He relapsed and I'm so confused and lost
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Brooklyn NY
Posts: 156
He relapsed and I'm so confused and lost
It's been a while since I've posted. I've come on here and read some things here and there but now I am back again cause my fiance relapsed and I am in so much pain. One second I'm crying and the next I'm furious and I want to kill him. He relapsed 2 months ago and I knew something was going on but of course he kept denying it until yesterday when I pretty much cornered him with an at home drug test and that's when the truth finally came out.
You guys were there for me when he first went into rehab and now I'm asking for ur support again in coping with his relapse. I'm already making arrangements to get myself and my babies away from him for a little while and take things from there, something I have NEVER done before and it's ripping apart my insides. This has got to be the hardest thing I've ever done cause god knows I still love him with all my soul. I just feel so lost and hurt and angry and scared. I haven't been to a meeting in 2 months and god do I feel it. I just wasn't prepared for this......
You guys were there for me when he first went into rehab and now I'm asking for ur support again in coping with his relapse. I'm already making arrangements to get myself and my babies away from him for a little while and take things from there, something I have NEVER done before and it's ripping apart my insides. This has got to be the hardest thing I've ever done cause god knows I still love him with all my soul. I just feel so lost and hurt and angry and scared. I haven't been to a meeting in 2 months and god do I feel it. I just wasn't prepared for this......
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,913
I am sorry you are dealing with this, Krystal. Yes, get yourself and your babies away so your head can clear. Unfortunately, when dealing with an addict, there is always a danger of relapse. It really is something you need to think hard about, since you are engaged to be married. Are you prepared to tie yourself legally to someone who has drug issues?
I know this is hard, but you are doing the best thing for yourself and your children. Please keep coming back here and reading the stories of others who have been in your position. Post whenever you need to and take care of yourself. We're here to support you.
I know this is hard, but you are doing the best thing for yourself and your children. Please keep coming back here and reading the stories of others who have been in your position. Post whenever you need to and take care of yourself. We're here to support you.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Southeastern MA
Posts: 149
Oh Krystal, I shed a few tears when I read your post. I hadn't seen you on here in a while so I was truly hoping for the best for you and your fiance.
I'm really sorry this has happened, I can imagine your pain. But despite that, you sound strong and in control and you're doing what needs to be done. Please keep us posted on how you are managing. I remember your kindness when I first came here, it has not been forgotten.
(((hugs)))
I'm really sorry this has happened, I can imagine your pain. But despite that, you sound strong and in control and you're doing what needs to be done. Please keep us posted on how you are managing. I remember your kindness when I first came here, it has not been forgotten.
(((hugs)))
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
I so love being lied to; I think I will go out and get me another addict BF.
Sorry Krystal, that this is happening to you. I know how you are feeling. Get as much distance from him as you possibly can. It will help lessen the hurt.
Sorry Krystal, that this is happening to you. I know how you are feeling. Get as much distance from him as you possibly can. It will help lessen the hurt.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Brooklyn NY
Posts: 156
Thank u so much ladies, ur words are very comforting. I'm trying my best to stay strong for my kids and do what's best for them. And I know I really need to think about making a life long commitment to him, there's so much I need to think about.
And thank u hopeful, I hope ur doing well
And thank u hopeful, I hope ur doing well
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Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
Hi Krystal,
I'm sorry for what is happening with you. Addiction is so full of crashed hopes and dreams..... when I was with my ex husband it was always scary to me the threat of relapse.
One thing that helped me was to realize that I didn't have to stop loving someone just because I was able to recognize that being together wasn't good for me. When you take this time - remember that it is one day at a time. That is all you have to do. Please try not to think about anything further down the line than that.
I know you are sad but I hope that you will consider that you are receiving important information that will help you to make the best decisions for you and your children. I wish that I had given it more time with my ex husband to see if sobriety and recovery was a lifestyle that was going to stick. Instead, I went ahead and married him and put myself and my children through some horrid experiences.
Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you....
I'm sorry for what is happening with you. Addiction is so full of crashed hopes and dreams..... when I was with my ex husband it was always scary to me the threat of relapse.
One thing that helped me was to realize that I didn't have to stop loving someone just because I was able to recognize that being together wasn't good for me. When you take this time - remember that it is one day at a time. That is all you have to do. Please try not to think about anything further down the line than that.
I know you are sad but I hope that you will consider that you are receiving important information that will help you to make the best decisions for you and your children. I wish that I had given it more time with my ex husband to see if sobriety and recovery was a lifestyle that was going to stick. Instead, I went ahead and married him and put myself and my children through some horrid experiences.
Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Brooklyn NY
Posts: 156
Thank u so very much lightseeker, that's something I have hard time remembering, to take it ONE DAY AT A TIME. I am constantly trying to tackle all my problems at once. I'm nowhere near ready to marry him, I know I need to put my children first. I lived in a broken home as a child, I do not want that for my babies, they deserve so much more........ U know, while he was in rehab and when he first came home, I was so clear about what my boundaries were and I was firm about them and now I've lost touch with that. I have to find my way back
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Hugs, Krystal
Like lightseeker said One Day at a time, I understand your not wanting your kids having a broken home at the same time I am sure you do not want them growing up in a drug life home. My heart breaks for you. You seem to have a good plan getting away for a bit maybe you can start your meetings back as well.
Like lightseeker said One Day at a time, I understand your not wanting your kids having a broken home at the same time I am sure you do not want them growing up in a drug life home. My heart breaks for you. You seem to have a good plan getting away for a bit maybe you can start your meetings back as well.
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