Threats and Fears
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Join Date: Jun 2002
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Threats and Fears
Good trip with sister. Didn't talk with AS till on way home this afternoon. I called to let him know I was turning off the phone he continuously abuses, but would pick up a cheap pay as go for him and he would have to pay monthly. $400 cell bill (4 people on line) is unacceptable - mostly due to his abuse of priviliges.
He told me he needed me to pick up some sudefed and bring it to him. I've done a lot of foolish things, but I do have a line that won't be crossed. Then he asked for a couple of other items which I researched. Doesn't takea a rocket scientist to figure this out. I refused.
His desperation led to multiple messages to me saying he owed money, would be a war, lots of terrible things said. Told me I was being self-righteous and judgemental. Said if I wouldn't do it, to at least get him some bullets. Said it would cost less to get stuff than a funeral would cost.
Later, got a couple of messages saying he tried to tell me. i don't know what is going to happen, but I know that whatever it is, it will be "my fault". Chances are it is all manipulation. I think I can handle it no matter what happens, but I surely don't want to go through it. The fear of waiting is the worst. Perhaps between my return to these posts and seeing a counselor, I can better handle whatever comes.
Think I'll go to bed with ringer off as always and just not think about it for a while. It was so cute at breakfast this morning. I had not mentioned one word to family about what was going on, and my precious little great neice, age 7, said the blessing and said, "God, please take away all my Aunt S's stress." Gotta love her! So perceptive! Pray she never, ever follows that dark path that addiction leads one through.
He told me he needed me to pick up some sudefed and bring it to him. I've done a lot of foolish things, but I do have a line that won't be crossed. Then he asked for a couple of other items which I researched. Doesn't takea a rocket scientist to figure this out. I refused.
His desperation led to multiple messages to me saying he owed money, would be a war, lots of terrible things said. Told me I was being self-righteous and judgemental. Said if I wouldn't do it, to at least get him some bullets. Said it would cost less to get stuff than a funeral would cost.
Later, got a couple of messages saying he tried to tell me. i don't know what is going to happen, but I know that whatever it is, it will be "my fault". Chances are it is all manipulation. I think I can handle it no matter what happens, but I surely don't want to go through it. The fear of waiting is the worst. Perhaps between my return to these posts and seeing a counselor, I can better handle whatever comes.
Think I'll go to bed with ringer off as always and just not think about it for a while. It was so cute at breakfast this morning. I had not mentioned one word to family about what was going on, and my precious little great neice, age 7, said the blessing and said, "God, please take away all my Aunt S's stress." Gotta love her! So perceptive! Pray she never, ever follows that dark path that addiction leads one through.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Washbe, are you sure that your son isn't my son too? I recognize all that manipulation stuff, they must have a handbook somewhere and just pick lines at random.
The thing is, it just gets old, yes? There comes a time where it no longer gives us heart attacks and seizures to hear the terrible things that will befall them...if WE don't do what they ask. That's a good sign when we can turn off the ringer and go to bed instead of staying up all night fretting that something bad might befall our sons. It already has and it's called addiction and there isn't a darn thing we can do about it.
So sweet dreams dear Washbe, sleep well knowing that our prayers are heard and someone much bigger than us has this all covered. Me, my jammies and bunny slippers are just heading off to bed too. I'll say my prayers then turn off the light and sleep like a baby.
Big hugs mama to mama.
The thing is, it just gets old, yes? There comes a time where it no longer gives us heart attacks and seizures to hear the terrible things that will befall them...if WE don't do what they ask. That's a good sign when we can turn off the ringer and go to bed instead of staying up all night fretting that something bad might befall our sons. It already has and it's called addiction and there isn't a darn thing we can do about it.
So sweet dreams dear Washbe, sleep well knowing that our prayers are heard and someone much bigger than us has this all covered. Me, my jammies and bunny slippers are just heading off to bed too. I'll say my prayers then turn off the light and sleep like a baby.
Big hugs mama to mama.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: In the South
Posts: 228
Ann: I was just about to poste to Washbe, "Is it possible that we have the same son?" LOL. And now I see there's 3 of them!!! Triplets, separated at birth, perhaps? I, too, turn off the cell and the ringer on the house phone tonight. So, since I can't sleep yet, I'll share what happened to me today.
Got a call this morning, after I'd turned the ringers back on. It was AS, who had been in route to "somewhere" with his AGF, when she overcorrected making a sharp turn, ran off the road, flipped the car, and hit a tree head on at 55 mph. Totalled the car. Paramedics had to cut them out. AS called me from the back of the ambulance, on the way to the ER. That was the first good sign, he was coherent, alive. Obviously the AGF was in the same ambulance with him because I could hear her mouth going a mile a second. So AS is telling me he's covered in blood from head to toe, nose is broken, collar bone broken, face is numb, neck he said is broken...uhmm, hmm, well, w/e. So we told him we'd come on over. ...But... you know, he sounded to me like he was just too excited, almost to happy that they'd been in an accident? I know, it sounds nuts, but I told my husband, "You know what that means, MRI's and follow up doctor visits, pain pills probably indefinitely". We took our time getting there (I've put in my time in ER's, and had no desire to wait around and listen to my AS's mouth), and by the time we arrived 3 hours later, they had been just about to discharge him, but he'd gotten into a rage and left AMA. Now for HIPAA reasons they couldn't tell me much, but I could infer that he'd demanded pain meds, and his AGF had done the same and when the hospital personnel wouldn't comply, they stormed out.
I did choose to drive my AS back to where he lives. It was a relatively short distance, but a very long ride! To make conversation, I asked if the airbags deployed. He said yes, and somewhat smugly said he was not wearing a seat belt. I gently replied that it was a miracle that they were not killed. And his response was, "I wish we had of been." I didn't even respond to that. I later told my husband that just a couple of years ago, those kinds of remarks would have cut me to the bone, but not anymore.
Got a call this morning, after I'd turned the ringers back on. It was AS, who had been in route to "somewhere" with his AGF, when she overcorrected making a sharp turn, ran off the road, flipped the car, and hit a tree head on at 55 mph. Totalled the car. Paramedics had to cut them out. AS called me from the back of the ambulance, on the way to the ER. That was the first good sign, he was coherent, alive. Obviously the AGF was in the same ambulance with him because I could hear her mouth going a mile a second. So AS is telling me he's covered in blood from head to toe, nose is broken, collar bone broken, face is numb, neck he said is broken...uhmm, hmm, well, w/e. So we told him we'd come on over. ...But... you know, he sounded to me like he was just too excited, almost to happy that they'd been in an accident? I know, it sounds nuts, but I told my husband, "You know what that means, MRI's and follow up doctor visits, pain pills probably indefinitely". We took our time getting there (I've put in my time in ER's, and had no desire to wait around and listen to my AS's mouth), and by the time we arrived 3 hours later, they had been just about to discharge him, but he'd gotten into a rage and left AMA. Now for HIPAA reasons they couldn't tell me much, but I could infer that he'd demanded pain meds, and his AGF had done the same and when the hospital personnel wouldn't comply, they stormed out.
I did choose to drive my AS back to where he lives. It was a relatively short distance, but a very long ride! To make conversation, I asked if the airbags deployed. He said yes, and somewhat smugly said he was not wearing a seat belt. I gently replied that it was a miracle that they were not killed. And his response was, "I wish we had of been." I didn't even respond to that. I later told my husband that just a couple of years ago, those kinds of remarks would have cut me to the bone, but not anymore.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
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My stepson was about the same! Guilt, then desperation, then threats.....whoo boy he was good!
We just finally learned to let it all go. Not answer the calls, not answer the e-mails (but keep them for future reference), not become involved in the drama.
Peace, quiet, a good alarm system.......
We just finally learned to let it all go. Not answer the calls, not answer the e-mails (but keep them for future reference), not become involved in the drama.
Peace, quiet, a good alarm system.......
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Join Date: Jun 2002
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Well, now! Aren't we all just one big happy family!! Y'all are so amazing. How can I be laughing over such similar, sad posts? You know, I do believe they are all related and carry the same genes. Otherwise, how could they be so very much alike?
Maybe we could pool our rescources, buy an island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean (Atlantic too close for me) and invite them to a family reunion (where we don't show up) . Give them a one-way ticket and lots of seeds to live off the land. No phone connections. Just tell them to enjoy their lives with their new-found brothers and sisters!
Do yu ever think they actually harm themselves intentionally just to have an excuse to go to the ER to get pain meds? I wouldn't put anything past my son any longer. Just want to forget the pain in all of us and them. Still got a lot of work to do!
Bless you all!
Maybe we could pool our rescources, buy an island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean (Atlantic too close for me) and invite them to a family reunion (where we don't show up) . Give them a one-way ticket and lots of seeds to live off the land. No phone connections. Just tell them to enjoy their lives with their new-found brothers and sisters!
Do yu ever think they actually harm themselves intentionally just to have an excuse to go to the ER to get pain meds? I wouldn't put anything past my son any longer. Just want to forget the pain in all of us and them. Still got a lot of work to do!
Bless you all!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 598
Originally Posted by washbe2 
Do yu ever think they actually harm themselves intentionally just to have an excuse to go to the ER to get pain meds? I wouldn't put anything past my son any longer.
My son went to the ER "because" of kidney stones. I do think he started out with kidney stones. He got pain meds to help with passing them from an urgent care center, but he kept passing one stone after another (so he told us), and he conned us into a trip to the ER plus multiple doctor visits before we caught on to what he was doing. Fortunately we caught on after nine days of his relapse and not longer.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
If we put all our kids together on an island, who would they lie to??? 
My son once told me that he broke his leg and needed money for the cast...we live in Canada where casts and medical care don't cost anything. He said he needed a "special cast" and could I transfer money to his account (he lived out of town at the time). I didn't do it and it's a good thing because two days later his broken leg was healed completely and he had no limp at all...IT'S A MIRACLE I SAY!!!
My son once told me that he broke his leg and needed money for the cast...we live in Canada where casts and medical care don't cost anything. He said he needed a "special cast" and could I transfer money to his account (he lived out of town at the time). I didn't do it and it's a good thing because two days later his broken leg was healed completely and he had no limp at all...IT'S A MIRACLE I SAY!!!
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by washbe2
Do yu ever think they actually harm themselves intentionally just to have an excuse to go to the ER to get pain meds?
And some addicts will hit multiple ERs in a day.
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Join Date: Jun 2002
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Originally Posted by Ann
If we put all our kids together on an island, who would they lie to???
Hahaha. Guess there would be be a contest on who could out-lie everyone else, or they could (but not likely) learn to tell the truth.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: In the South
Posts: 228
Washbe2, at least we're healthy enough that we CAN laugh at this!!! And yes, my AS just loves going to the ER! His former AGF even had a favorite ER (a connoisseur of ER's?) where most of the doctor's would just 'give you what you asked for', or so she proportedly said. My AS has been to the ER way more times that I can count. Once, about 2 years ago I got a call from him that he was in "xyz ER" ... according to him, he and a friend had walked across the street to a kangaroo station, and on the way back he decided to jump over a bush. So he tried, missed, landed flat on the pavement and busted his teeth, friend called the ambulance. Now I know it had to have hurt, but at the same time, my son at the time was 24 years old, 6 ft. 2, and why on earth would he decide to run and jump over a bush? I swear, I think he was trying to break something, an arm, leg, I just don't think he counted on breaking his teeth! Well, I didn't drop everything and rush to the ER, because I knew this routine all too well. I finished work, and a few hours later I strolled on over. As usual, he was in a rage because they were not pumping him full of pain killers, yelling and screaming and cursing at the medical personnel. Um yeah, that always works. Not! So I quitely walked out and went home without him.
What an interesting emperiment that would be, putting them all together on a deserted island, with no way off. All new addicts could be sent there. Maybe we could pool our resources and buy an island somewhere? I wish England hadn't taken Australia already in the 1700's, that would have been the perfect location!
What an interesting emperiment that would be, putting them all together on a deserted island, with no way off. All new addicts could be sent there. Maybe we could pool our resources and buy an island somewhere? I wish England hadn't taken Australia already in the 1700's, that would have been the perfect location!
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 59
It's amazing how creative our loved ones get when the desperation kicks in... I got a letter from my son a couple of weeks ago from jail. He was blaming me for his being in there, kept talking about how he was going to be raped by the bigger guys, how he didn't belong in there, he was going to get clean, etc... Then, begged me to convince the state to drop the charges and he promised never to do drugs again... (he and his friends burglarized my home so they could get oxys, so naturally I called the police and they caught him).
I responded back short and sweet that I could think of no better place for him to be at this juncture in his life.
I responded back short and sweet that I could think of no better place for him to be at this juncture in his life.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: In the South
Posts: 228
This place is great! My AS called me from jail one (of many) time, via a three-way call (I learned a long time ago to block those collect jail calls), and demanded that I call the jail and speak to the medical department so he could be moved from a top bunk to a bottom bunk!!! My response was, "Whaaaaattt??" I went on to explain to him that 'Mama doesn't have a majic wand, nor do I have any influence or control over anyone or anything at the jail, and I can't make the bad ole corrections officers switch your bunk! Sheesh! "
One hard part is, annoying as they are, our ALO's can be loveable at times. My AS did buy me a majic wand for Christmas that following year, and said, "Now you do!" LOL
One hard part is, annoying as they are, our ALO's can be loveable at times. My AS did buy me a majic wand for Christmas that following year, and said, "Now you do!" LOL
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