Honestly, I'm falling to pieces...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: In the Heart of Dixie
Posts: 128
Honestly, I'm falling to pieces...
Im in my 6th year of life with an addict, for some reason which I think is my AD's baby, I'm falling to pieces more than normal. I have truly not given her money, let them "move" in for a couple of weeks and it has been one of the hardest things I think I have ever dealt with in the past. I didn't think I had the strength. I tried to explain to her that I didnt want to raise her daughter but until they got jobs that I thought it would be best for me to take her and them get it together. Im trying so hard...Im having her cell phone disconnected when her contract neds with is May 17. I just can't afford it anymore. I had to buy a new used car so now I have a car payment and it just seems logical that since the husbands mom pays his bill that since they are always together, they don't need 2. I can't figure out how im doing this, usually I would never have turned her away????!!!!!! It pisses me off that when I was 22 that she was 3 years old and I was working and keeping a roof over her head with no child support and here they are just sitting around doing nothing but taking up good air expecting evryone else to do this for them!!!!! My ad was too lazy to go sign up for WIC for formula that I have been buying it until a few weks ago and the baby is 6 months old!!!! Im just furious!!!!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It is hard to detach from an addict child when a grandchild is in the picture.
Giving more than you can afford is not the answer and will only drag you down with her. I know because I did that for years and after paying thousands and thousands of dollars trying to "help", I realized I was simply financing my son's use of drugs...and so I stopped.
If the baby is in jeopardy, it may be best to get Child Protective Services involved, or see a lawyer and find out what your rights as a grandmother are to keep the child safe.
I know it is hard to be you, I've been there and know the pain of watching someone we love destroy themselves. But allowing them to destroy us too us not the answer.
My thoughts are to take the phone away, even if you have to pay for it until later this month. And keep your money for important things like food and shelter for yourself.
Hugs
Giving more than you can afford is not the answer and will only drag you down with her. I know because I did that for years and after paying thousands and thousands of dollars trying to "help", I realized I was simply financing my son's use of drugs...and so I stopped.
If the baby is in jeopardy, it may be best to get Child Protective Services involved, or see a lawyer and find out what your rights as a grandmother are to keep the child safe.
I know it is hard to be you, I've been there and know the pain of watching someone we love destroy themselves. But allowing them to destroy us too us not the answer.
My thoughts are to take the phone away, even if you have to pay for it until later this month. And keep your money for important things like food and shelter for yourself.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Oh I just want go give you a hug......you are dealing with something that is so very difficult! We can let go of the addict when we finally reach that point but when there is a baby involved........
Once you stop paying for things, you may find that some of the resentment subsides. It doesn't make sense for you to jeopardize your own financial stability for someone who won't do what they need to do to survive.
You're in a really tough spot but there are some steps that you can take now to begin heading toward serenity. They may be baby steps but they are steps moving forward nonetheless.
You, your daughter and your grandchild will be in my prayers today.
gentle hugs
ke
Once you stop paying for things, you may find that some of the resentment subsides. It doesn't make sense for you to jeopardize your own financial stability for someone who won't do what they need to do to survive.
You're in a really tough spot but there are some steps that you can take now to begin heading toward serenity. They may be baby steps but they are steps moving forward nonetheless.
You, your daughter and your grandchild will be in my prayers today.
gentle hugs
ke
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
(((obsessed)))
I also have grandson issues. He is two years old.
As I see it, the issue lies with doing what is best for our grandchildren.
You're doing the best you can, but it is SO frustrating when you can see what needs to be accomplished, and nothing is moving in that direction.
Perhaps a time limit and they have to vacate your home.
Is it at all possible for you to keep the granddaughter if they should move, or until they are moving in a positive direction?
Once grandchildren are involved, it changes the whole picture. But then again, we have to keep in mind, they are not our children to raise, unless they are in unsafe conditions.
Hugs from one grandma to another........
I also have grandson issues. He is two years old.
As I see it, the issue lies with doing what is best for our grandchildren.
You're doing the best you can, but it is SO frustrating when you can see what needs to be accomplished, and nothing is moving in that direction.
Perhaps a time limit and they have to vacate your home.
Is it at all possible for you to keep the granddaughter if they should move, or until they are moving in a positive direction?
Once grandchildren are involved, it changes the whole picture. But then again, we have to keep in mind, they are not our children to raise, unless they are in unsafe conditions.
Hugs from one grandma to another........
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Okay, obviously, I am not focused this a.m. LOL
But I think I have it now.
You were right in calling CPS, no matter what anyone says, even your mother.
We're talking about the safety of a 6 month old baby.
It get so difficult once children are involved, my heart hurts for you.
BUT, I do think your daughter will be calling you soon, especially if you gave her assistance for the baby.
Hugs....
Sorry about the other confusing posts. Yeegads.
But I think I have it now.
You were right in calling CPS, no matter what anyone says, even your mother.
We're talking about the safety of a 6 month old baby.
It get so difficult once children are involved, my heart hurts for you.
BUT, I do think your daughter will be calling you soon, especially if you gave her assistance for the baby.
Hugs....
Sorry about the other confusing posts. Yeegads.
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