I must be doing something wrong!!
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
I must be doing something wrong!!
I did not react, I did not enable, I did not try and rescue! I stayed detached. I truly believed I was mostly at peace with what ever happened with my husband!!
Then today, I felt very deflated and unmotivated all day. I had so much to do and got nothing done. I usually love to pay bills, it's like a natural high for me. lol I didn't even do that!!
What am I doing wrong??
Then today, I felt very deflated and unmotivated all day. I had so much to do and got nothing done. I usually love to pay bills, it's like a natural high for me. lol I didn't even do that!!
What am I doing wrong??
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
Yes. Sometimes I feel strong and happy. Sometimes I feel depressed, lonely and unloved. I think the roller coaster of emotions is part of the healing process. This is very painful dealing with an addict. I think the best thing is to just let yourself feel and heal. This time last year I was still in shock, contacting and crying. Now, I have bouts of depression here and there but have accepted and am slowly moving on. The roller coaster is slowly slowing down and becoming more steady.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
I do not believe you did anything wrong.
What I hve found out these many years now is that if I don't have a 'bad' day
now and then, I won't have anything to compare my 'good' days to. Yep, if
all I were to have were 'good' days, I wouldn't know a what bad day was and
my life would be boring.
Soooooo.................................. thank your HP for today, after all you have
been breathing in and out, and look for a better day tomorrow.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
What I hve found out these many years now is that if I don't have a 'bad' day
now and then, I won't have anything to compare my 'good' days to. Yep, if
all I were to have were 'good' days, I wouldn't know a what bad day was and
my life would be boring.
Soooooo.................................. thank your HP for today, after all you have
been breathing in and out, and look for a better day tomorrow.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 285
Your not doing anything wrong. You're only human and the emotional rides take their tolls on us. That's why we take it one day at a time. I caught up with one of my close friends today in the office and told her a little of what has been going on - When my wonderful friend looked at me with those sad eyes of hers, filled with pity and told me she feels so bad for me - I wanted to just break down and scream to let the flood gates go. But instead, I started singing a tune... Life's a dance, sometimes you lead and sometimes you follow....She cracked up laughing and so did I. Allow yourself the bad and good days. Our bad days are part of our recovery and are a growth opportunity for us. Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 285
LOL-
In May when my world turned upside down, I went on a cleaning fit for almost a month straight - I mean I bleached all the grout in all the rooms in my house with a toothbrush. As I read this today in Oct I look around my office and the entire room is scattered with toys. I guess I need to go on a different cycle before I break a leg over one of these toys
In May when my world turned upside down, I went on a cleaning fit for almost a month straight - I mean I bleached all the grout in all the rooms in my house with a toothbrush. As I read this today in Oct I look around my office and the entire room is scattered with toys. I guess I need to go on a different cycle before I break a leg over one of these toys
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Originally Posted by LoveMeNot 
I did not react, I did not enable, I did not try and rescue! I stayed detached. I truly believed I was mostly at peace with what ever happened with my husband!!
Then today, I felt very deflated and unmotivated all day. I had so much to do and got nothing done. I usually love to pay bills, it's like a natural high for me. lol I didn't even do that!!
What am I doing wrong??
Then today, I felt very deflated and unmotivated all day. I had so much to do and got nothing done. I usually love to pay bills, it's like a natural high for me. lol I didn't even do that!!
What am I doing wrong??
You are going to have ups & downs along
with the DIGNITY of facing same without
messing with your brain chemistry.You are
lightyears (a distance/not a time!!!) ahead
of those who cannot do that simple thing.
Human beings have had ups and downs for
a very,very long time.I have begun to think
that it one of the more pleasant things about
being human.
Bad days beat the hell out of an infinite
string of hopeless days (addiction).
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Very true Vale!! I have missed your insightful posts. I hope your move went well and the distance gives you some peace and clarity on your painful experience and you left it behind...where it belongs.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Thank you,LMN. My move went very well and I am back home in my sunny
state of California.Putting the entire North American continent between me
and that ghastly situation has given me ALOT of peace and clarity.
No,I will never forget her---nor the price she paid for her addiction......
(her home,marriage,family,and.....for all intents and purposes....her life.)
Between you and me...I WAS tempted to drop by the hellhole that she
calls home now.To say a final goodbye.But she told me once that she HATES
that word.No question as to why that is so.The definition of addiction is
saying goodbye to all the people,times,and things that make life worth living
---and watching all that is good----turn to ash.
But I didn't.I couldn't.Not only would it break no contact---it would be an affront
to her dignity(and mine).My choice is to turn the clock back to Feb/2008---and
remember her warmly as a vibrant and happy lady & Mom who radiated happiness
and joy.
Addiction will not rob me of my memory of her,nor will time erase my gratitude
for the gentle souls of SR who helped me understand and arrest unhealthy patterns of
behavior.
state of California.Putting the entire North American continent between me
and that ghastly situation has given me ALOT of peace and clarity.
No,I will never forget her---nor the price she paid for her addiction......
(her home,marriage,family,and.....for all intents and purposes....her life.)
Between you and me...I WAS tempted to drop by the hellhole that she
calls home now.To say a final goodbye.But she told me once that she HATES
that word.No question as to why that is so.The definition of addiction is
saying goodbye to all the people,times,and things that make life worth living
---and watching all that is good----turn to ash.
But I didn't.I couldn't.Not only would it break no contact---it would be an affront
to her dignity(and mine).My choice is to turn the clock back to Feb/2008---and
remember her warmly as a vibrant and happy lady & Mom who radiated happiness
and joy.
Addiction will not rob me of my memory of her,nor will time erase my gratitude
for the gentle souls of SR who helped me understand and arrest unhealthy patterns of
behavior.
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