Is it time to leave him?

Reply Subscribe

Page 2 of 2

Thread Tools

08-03-2012, 08:09 AM

# 21 (permalink)

Learn2Live

To thine own self be true.

Join Date: May 2009

Location: U.S.A.

Posts: 5,924

Yes, it is time for you to leave and it is time for you to go to Al-Anon and read "Codependent No More."

08-03-2012, 08:50 AM

# 22 (permalink)

outtolunch

Member

Join Date: Feb 2008

Location: Chicago area

Posts: 4,269

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowCouldYou

Anyways, my conditions for me getting this apartment for us were for him to stop the pills.

You tried to control him and it did not work. It never does.

So how bout some real boundaries to protect you. Examples:

"I will not be in a relationship with someone in active addiction or new to recovery, and

I work hard for my income and will not support free loaders."

08-03-2012, 08:54 AM

# 23 (permalink)

outtolunch

Member

Join Date: Feb 2008

Location: Chicago area

Posts: 4,269

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowCouldYou

I've considered this. I've also considered that it will probably take for him to hit rock bottom to realize he needs to stop these pills and sober up. The thing is though, I don't believe HE realizes that I may be standing between him and his bottom. He just doesn't seem to care. Like when he was living with his friends, there were times when he didn't know if he could stay at their houses, and he acted like he could care less about finding a place to sleep at night. :/

Couch surfing and Hefty bags for luggage are a way of life for many opiate/opioid addicts. Where to sleep is not a priority.

08-03-2012, 08:58 AM

# 24 (permalink)

outtolunch

Member

Join Date: Feb 2008

Location: Chicago area

Posts: 4,269

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowCouldYou

I should've gotten him clean and sober BEFORE moving into the apartment, but the thing is I don't believe he really wants help.

Nothing you say or do will get him clean or cause him to relapse if he gets himself clean. You are not that powerful. None of us are.

You did not cause this.
You cannot control this.
You cannot cure this.

And you also cannot predict his bottom. Just when we think the addicted is approaching bottom, they tend to keep right on digging.

Save youself.

08-14-2012, 08:57 AM

# 25 (permalink)

HowCouldYou

Member

Thread Starter

Join Date: Aug 2012

Posts: 12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Learn2Live

Yes, it is time for you to leave and it is time for you to go to Al-Anon and read "Codependent No More."

Thank you alll sooo sooo much for all your advice, experiences, and kind words. I knew I joined the right forum to get the answers I needed, even though I already knew what had to be done. I'm just currently...really depressed right now to be honest. I feel like every step I take in life is dragging now.

And I will make sure to read "Codependent no more" Thank you.