bluebelle

I stated to him a couple of years ago when he was relapsing that I would not stay with him if he was using. He was very upset by that. I was ready to follow through, but he got with a psych and got clean.

I guess I have a really hard time thinking of other boundaries. I'm also not sure if I'm ready to enforce them because of my financial situation. That makes it especially difficult. I'm not ready to move out financially. Also, I would be heartbroken over our pets. I guess I'd have to split one and he'd take one and I'd take the other, or something. It would be terrible.

LoveMeNow

I understand BlueBelle. Trying to build a future with an addict (even in recovery) is a huge gamble. The odds are against us!

I made a back up plan but using it would be so hard. But staying with an active addict would be much, much, much harder..impossible for me!! Just one day at a time is not a cliché in my life.

My husband's basically told me that me and the kids can not be his motivators to stay clean. Addiction is far too powerful. What???? I just don't think I will ever understand addiction.

Again, I am so sorry for your situation. Thank you for sharing. It is a reminder for me - NOT to become too complacent.

bluebelle

This event really rmeinded me that I need to put the focus back on myself. I started reading Codependent No More (for the 5th time), and realized that I'm not working hard enough of myself. I think there is a part of me that thinks that if I can make him better, than my life will be better. If he does this, then . . . That's the easy thing for me to do. It keeps me from having to put in the effort to make my life better.

crazybabie

I am glad you recognized your not working on you like you should be... Do you have a plan on what your going too do about that?

bluebelle

I don't have a plan. I have been reading the Language of Letting Go daily devotionals each day and have been meditating. Other than that, I haven't come up with a plan.