LabLoverOneSon

My 19 yo son relapsed after 5 months. 14 weeks in/outpatient. Remainder in sober house.

He is back in town getting drunk/high with old playmate who has weapons and scares me.

Have been in Al-anon for months. Most of family plus my marriage lost to SA. Son's father gone since he was 4.

Haven't slept since Thursday at 9am. Numb. Shock. Tears.

Son texted me today. Really nice. Strange. Wonder what his game is. Said I would leave phone on if he contacted me daily. He has no money or car. Thinks all will be fine. Delusional.

Soon, though I know I must back away. Presently baracaded in bedroom with animals and cell. Alarm on. Local police informed. They know how crazy this "pal" is.

New here but willing. Any ideas, etc. welcomed. Prayers and thoughts deeply cherished.

Thank you all.

cangel2

I am sending you positive thoughts!

Are you safe where you are? I know that this is very difficult but please make sure first that you are safe and if not take steps to leave or maybe have someone come and stay with you. Also.....sleep would be a good idea. You need to take care of yourself ..... perhaps turn the phone off and give yourself permission to relax and sleep.

Other than that please know that you are not alone......

Hugs from another Mom here to you.

interrupted

My thoughts and prayers are with you tonight. I'm sorry you have to go through this - you're on the right path, but it's HARD. It's hard for me too.

crazybabie

I know how hard it is when our kids are out there like that I really do I not only had too worry about my oldest AS friends but him as well never knew what he might do he was verbally abusive and has drawn back as if he was going to hit me before a big HUG for you.

I do hope you can get some sleep maybe attend another meeting ASAP.
I am glad you found us yet sorry for the reasons.

hope2be

Hello llos
ive been where you are many times before. Bf i sold my house & moved- lived in my bedroom while the rest of my ACs took up residence in the rest of the house. I felt like prisoner & was in a way. It was all through my own making though & I thank God I had found this site to begin digging out of the maddness. I too am a little frightened of what a person high on drugs can do - even our own which is hard to imagine but very possible.

I will be praying for your safety & that of your son. We Moms still love them & realize their is good in them beneath the effects of drugs. However we owe it to ourselves to stay safe and sane. Remember we all walk hand in hand on this path to recovery

Huggs

Kindeyes

Breathe.........your son relapsed..........it is out of your control. Although his relapse hurts your heart, try not to let it overtake your mind. Now would be a great time to double up on your reading, meetings, and whatever diversion tools you have to take special care of yourself.

Sometimes I find it best (although not easier) to not answer my phone. Like yours, my son has had time in a program and time sober, he now has some tools. But if they don't want to use them there's nothing we can do about it. I have had to turn my son over to his Higher Power and let go. Hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.

Welcome to SR....you aren't in this alone. There are many of us walking this path with you.

gentle hugs
ke

Please take care

octoberrain

llos, I am new here also. Ke has helped me with some great advice as have others.
If you do not feel safe at home is there not somewhere else you can stay for a few days until you feel safe again?
praying for you and your son

LabLoverOneSon

Thank you all so much.

I finally slept. I believe I am safe here but must take precatutions...set alarm, etc. Am going to call alarm company this week and add a couple of sensors. Also, adding another sensor floodlight.

There arent any meetings near me until monday night. Am reading, talking to alanon friends, etc.

He chose this. I must make decisions based on that. Not losing my peace.

Question. He has a throwaway type phone. Told me it runs out in 3 days. I said i wouldnt turn off his cell cause i wanted him to be able to reach me.

Am rethinking that. He unfriended and blocked me..plus other family, family friends yesterday. Can see his page via a friend's facebook. Its awful.

I dont want to do anything to enable him. He says he and crazy pal are getting jobs, apt, etc. as neither have cars, thats hard enough. Without a phone, it will be harder for him to do anything. If he pays his own phone bill, then thats cash he cannot use to buy beer.

Im thinking of sending him a text in a day or so. Saying i love you and will always be here if you want treatment but nothing else. No mention of phone. Then just turning it off.

Going to sell car as soon as i can. Cancel insurance. Will keep his health insurance though but nothing else.

tjp613

Hi LabLover. You and I are in similar positions....but I think I'm a little farther down the road. My 21 year old son is addicted to heroin and has been for the last year. In that year he's been in rehab 3 times and detox 3 times. The last 2 rehabs he was in he had 'buddies' deliver drugs to him and he got kicked out...TWICE...in the span of a month or so. It's like he is possessed by the devil himself. So yeah....he's now lost everything. No phone, no car, no job, no money, nor his he allowed to contact us again until he has 6 months sober. Got a call from the sheriff's office that he's in jail for theft right now and that's the last I've heard. After he gets out I don't suppose we'll be hearing much for a long time....maybe ever? Who knows. It rips at my heart every day...this dull pain in my chest that never quite goes away...but I've learned to put it on a shelf and go on living. I have worked on accepting any an all outcomes. This is the life HE has chosen and so I must allow him to live it. I wish I could save him. I've tried to save him a hundred times... it never worked. I truly am powerless to save him.

So....I don't have any wisdom to share. Just wanted you to know you're not alone. Sometimes that helps. ((((Hugs)))) and welcome to SR.

kmangel

Concerning the phone--and anything else he "needs"--let him figure it out. I bet he won't go without a phone for long or at all--it is how he will keep connected to the people he "needs" to remain connected with.