sunshineandrain

So today my boyfriend is going to rehab!!I am sort of sad, relieved, proud, and happy all at once.

Here's some background: When I first met my boyfriend I was going through a lot. I believe that I was going through a manic episode, later I was diagnosed as bipolar. The first time we met we went to a hookah bar. The second time we met we clubbed. He had just gotten out of the hospital a month before. He was admitted for bipolar and depression and had been in and out of hospitals and rehabs throughout his life. At the beginning of our relationship, I did not take his drug problem very seriously. I myself was indulging in drugs on a quite consistent basis. I smoked weed at least once a week for the past few months and started drinking underage more and more. I was wreckless and a wreck before and even during the beginning of our relationship. During the first few months of our relationship we regularly did drugs together. He introduced me to ecstasy, pills, and online research chemicals. We have done synthetic weed and MDPV together also. He used to also deal pot until he got arrested. Luckily, he didn't have to go to jail but it scared him straight for a little bit. I'm not ashamed of him getting arrested I feel partly at fault because we both needed the money really badly even though obviously it was not the best way to go about it. His parents talked about his drug problem to me but I always thought they were exaggerating. They are not the best parents. However, over time I started to indulge less and less with drugs and alcohol because it was ruining my relationship. I also had a breakdown along with putting my job and school in jeopardy. Things especially changed when we moved to a new apartment and we got less financial support from other people. However, the idea that my boyfriend was a drug addict become more and more evident when i realized he couldn't make the same changes. Drugs were his hobby. He would constantly look up drug information online and even learned about making drugs. He said drugs were the only thing that made him happy besides me. Yet he would also leave me constantly at home to do drugs. This frustrated me because I seemed to get over drugs easily yet he had a much harder childhood than I did and started doing drugs at 16 after being hit with depression that never really left him at 14. He also was diagnosed as schizophrenic and schizophrenics tend to abuse drugs more than others. We recently moved back to our respective homes and he got even worse. He then ended up moving in with a recovering heroin addict and they both began using heroin. He even used needles and I told him early on the relationship that that along with crack was a dealbreaker. He used clean needles, thank God. He also started calling drug dealers behind my back. However, I decided to forgive him. He is one of the best people I know and has always supported me, besides all of his drug issues. He's dealt with my bipolar and I want to help him thrive also. For awhile our relationship was really damaged and we were distanced from each other. Yet, we recently have been doing better since he has decided to go to rehab due to his mom and my insistence. He has just completed detox and tonight he finally got a bed at rehab. I know that even though he has messed up in the past he is a good person with a great heart and I believe in him. I am so proud of him. I just hope that everything goes well. Does anyone have any advice for coping while their significant other is in rehab? Also, what should I expect when he comes back? Is there any special precautions I should take? Would anyone recommend any reading or ways to understand what he went through (with his addiction) to get through any lingering resentment? Thanks guys!! Good luck to you all and your loved ones!! <3

outtolunch

Sounds like a reasonable boundary under the circumstances. When we create boundaries like not associating with people who shoot heroin and smoke crack, we let go of the outcome. The other party is free to do as they choose and we remove ourselves from the situaton.


Consider giving him the gift of dignity to work his own recovery or not. He is likely better off in a sober living envirnment post rehab than back home.

Ann

I hope you both find ongoing recovery. The alternative is a life of self-destruction.

I hope his rehab helps him. Maybe this would be a good time for you to find some meetings and support for yourself as well.

Hugs

sunshineandrain

For the record, I don't do drugs anymore and barely drink and plan to be completely sober once he comes back. I'm intent on providing him with a sober environment and am the last person that wants him to relapse. Ann, I most definitely agree.