, You can't control it and You can't cure it. Kyles, he is doing what addict do hon I know how hard it is for you an in a way for him but not totally how hard for him. Good things do come your way take a look at your precious baby she is a tiny little miracle.

I know you have been busy and had not gotten to any meetings maybe you could consider trying the ones we have here on Wednesday nights for now?

kyles

I just don't get why this has to happen to me. I don't get why I continue to make these stupid decisions, and even though I know they're bad decisions, I still can't stop. I don't even deserve to have her.

I may come to the meetings, I just feel like it's pointless for me. I don't like to pity myself or anything, I'm not trying to. I'm just so frustrated with myself and with everything right now.

LoveMeNow

There is a lesson in all this, I promise. You have a chance to get emotionally healthy and raise an emotionally healthy daughter. But you have to want it, just like your bf has to want to get and stay clean.

I so wish I had learned all this at a young age, I was far too immature to want to but a baby may of have changed all that, who knows. I am learning it now and I am so glad for the oportunity.

Go easy on yourself, you have a lot on your plate. Kiss that beautiful little girl from Auntie LMN and get some rest.

hello-kitty

He's a drug addict doing what drug addicts do. Some day you will stop being surprised. That's called acceptance and its the first step in your recovery from codependence. Try not to let his bad choices steal your serenity. You have no control over him. He's not using at you or because of you. He's just feeding his addiction. Unfortunately he's not done being a drug addict yet. You can get off the rollercoaster whenever you are ready.:ghug3

crazybabie

Kyles, I understand what you wrote here more than you will ever know I felt the same way I felt why me, I felt it was my fault, I felt my HP hated me even.

Your a good mother you do deserve your daughter it isn't pointless even though it seems so right now to you. I was my own worst enemy and sometimes I still am. The others are right be easier on yourself, and he is doing what addicts do and it is not personal for me sometimes it sure feels that way. Maybe you will in time see that no matter what he is doing you might need to get a healthier mindset for your daughter and you. For me that wasn't easy and took way to much time for me to see.

I am sorry your in such emotional pain.

hello-kitty

I heard the best advice on the radio today about dealing with self-pity parties. It was:

Every night before you go to bed, WRITE down 3 things that you are grateful for. That's it. Just write it down. Everyone has good and bad times, but it's what you focus on that gives it power. So, if you focus on thankfulness and gratefulness and take action in that direction by WRITING it down, you give power to the positive things in your life. However, if you focus on negative and bad things, you give those things power in your life.

It's a conscious choice - to focus on the positive. But it can change your life... when you are ready.

hello-kitty

So I wanted to clarify what I wrote early (I heard the radio program again) -- the psychologist suggests that every evening before bed, you write down three good things that happened to you during the day and one person that you are thankful for and why. Hmmmm.... sounds like great advice to me!

LoveMeNow

I was writing down my gratitue list every morning but I can see the benefits to doing it at the end of the day. I think I am going to try that for a while now. Thank you for sharing.

Faithlove

Congratulations on your sweet bundle of joy!!!

dollydo

Hon, you are so very young, a child raising a child is a monumental task at best. Toss in an addicted boyfriend and the stress level increases 1000%. Learning how to make responsible decisions in life takes maturity, maturity generally comes with age and experience. You are just beginning your journey, be patient, learn from your mistakes,
so that you do not repeat them. We all make mistakes. Heck, I am old enough to be your granny and I still do some real dumb things!!

Don't be hard on yourself, if you need to, talk to your parents, tell them what is really going on, if need be, they will make the difficult decisions that you are unable to make at this time.

Reach out to your parents, get to meetings, keep posting, it will help, we are here for you.

kyles

I just feel like "What's wrong with me?" A lot of people said when she was born things would get easier, like as far as me making decisions and stuff. It hasn't really. I feel like this just shows I'm already a horrible mother!


This sounds like really good advice. I'm going to try it. Thanks for sharing the idea!


Thanks dolly. It's just discouraging I guess because I want to do everything right and I still don't get why even though I feel that way, I still can't always do what may be right.

I can't tell my parents any of this because I know what they'll do. If it comes down to it I will though.


Anyway, we had a pretty good Christmas. I spent most of the day with my family and then took Nora over to my bf's family's house because a lot of his family wanted to see her. Of course he gave me the whole "I promise I won't do it again, I'll stay clean from now on, I love you" thing, but I'm trying really hard to not put any weight in that at all and just wait until I actually see him doing those things. That's hard for me because I always want to believe what he says, but I know I can't do that anymore.

crazybabie

Kyles, your not a bad mother, being a new mom and especially a first time mom, and yes a young mom,( even if I left the young out it can be overwhelming.) is hard add to that what your body just went through, not getting much sleep, having to keep secrets, finding a hard time working on yourself , hon your plate is so full which makes making decisions harder.

I don't think everyone meant this soon after the baby was born I know I would not think so because of the above things I mentioned.




I am glad you had a good Christmas just think this time next year she will be likely walking and you will be guarding the tree lol.