inlovewithyou

I've known my addict 11 years. We where high school sweethearts, went out seperate ways, but would get into contact with eachother every so often. It always went the same way. We would start talking as friends, and he would eventually admit that he still loved me. I too loved him, but was in a loveless marriage with kids in a different state, so I would stop the contact. I eventually got the guts to leave my ex husband. My addict and I started dating right away, and it's like we where never apart. He loves my kids and they love him. After almost a year, he broke up with me. I was devestated. And so where my kids. We've been broken up 2 months now. Recently he finally told me that the reason he broke up with me is because he started using and didn't want to bring me down with him. I completely respect and am thankful for this. But at the same time it is heart breaking. He is in a rehab program right now, his choice. Now he says he loves me but he doesn't want a relationship right now. I agree that he needs to concentrate on his recovery and himself. We talk and text everyday. We write eachother and I even was able to have a visit with him today. I will always be here for him and I love him with all my heart. My question is what should I do to be here for him, but not enable him to use me in the process?

Ann

What helped me and many of us here to keep our balance was to go to meetings and learn how to keep our side of the relationship healthy. Al-anon, Nar-anon and CoDA are three similar fellowships that are about taking care of ourselves, not about our addicted loved ones.

Maybe try a few and see if it doesn't help. And take a read around here, it may help you decide if you want to continue a life of uncertainty and addiction.

Glad you joined us.

Hugs

crazybabie

I agree with Ann, I have nothing to add just wanted to say welcome to SR.

FindingErica

Welcome!

inlovewithyou

Thank you Ann. I will look into those meetings. Maybe I can find something that will work with my full time work and full time student status. It is really important for me to not let his addiction become more of burden on my life then it already is. I also need to work on my own codependency issue.