CanfixONLYme

My AH is in treatment (a month last week) and he's there until July.

During every conversation we've had thus far this week, he's said how much he misses me and how much he can't wait to come home. He then goes on to 'making plans' about what is going to happen when he does come back and I HATE IT SO MUCH!!!

Why? Because he's talking talking talking... and that's what he did numerous times before - always TALKS about what he wants to do in the future (very good stuff) but then in a different conversation, it's like he never said these other plans and TALKS about brand new (good stuff).

1st conversation: He's worried 4 months isn't enough time and is okay with me selling his motorcycle to pay for further treatment if necessary

2nd conversation: he can't wait to get back to work / and looking forward to riding his motorcycle again...

3rd conversation: he's thinking about going to bible college after treatment and is open to selling his bike...

We were chatting Mondays and Fridays but now he said he wants to chat with me every day. That he misses me so much.

I finally got angry (but was controlled) and said that all this talk of him missing home was really stressing me out and making me feel sick. That I DON'T WANT HIM HOME RIGHT NOW and that he's starting to obsess about that instead of focusing on his treatment.

I said that he's changing his mind constantly about stuff and I just don't want to hear his "CHATTER" - It's fu*king driving me bananas. --- This type of 'talk' always leads to nowhere good. Almost every single time he's focused on one thing, he's neglected doing what he needs to do: get better.

I'm at wits end here. I don't know what else to say to him. I love him and have promised he can come home in July WHEN he's done treatment but not before then - but can't take his 'chatter' any longer.

Is this "NORMAL" for addicts to do this kind of thing? To just TALK about stuff and never follow through with it. Then, when they are frustrated, bored or just 'whatever' throw a hissy fit??

I haven't been to an ALANON or NARANON meeting in a few months. I know I need to go to one so I'm going to make an effort tomorrow eve after school.

It's gotten to the point where I'm having yelling matches with myself (pretending he's in the room) and just saying everything and anything that is pissing me off. Of course, I don't project this when we do talk, but if he talks about 'home' one more time, I think I'll scream.

suki44883

Tell him you need some time without talking to him, then take it. He's in good hands and you deserve to have a period of time where you can just be. Have days where you don't have to do anything except take care of you. You deserve it.

outtolunch

If I recall, he was diagnosed bipolar and was knee deep into crack. Not sure if it's a chicken or egg thing.

The talk-talk-talk is common to both bipolar and crack addiction.

It's also rather child like as in " I want to be a fireman" and and hour later "I want to be president".

He may or may not change/grow up.

Can you tune it out as one might a small child and pay attention to your own experiences and needs?

CanfixONLYme

Thanks both of you I will take some time for me, go to a meeting ( or five ) and tune the chatter out. Yes crack and bipolar are horrible on their own and a mess when mixed.

Hugs to all,