EH21

I've been in a relationship for about a year now. Everything was going very well for the fist six months or so. Then I got to see another side of him. He has a problem with benzos and whatever else he can get his hands on. We've been through a lot because of it. He actually put his hands on me while he was high once. I should have run then. Nothing ever changes with him. We had very good times when he wasn't using. And then when he was, let's just say I have emotional scars that I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life. I know people don't change. I know at his age (he's 36) he's pretty much who he's going to be. I'm tired of going through this crap while I try to get my life back in order as I'm a recovering alcoholic. I don't understand how at 24 I could figure out that I was going down a bad path and turn my life around and at 36 he can't. Maybe he just doesn't care. Either way I've made my mind up that I'm not going to be with him anymore.
Anyway I was stupid enough to allow him to take care of one of my cats. He really liked the cat and I thought if he could have him in his home it would help. Obviously it hasn't. He's worse now than he's ever been. It may sound stupid but I've been really worried about my cat and it's really starting to stress me out. What if he goes out to smoke and he's too messed up to realize that my cat got out? There's a million things that can go wrong when he's as high as he gets. I just keep thinking I did something wrong and now my cat is going to have to pay for it. I'm definitely taking my cat back but I have to wait till this weekend to do it. And in the mean time I have to pretend that everything is ok and we're still together. Forcing myself to talk to him on the phone makes me want to vomit.

I'm sure that sounded funny or stupid but I had to get it off my chest. Thanks for letting me vent!!!!

kmangel

The cat is a link from him to you, so once you remove the cat from his place that will help to create some distance. Follow what your gut is telling you now. So often we talk ourselves out of what we need to do.

outtolunch

And pretend?

EH21

I work nights and I live an hour and a half away. And he's threatened to take my cat to his friends so I don't know where it's at if I ever try to take it back. So I don't want him to even see it coming.

LuvMySis

EH, worrying about your cat for the next few days is a consequence of your codependent decision to give the cat to your ABH temporarily. As harsh as it sounds, you'll probably have to just stick it out until the weekend when you can get your cat back. And learn from the mistake.