success story
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 160
success story
Hi, first post here.
I've been with my (R?)AH for twelve years. Our relationship has been punctuated every two years or so by a relapse of the coke addiction he had "gotten over" before we met. I would love to tell you all about the ups and downs, knowing that you all understand where I'm coming from, but if I've been getting the message right, my AH's behaviours aren't the point- the important thing is to look at myself.
I came looking for success stories. Silly me, I thought that meant As who recovered. Thank you for teaching me that success will be my own victory, healing and personal growth, not his.
Who knows what he will do. Will he pay back the $1500, stay clean and be able to parent our amazing children? For their sake, I would like it if he did, but with your help I'm realizing I won't pin my hopes or happiness to that. Thank you so much for reminding me of the strong person I have inside, the one that feels proud, not guilty for sticking to my boundaries. Thank you for teaching me about quacking, and for helping me to embark on a journey to grow out of my own useless and mistaken excuses, behaviours and rationales. Thank you for helping me to not feel stupid for finding myself in this same damn addiction fiasco again and again for more than a decade-reading your posts makes me see I'm not alone and this helps my self esteem immensely. I am gaining the strength to make sure my next decade doesn't feel the same. Thanks to all of you here at SR, I am going to be defining my own success, my own future. Its possible that my AH will earn his way back into my house and our marriage, but with your guidance I'll settle for nothing less than a healthy relationship.
Someday I will be with someone else who will treat me right, who can actually process and share emotions, and who is fully reliable, but thanks to your insights, I have been reminded that I already have a person who fits that description in my life--ME!
I've been with my (R?)AH for twelve years. Our relationship has been punctuated every two years or so by a relapse of the coke addiction he had "gotten over" before we met. I would love to tell you all about the ups and downs, knowing that you all understand where I'm coming from, but if I've been getting the message right, my AH's behaviours aren't the point- the important thing is to look at myself.
I came looking for success stories. Silly me, I thought that meant As who recovered. Thank you for teaching me that success will be my own victory, healing and personal growth, not his.
Who knows what he will do. Will he pay back the $1500, stay clean and be able to parent our amazing children? For their sake, I would like it if he did, but with your help I'm realizing I won't pin my hopes or happiness to that. Thank you so much for reminding me of the strong person I have inside, the one that feels proud, not guilty for sticking to my boundaries. Thank you for teaching me about quacking, and for helping me to embark on a journey to grow out of my own useless and mistaken excuses, behaviours and rationales. Thank you for helping me to not feel stupid for finding myself in this same damn addiction fiasco again and again for more than a decade-reading your posts makes me see I'm not alone and this helps my self esteem immensely. I am gaining the strength to make sure my next decade doesn't feel the same. Thanks to all of you here at SR, I am going to be defining my own success, my own future. Its possible that my AH will earn his way back into my house and our marriage, but with your guidance I'll settle for nothing less than a healthy relationship.
Someday I will be with someone else who will treat me right, who can actually process and share emotions, and who is fully reliable, but thanks to your insights, I have been reminded that I already have a person who fits that description in my life--ME!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Thank you for posting this I am just now beginning to seriously work on me. I have been a yo yo. From all I read here and the few meetings I have attended your post is another reminder to me that I can do this.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
I believe when a person realizes how much they are worthy of love, dignity and respect and are not willing to tolerate unacceptable behaviors for them or their household; When you learn that healthy love allows your loved one to find their own dignity and self-respect to fight their own battles against their disease . . .
that is a success story ~ regardless of what else may happen.
It is the gift of learning to be Happy, Joyous and Free regardless.
Thank you so much for sharing your success story with us and please continue to share your growth as it is such an inspiration to others.
PINK HUGS,
Rita
that is a success story ~ regardless of what else may happen.
It is the gift of learning to be Happy, Joyous and Free regardless.
Thank you so much for sharing your success story with us and please continue to share your growth as it is such an inspiration to others.
PINK HUGS,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Originally Posted by sevenofnine 
Someday I will be with someone else who will treat me right, who can actually process and share emotions, and who is fully reliable, but thanks to your insights, I have been reminded that I already have a person who fits that description in my life--ME!
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