Tyler312

I found some unidentified white powder on the rim of my toilet, beneath the seat.

Is there any way I can identify what it is, outside of using it as a drug or doing anything with authorities? It is powdery, but abrasive feeling. It doesn't feel or smell like baby powder.

This is important... have been having serious problems with AW but never with white powder. This is blowing my mind.

-Tyler

Tyler312

Heh... good call, but I don't think so. It is actually more powdery and not really abrasive at all. So more like baby powder or flour, but without those aromas.

Also, some stuff happened in the last few days which is why my mind is racing and jumping to conclusions. An acquaintance of hers is likely using heroin. She has been over at least once in the last two days, so it could be hers.

But with AW's behavior lately and especially with that new acquaintance possibly influencing her, I am on guard. Whenever the subject of the friend and heroin comes up, she is quick to say "I've never and will never do that" which is usually a red flag for me. Rapid denial before I even begin to suspect...

Freedom1990

Makes no sense to me that where the powder is would indicate drugs of any sort.

Tyler312

Perhaps I am jumping to conclusions.

Like I said, the issues with the friend and other behaviors have me going down this path.

That, and outside of bathroom cleaner (pretty sure it isn't that), I don't know what it would be. It is sprinkled on the rim and a little on the floor so I assumed if it were drugs, it was flushed or used in there so no one would see.

-Tyler

JustAYak

Heroin varies in color. In a powder form it can be anywhere from white (pure) to brown (more impurities). Depending on where you live, it'll be white, off-white, or brown (east, midwest, or western states). In a solid form its black. I don't know how it would have gotten beneath the seat, but I know that it could be in the bathroom because she could shoot up or snort or whatever in the private there.

You cannot know that she is doing heroin off of that, considering you cannot for sure say what the powder is. It's a possibility, sure, except its kinda far fetched that it would have gotten beneath the seat... The pure form of heroin (white) also costs a lot of money.

Good luck, but don't worry yourself about things you're probably not going to be able to figure out the absolute answer to. That'll drive you crazy faster than your A.

Edit: My dad was a heroin addict is case you're wondering why I know so much about it, haha.

suki44883

Tyler, do you attend nar-anon meetings? They can be very helpful in that they'll help you learn to keep your focus on you and not your addict. You'll drive yourself crazy anticipating what this or that could be and whether or not your wife is using. The powder on the toilet seat sound innocuous to me, but it's just an example of how we can let our imaginations run away with us while living with an addict.

Tyler312

Well, I am in the process of defining some very clear boundaries. So at the very least this will help me define them. She already told me she has no intention of hanging out with her girlfriend anymore so I will definitely hold her to that (from an accountability perspective... if you get into that drama, I will leave).

(sorry if I phrased the boundary wrong, hopefully you get my intent)

Tyler312

I don't but probably should.

I understand the concepts of focusing on what I can control, rather than what I cannot control. I was mostly just curious if I could easily find out what the powder is, but am not going to focus on it much longer.

On that note, I get my insight about that from this book: A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy. A lot of the concepts overlap with what I read on SR.

Freedom1990

Again, it makes no sense to me because of where the powder is.

Seriously, face-to-face support at Alanon or Naranon is such a valuable resource.

suki44883

Reading material can be of help, but it doesn't compare to the face-to-face support you'll get in meetings. You need the experience, strength and hope that you will find there. You can't ask questions to a book or address issues specific to your situation. In face-to-face support groups, you can. I hope you'll consider finding and attending a meeting in your area.

Tyler312

Wasn't checking for anything, just happened to see it

Freedom1990

When I read down through threads like this, I am incredibly grateful that I no longer live with the insanity of active addiction/alcoholism in my home.

We all have choices in our lives.

My choice has been to ban my AD from my home, even for visits.

It's such a peaceful existence, and I wouldn't trade it for all the gold in the world.

There is something in your marriage that is still paying off for you, Tyler. I don't know what it is, but it's there.

Sometimes the dysfunction is like a tattered blanket that we drag around, refusing to let go because it is familiar, it is comfortable.

You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain by participating actively in a 12 step program like Naranon.

Give it a try.

loveforhorses

Tyler you asked about a test for it. I don't believe that you can get any type of substance test like that without getting it from the authorities. You might be able to search online and see if you can find one.

That said one the floor could be drugs that fell, but on and under the toilet seat... someone would have to be really careless with their drugs or it is something else completely. I haven't heard of anyone doing drugs off the seat. while seating on the toilet yes but not on it.

I wish I could help you more, but take care of you.

outtolunch

I resembled this, back when. Let's not confuse this with being up to my pits in the duct work. It was like a scene out of "I Love Lucy" gone Codie.

outtolunch

Now Ethel......