SarahBear

Say, if the cops pulls over friend who is a heroin user and has drug paraphernalia in the car, how much trouble can I get into even when I don't do drugs? I have distanced myself from him as he made a comment about blaming me that they are my drugs if we were pulled over.

dollydo

:horse...yet again!

Kindeyes

Sarahbear
It wouldn't be reasonable to think this person is kidding. In order to save themselves, an addict can and will throw someone else to the wolves. What's the risk? A criminal record. Jail. Attorney. Is it worth it? Only you can decide. But I hope you take responsibility for putting yourself in a position where this could play out.
gentle hugs
ke

SarahBear

The majority of my friends aren't drug users. I haven't been associating with them as much lately. Just letting the friendships fade out like an old song that is rarely heard on the radio anymore.

thequest

I figure sooner or later it would be best to start distancing yourself from friends that do drugs. I would tell them why. Casual at first then flatout tell them you want no parts of their illegal activities. Ive heard stories of a sober driver struggling to convince police they knowingly had nothing to do with their friends illegal drugs.

Are they really your friend putting you in the cross hairs of the law?

outtolunch

1. There was an 18 year old girl within our community who was charged with heroin posession with the intent to sell because she was in the car with the wrong people at the wrong time.The whole ordeal frequently made the local papers. It took more than a year for charges to be dropped.

2. 19 year old guy and a girl were arrested. They found heroin under the front seat. Girl say it was his and he said it was her dope. They impounded his car. A yeaar and much publicity later, the charges against him were dropped.

Both lost their jobs during this period and were unable to find other employment.

Associating with people who do drugs has consequences.

SarahBear

I've tried setting boundaries, he doesn't listen.

That's so sad.

outtolunch

Boundaries begin with "I will/will not". A boundary is only as good as our own willingness to take responsibility for it and does not require other people to comply with it.

Attempts to control other people usually begin with " you will/ will not". Attempts to control other people fail.

"I will not sit or ride in a car with a drug addict" is a boundary. It does not seek to control the addict. Taking responsibility for the boundary is as simple as refusing to get into the car.

YearForMe

If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

Or...hanging out with undesirables leads to having a grandson with a dog collar. Don't have a grandson with a dog collar.

SarahBear

Medically, I cannot have children if that's what you're trying to say. I was born with no ovaries.

greebobeebo

Do you want to die?

suki44883

Sarah, what that means is...if you continue to hang around addicts, it's only a matter of time before it causes a problem in your own life. And yes, dear, you can get into some serious trouble riding in a car with drug paraphenalia. If they have threatened to say you were involved, then why on earth would you ever put yourself in that position?? You don't have to phase these people from your life; drop them like a freaking hot potato!

Chino

Is that part of why you settle for addict friends with benefits? Have you received any therapy or treatment for ovarian agenesis?

YearForMe

The dog collar reference was to a funny commercial that goes thru step by step what happens if you make bad decisions.

It is for DirecTv (satellite)....sorry...wasn't thinking...you are not in the U.S.
Here is the link to YouTube if you want to watch it.

DIRECTV - "Don't Have a Grandson with a Dog Collar" 2012 Commercial - YouTube

SarahBear

Never have. not planning on having kids now.

Chino

I'm sorry to hear that, Sarah. It appears that most women's lives improve drastically with treatment and therapy, regardless of a desire to have children or not. There also appear to be possible serious long term considerations by not receiving treatment and therapy.

I wish you all the best and hope you'll reconsider.

KuanYin

That's an awesome commercial!

thequest

One of the things to keep in mind when dealing with the law & police is that your case won't get the attention you think it deserves. It's not like tv with the overly conscientous zealot hero type out for justice. Your case is just one of many cases for the police and law. Even the lawyer you might have to hire will treat your case the same.

What is legal and what is actually practiced are two completely different things. Long story short avoid trouble BEFORE it happens because trying to straighten it out after the fact will be even harder. The fact that you even have to think about the legal ramifications of your friends behavior is a big red flag.

Ann

If you were in the car and he blamed you and the police could not discern who really owned it, you would both be charged, possibly lose the car, go to jail and be charged and then have a blot on your record that will follow you all of your life.

Is he worth it? Are you?

Find some new friends, girl, before your new friends are behind bars...with you as a roommate.

Hugs

EJG123

What Ann said.

I have had qualms about riding with my AD. I have only done it on occasion because I have an excellent reputation for being an upstanding citizen, can prove I've supported her treatment, personally know members of our police force who are familiar with AD's issues, and probably still wouldn't be much affected even if I was wrongfully prosecuted since I am retired and financially secure. Still it would be a hassle for me and I bet they would take the my car for evidence.

For a young person, it would be a terrible idea. I do not allow AD's brother to drive her around or travel with her.