whaty

My heroin AS is staying with me for a few days. He has been clean (to my knowledge) for 4+ months and in some ways looks good (weight gain and good hygiene). But, he is not sleeping well, is tossing and turning all night, and he bites his fingernails past the quick and chews on his hands until they bleed. I know it is anxiety and a feeling of helplessness.

I am trying not to watch him like a hawk, but I did lock everything I could in my safe before he got here. "Fool me once......" He doesn't have any minutes on his phone so he hasn't been able to call anyone. He is about to move four hours from me to an SLE and has a job opportunity there, so that's good. I am hoping and praying for a new (clean) beginning for him. He has been hard to love for a long time.

Whaty

SundaysChild

The anxiety, sleeplessness, and tossing and turning indicates that he is not using - if he was high, he'd be happy. When my son was in high school, I could always tell when he was high because he'd end his phone calls with "I love you."

Recovery is tough work - the rest of the body clears the effects of drugs faster than the brain. The stress and anxiety created as the addict brain learns how to operate without being bathed in drugs are real and very uncomfortable for the addict and those with a front row seat.

Good for you for staying out of his business, and good for him for moving into a SLE. This is a tough journey we're on.

Titanic

Sle?

whaty

Sober Living Environment aka Halfway House

Thanks SundaysChild, that is what I needed to hear.

tjp613

Hi Whaty -- I sorta went thru that same thing last week, so I get it. My AS didn't seem overly anxious, but he was having trouble sleeping and was definitely restless. He had memories of jail to keep him moving forward. He's in a great SLE right now and doing well so far. He actually called me yesterday to thank me for the opportunity and said it was the right decision, even though in the days before he was really concerned and nervous about all the rules he would have to follow. (I reminded him that jail was much worse.) He has even signed up to volunteer at a nearby non-profit drug/alcohol education and counseling organization. Two or three months ago I could have never predicted or envisioned anything like this would be happening. When they're ready, they're ready.

It sounds like your AS is on the right track. It must be so incredibly difficult, but he is doing it. Is he attending meetings or getting support from a doctor or therapist?

EJG123

Whaty- The insomnia/anxiety seem to go along with the road to recovery but it won't be forever. He will heal in time if he makes that commitment. Stay strong.

Ilovemysonjj

Hello Whaty, I also agree. My son was very anxious and nervous after he detoxed and was sober for a while. Then the PAWS set in, which brings lots of other symptoms. My son also suffers from depression, so it was even worse for him. Hang in there, sounds like your son is working through it.
Hugs
Teresa

Tinks65

Whaty, hang in there, sounds like he is moving in the right direction. I went through something similar recently. My AS was here for two weeks while waiting to go to a year long program. It was stressful at first but overall I am glad we allowed him to stay. He too had trouble sleeping at first. He has been in his program for a week and a half and is doing well and embracing the program. Prayers for you and your boy.

whaty

He is on Elavil but ran out a couple days ago and didn't tell me so that was not helping. We just got it refilled.

I don't know what to do with him. He is back in bed sleeping now after being restless all night. He does attend NA some but not every night, and he keeps in touch with his old sponsor from when he first started. And I caught him in a lie.

His anxiety causes a lot of stress in the house and I want him out of here so we can get back to normal.

kmangel

It will be better for him and you when he moves out. We parents are not the best living choice for our recovering/addict adult children. I think our kids revert to the child/parent role when they move back in with us. We parents must be tough but it is so hard to be tough. In a SLE your son will have authority figures to answer to and those figures wont have the emotional ties to your son that you do. So, get him into the SLE as soon as you can.

Ann

Another mama just popping in her to offer a hug and a prayer.

Having the front row seat to their addiction or recovery, is still the worst seat in the house.

I hope your boy gets to the Sober Living House soon.

Hugs from one mama to another.

whaty

We got the call today and he is leaving in the morning for the SLE. I am so relieved. This house is very structured with a lot of rules which I worry he will have a problem with, but it is what he needs. And he agrees. I am paying the $100 deposit and his first week rent but then it is ON for him. Fortunately it is in a city with a lot of job opportunities. He doesn't have a car but is within walking distance of a lot of businesses and they help with transportation. Also, it is near the rehab he attended this past month and he will be able to go to their out-patient counseling, where he has already made an appointment.

If you remember my old posts he was originally going to stay and work with an older man he knows but that didn't work out. I think this is better, though. Thanks for all the support and prayers!!!

Whaty

Ann

Wonderful news!! I am happy for you and for him.

I remember the first time my son went to rehab out of town. As I put him on the bus he asked me to promise I wouldn't cry when it drove away. CRY??? I was dancing up and down with glee.

I hope this new opportunity brings him motivation to stay on a good path. It sounds like he will be surrounded by support, the rest is up to him.

hugs

cangel2

All sounds like good news and things moving in a positive direction.....for both you and your son.

My son was visiting last weekend ..... he was sitting at the table and tapping constantly.......was driving me nuts and I just about asked him to stop when it hit me! This is a very very good thing his old restlessness and old way of releasing the energy was back!!!! I smiled and sent up an expresssion of gratitude!!

Schab33

Reading this gives me hope and makes me realize that I just can't tell if my son is using or just hyper anymore. When he is using he is up all night..when he claims he is clean he is up all night ..he is jittery and talks a mile a minute on the phone ..I live far away so all I have to go by is a "tone" in his voice that I do not recognize ...he has never gone to rehab though I will be praying for your son and you

whaty

Got a call from his old roommate (clean and concerned) that he found out one of AS's drug friends was moving down to the same SLE. Coincidence? I think not. Now I am wondering just how serious he is about this. Roommate called friend's mom and she got in touch with house manager and cancelled it. I never knew this guy as he was someone AS hooked up with after I sent him on his way.

It never ends. I told the roommate that I wanted, for MY peace of mind, NO MORE updates or advisories. If he fails, he fails, and there is nothing I can do about it.

GardenMama

Good for you to ask to NOT be contacted! I know how hard that can be.

Ilovemysonjj

Whaty, I cannot remember how old your son is, but I understand. Best to let him figure this all out. It is too much to bear sometimes.
Hugs,
TT

whaty

He is 21 years old and this has been going on for three years. And yes, it is too much to bear. I can't take the ups and downs anymore and I am a much happier person when I am detached. Thanks...