One week to go....
Restoring myself to sanity
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
One week to go....
One more week and my divorce will be final.. AH is still living in my house but he is packing up boxes and has promised me that he will be out by the 20th.. he did request that i stop asking when he was leaving and just let him pack.. i'm going to honor that because I know that he is hurting too and probably scared because he still hasnt found a place to live.. I know, I know not my problem.. he wont be homeless because he has a family that will not allow that to happen so I know that I cant worry about him anymore.
Part of me is happy that my marriage is ending and that I will no longer be involved with and addict and the other part of me is devestated. I've always been one that liked closure even though I know that closure is not always possible.. i've thought about writing my AH a letter just letting him know that I have forgiven him for everything.. not placing blame because in the end it doesnt matter, i just want to be able to release him with light, love and peace..
What do you guys think? is this a good idea or not?
Part of me is happy that my marriage is ending and that I will no longer be involved with and addict and the other part of me is devestated. I've always been one that liked closure even though I know that closure is not always possible.. i've thought about writing my AH a letter just letting him know that I have forgiven him for everything.. not placing blame because in the end it doesnt matter, i just want to be able to release him with light, love and peace..
What do you guys think? is this a good idea or not?
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
I think you should write the letter and hold onto it for at least 3 weeks AFTER he moves out. If you still feel the need to send it to him, then send it.
Just writing the letter could be just what YOU need for closure.
Just writing the letter could be just what YOU need for closure.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
I wasn't married to the addict I cared about.
(Big difference).We all (at least I did) secretly
hope that we can find the 'right words' to end
this nightmare.....or at least part on a civil basis.
Words don't seem to be enough,and are seen
on the addiction side as an opening,an opening in our
armor in which to insert a crowbar.
We who are on the receiving end get none of
the fun, none of the highs,none of the "good stuff"
that they are drawn to like moths to the flame.
We get the privilege of cleaning up the mess,
while "king baby" poops up a storm.
When you care about someone who repeatedly
hurts you.......the only defense we have is to not care
anymore.
There's love, hate, and indifference.The first two
are hot.......both are engaged,focused, and actively
trying to better the tactical picture.
Indifference is different. As cold as the arctic.
As I approach the one year point of ending a very
life-sucking dynamic-----I find indifference to be the
end all/be all and the best possible outcome to a chess
game that could never be anything more than a draw.
She's probably still selling stolen crap on Craigslist.
I don't care to look.
I,too,wrote a lot of letters-----but I think it
would have been a mistake to send any of them,
so I didn't. My ESH, for what it's worth.
We wish you well on the 20th!
(Big difference).We all (at least I did) secretly
hope that we can find the 'right words' to end
this nightmare.....or at least part on a civil basis.
Words don't seem to be enough,and are seen
on the addiction side as an opening,an opening in our
armor in which to insert a crowbar.
We who are on the receiving end get none of
the fun, none of the highs,none of the "good stuff"
that they are drawn to like moths to the flame.
We get the privilege of cleaning up the mess,
while "king baby" poops up a storm.
When you care about someone who repeatedly
hurts you.......the only defense we have is to not care
anymore.
There's love, hate, and indifference.The first two
are hot.......both are engaged,focused, and actively
trying to better the tactical picture.
Indifference is different. As cold as the arctic.
As I approach the one year point of ending a very
life-sucking dynamic-----I find indifference to be the
end all/be all and the best possible outcome to a chess
game that could never be anything more than a draw.
She's probably still selling stolen crap on Craigslist.
I don't care to look.
I,too,wrote a lot of letters-----but I think it
would have been a mistake to send any of them,
so I didn't. My ESH, for what it's worth.
We wish you well on the 20th!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 8
You are starting a new chapter though it's hard ending the one you are just finishing. I'm on the same road you are on right now. It's been a process that has taken years. Papers are filed and he is still living in the house as well. Stay strong. Stay positive. Stay in the present. Tomorrow will be here before you know it.
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