Do i stay or save myself?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 6
Do i stay or save myself?
Hello everyone,
My names courtney and im 22. I've never really posted to a forum before but i just don't know where else to look and i would love some insight on how to work through my current situation. I am a recovering addict and about a month ago my now ex pretty much broke it off with me (well..said she needed space and i know what that means..). A week before we were looking at places to move into together and i just thought that she was the one. So after that happened i hit rock bottom and had pretty much been the living dead for a few weeks. Well after living like that i got sick of it and for the first time in a long time i wanted to get better and work on myself and my own happiness. i realized that it wasnt the end of the world and for a few days i've been keeping myself occupied and doing great. Well this afternoon i got a call from my now ex and she hadn't called in weeks so of course i was happy and a little piece of me was ready for her to just take me back because i feel like i have made a change for the better but she sounded different. I asked her if she had used because we were both recovering addicts (her a coke addict and me a marijuana addict) and she said she didnt do coke.."just heroin"...now i dont know how to feel. I never wanted to be completely out of her life because i do love and care for her so much, we've been through alot but i know that if i stick around i risk getting hurt and falling back into addiction heavily. But i feel so selfish for wanting to walk away from it because while we were together i did drugs behind her back but her leaving made me realize i needed to straighten up because i had lost what i thought was the love of my life...now she is back and on drugs and i dont want to do that anymore. Do i continue to answer her phone calls and be there or just clean my hands of it and save myself?
My names courtney and im 22. I've never really posted to a forum before but i just don't know where else to look and i would love some insight on how to work through my current situation. I am a recovering addict and about a month ago my now ex pretty much broke it off with me (well..said she needed space and i know what that means..). A week before we were looking at places to move into together and i just thought that she was the one. So after that happened i hit rock bottom and had pretty much been the living dead for a few weeks. Well after living like that i got sick of it and for the first time in a long time i wanted to get better and work on myself and my own happiness. i realized that it wasnt the end of the world and for a few days i've been keeping myself occupied and doing great. Well this afternoon i got a call from my now ex and she hadn't called in weeks so of course i was happy and a little piece of me was ready for her to just take me back because i feel like i have made a change for the better but she sounded different. I asked her if she had used because we were both recovering addicts (her a coke addict and me a marijuana addict) and she said she didnt do coke.."just heroin"...now i dont know how to feel. I never wanted to be completely out of her life because i do love and care for her so much, we've been through alot but i know that if i stick around i risk getting hurt and falling back into addiction heavily. But i feel so selfish for wanting to walk away from it because while we were together i did drugs behind her back but her leaving made me realize i needed to straighten up because i had lost what i thought was the love of my life...now she is back and on drugs and i dont want to do that anymore. Do i continue to answer her phone calls and be there or just clean my hands of it and save myself?
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,994
Save yourself. She's not ready, but it sounds like you are. You can't do anything for her and you risk falling back into your old patterns if you get back with her. The best thing for YOU is to block her from your phone, email or any other communication device.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
My serenity is more important to me than anything......even more important to me than my addict's (son) recovery. To some that may sound selfish but knowing what I know now, I believe it's much healthier than where I use to be.
Welcome to SR.........this is a great site for the recovering addict/alcoholic and for friends and families of addicts/alcoholics.
gentle hugs
ke
Welcome to SR.........this is a great site for the recovering addict/alcoholic and for friends and families of addicts/alcoholics.
gentle hugs
ke
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