Sunflower10

Hello, I am new here. My 26yo is in day 5 in a detox facility for Methadone. He may be a few days further in terms of w/drawal, as his bloodwork showed none when he checked in. He is allowed one 5 minute phone call per day. We did drop 2 novels off for him at the desk; that was allowed. He says the food is excellent, but, of course, he has not been able to eat any yet. I cannot imagine he has been able to read yet, coherently, either. My question is: does anyone have any suggestions as to something with little monetary value that I might drop off for him? A specific thing to read, or an item that might be allowed? I have not spoken to him since mid-September. His phone calls are to his dad. I won't go into it, but with the violence, and my enabling, I don't trust myself to say the right thing. He has a birthday coming up next week, and I would like to think of something, anything, that might bring a little encouragement to him, as well as something helpful.

Kateg

Check on the facility on what they allow. Maybe ballons with encouraging sayings. Perhaps you can write him a letter on how much you support him in his recovery. Get yourself some help either A support group or theripst and read everything you can on enabeling. This of course is easier to put in writting than the actual action it takes to help youself through this. Keep your head up! Im rooting for you!

outtolunch

Back when, I was convinced that there was something I could say or do that would encorage my adult daughter to choose to live her life as I saw fit. It was emotonally painful and humbling to eventually accept that I was powerless over my daughter and her lousy choices. She was going to live her life as she chose to do, no different than anyone else.

When I accepted my powerlessness, I began the process of taking back my own life and relearning how to control my reactions to people, places and things beyond my control.

The best gift a parent can give their adult child is unconditional love and the dignity to find their own way, come what may.

SundaysChild

Every rehab has their own policies on what types of "things" are allowed. I would not focus on getting him something that would "help, but just focus on giving him something small that would express your love for him. Something made by hand, or a letter expressing how much you love him, a photo of the family in happy times, or just a card.

MrsDragon

Sunflower,

I think a gift on his birthday is quite acceptable and shows a loving gesture regardless of what you give. Families are often left with tattered relationships when substances are involved, but if he is in recovery hopefully in time healing can take place in time.

Id suggest either making or buying a single decorated cupcake for his birthday, and add in some additional snacks like candy, nuts, dried fruits, cookies, and a card with whatever sentiment you wish to convey, any inspirational quotes that you might like to share, family picture, etc. If he has a specific interest, then maybe you could tap that in the form of book, magazines, or music. Inspiring associations with positive activities. And depending on the need, maybe comfortable pieces of clothing.

Good Luck to all of you.

SeekingGrowth

When my son was in rehab the second time, he bought a little stone crucifix necklace at the gift shop that had special significance to him. He'd never been particularly religious, but was curious about spirituality and began cultivating it more while in rehab. He also brought home after rehab a book of meditations that someone had given him, and that had special meaning for him. Another thing that had meaning to him was a little silver turtle that had the word "Simplify" engraved on its shell. Very early recovery generates depression and anxiety, so these types of things gave my son comfort.