Need support
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
Originally Posted by ApPLeOfMYeYe 
Hi Everyone,
Its been a little while since i posted. I have been struggling with the decision of leaving my active addict for quit some time but finally he has broke my last straw. I feel the need to protect my 3 year old daughter. He decided to take a three day trip to go pick up pot. He has a bad prescription drug problem and i think he is doing this for money. While he is gone i have decided to pack my daughters and my stuff up and leave. I feel like a bad person for up and leaving right before thanksgiving. Am I? do you think i am making a good decision? I just really cant live this roller coaster anymore. I don't even feel safe living with him anymore i am so afraid the law will be knocking on the door one night for him and me and my daughter will be in the cross hairs. i don't want anything to happen to my daughter. I just need some support that i am making the right decision.
Its been a little while since i posted. I have been struggling with the decision of leaving my active addict for quit some time but finally he has broke my last straw. I feel the need to protect my 3 year old daughter. He decided to take a three day trip to go pick up pot. He has a bad prescription drug problem and i think he is doing this for money. While he is gone i have decided to pack my daughters and my stuff up and leave. I feel like a bad person for up and leaving right before thanksgiving. Am I? do you think i am making a good decision? I just really cant live this roller coaster anymore. I don't even feel safe living with him anymore i am so afraid the law will be knocking on the door one night for him and me and my daughter will be in the cross hairs. i don't want anything to happen to my daughter. I just need some support that i am making the right decision.
Dont feel bad at all hon.. you are doing whats best for you and your daughter.. thats the best holiday gift to give yourself..
((((hugs)))
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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Thanks everyone it means a lot to have you all being so supportive!! Well I left on Tuesday and was no there when he returned on wed. He tried calling me i didn't answer. Finally i grew week and answered and explained to him how i felt and how i was no longer going to be apart of it. After i got off the phone i did some things with my daughter to keep my mind off things. Later my phone was blowing up from my old neighbors that live next to my ex boyfriends house telling me i needed to call them. I was concerned so i called and they told me he tried to commit suicide and my neighbor found him in the garage. he went to the hospital which kept him for a while then sent him to horsham clinic. I was so beside myself thinking it was my fault. I am realizing now it is not my fault but it is still hard when his family is blaming me. I am just trying to do the right thing for my daughter and i. It makes me upset because i feel as though they don't care about the well fair of there granddaughter at all. hes been calling me left and right while he is in the clinic getting help. I am so torn on what to do he is getting help so i don't want to cut him off but on the other hand i feel i need time to heal. It is so hard listening to him beg me to please stick around for me i love you so much, if i cant have you i am going to do it again, and so forth. I am just so confused cause i almost want to move on from all this as well. My head is spinning. Plus i am getting pulled from both sides my parents want it over for good then his side even know there blaming right now want me to stick it out. When is everything going to calm down so i can figure this out for myself!!! THANKS FOR LETTING ME VENT!!!
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Originally Posted by Jody675
i know it feels wrong, but what you are doing is all for the right reasons. you are protecting your daughter. you are protecting yourself. you have finally done one thing for the first time in how long? that is right. there is never a right time, so why put it off! i hope you have a peaceful holiday. but im guessing this is just the start of it. be prepared. get your backup of friends and family that you can help you stay strong and safe. is he the father of your child? if not, there is no reason to have contact with him. dont listen to the manipulation that is about to start. remember why you have done this. and stay strong. i wish you all the best.
Yes he is the father......thank you so much i really really needed to hear that!!
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Originally Posted by jerect
I filed for a divorce the week before Thanksgiving and my AH is going to have to find a new place to crash before Christmas.. Do I feel bad? Sort of, but the other side of me knows that there is no good time to leave a spouse.. Just do it.. it's going to be a painful holiday season for me but I've endured worse as my dad died two weeks before Christmas.. I look as getting through the muck so that I can start the new year off on the right foot..
Dont feel bad at all hon.. you are doing whats best for you and your daughter.. thats the best holiday gift to give yourself..
((((hugs)))
Dont feel bad at all hon.. you are doing whats best for you and your daughter.. thats the best holiday gift to give yourself..
((((hugs)))
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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Posts: 21
Originally Posted by Tarot
You are absolutely doing the right thing...!!! Be the role model you want your daughter to see. Not some one who stays with all hell breaking loose around her. But some one with the strength to walk away from bad situations.
It's hard at the moment but things do get better.
Big hugs.
It's hard at the moment but things do get better.
Big hugs.
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Originally Posted by jewel14
You are protecting your child, there is nothing wrong with that!
My ex overdosed in our house, I had a bad feeling I could not get ahold of him and we were already having problems, so my sister in law went to check on him, he was taken away in an ambulance and in the hospital. I packed my kids and moved to my dads while he was still in the hospital. Some people would say that was wrong, but my first instinct was to get my kids the H@## out of there and FAST.
My ex overdosed in our house, I had a bad feeling I could not get ahold of him and we were already having problems, so my sister in law went to check on him, he was taken away in an ambulance and in the hospital. I packed my kids and moved to my dads while he was still in the hospital. Some people would say that was wrong, but my first instinct was to get my kids the H@## out of there and FAST.
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(((((ApPLeOfMYeYe)))))
You have done a WONDERFUL move for both your daughter and you. Previous posters are correct, be prepared, he is going to 'blow up your phone' with manipulation and all the words you wished were true.
As to his family, well they seem to be in denial so allow them to stay there. You can go NO CONTACT with them as they are really way too 'toxic' for you or your daughter at this time.
One of your boundaries can be that you only talk to him if he has a question about his daughter, and if starts to change the subject you have the right to HANG UP.
His suicide attempt and any future ones are ON HIM. You are NOT TO BLAME for any of it. It was his actions that required you to leave with your daughter and not it is HIS CONSEQUENCES to face. In his warped mind (yes warped and destroyed by the drugs) he is still blaming everyone else but himself. You cannot change that or his family.
You however, have given yourself the opportunity now to do whatever you want with your life and the taking care of your daughter.
What a beautiful 'role model' you are for her!!!!!!
Good job. Keep up the great work!!!
Lots of love and bunches of hugs,
ps: stick with YOUR family, sounds to me they have you and your daughters best interests at heart.
You have done a WONDERFUL move for both your daughter and you. Previous posters are correct, be prepared, he is going to 'blow up your phone' with manipulation and all the words you wished were true.
As to his family, well they seem to be in denial so allow them to stay there. You can go NO CONTACT with them as they are really way too 'toxic' for you or your daughter at this time.
One of your boundaries can be that you only talk to him if he has a question about his daughter, and if starts to change the subject you have the right to HANG UP.
His suicide attempt and any future ones are ON HIM. You are NOT TO BLAME for any of it. It was his actions that required you to leave with your daughter and not it is HIS CONSEQUENCES to face. In his warped mind (yes warped and destroyed by the drugs) he is still blaming everyone else but himself. You cannot change that or his family.
You however, have given yourself the opportunity now to do whatever you want with your life and the taking care of your daughter.
What a beautiful 'role model' you are for her!!!!!!
Good job. Keep up the great work!!!
Lots of love and bunches of hugs,
ps: stick with YOUR family, sounds to me they have you and your daughters best interests at heart.
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