Goodbye false promises, goodbye my love
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 8
Goodbye false promises, goodbye my love
I did it. Am I a mess? – of course. I just left the one person that I loved more than anyone. I just left the one person I turned to every day. I could really use some support right now.
I finally decided I am done waiting for phone calls, im done hearing false promises and im over crying myself to sleep every night. I wish he could care- I wish he would want to care but I cant make that decision for him. He needs to realize that his actions have consequences and he needs to realize that I am not going to sit here and wait for him to come to me.
I wish him all the best I truly do and I want nothing more for him then to be healthy and sober. Honestly- what I truly want is nothing more than to be with him. But I need to stand my ground and I need to be strong. He needs to learn that he cant get away with treating people poorly and he needs to learn to deal with people despite his addiction. I need to learn I deserve a heck of a lot better and that I need to stop settling.
What will I do if he comes back? Honestly I don’t know. And to be completely honest (which feels so good), I do wish he comes back. And I know those of u reading are probably cringing. But heck- I just left him and I am a complete wreck. I know with time ill get stronger and ill get over everything. But for right now it feels so good to cry my eyes out.
Its hard to leave someone you care about so much… its hard to deal with addiction too. All of this is so difficult and sometimes, just like now, I want to scream. But instead- I write because it feels good to get everything out and to know that other people are going through and feeling exactly what im feeling.
“I will always love him, I just wont love the way he treated me.”
I finally decided I am done waiting for phone calls, im done hearing false promises and im over crying myself to sleep every night. I wish he could care- I wish he would want to care but I cant make that decision for him. He needs to realize that his actions have consequences and he needs to realize that I am not going to sit here and wait for him to come to me.
I wish him all the best I truly do and I want nothing more for him then to be healthy and sober. Honestly- what I truly want is nothing more than to be with him. But I need to stand my ground and I need to be strong. He needs to learn that he cant get away with treating people poorly and he needs to learn to deal with people despite his addiction. I need to learn I deserve a heck of a lot better and that I need to stop settling.
What will I do if he comes back? Honestly I don’t know. And to be completely honest (which feels so good), I do wish he comes back. And I know those of u reading are probably cringing. But heck- I just left him and I am a complete wreck. I know with time ill get stronger and ill get over everything. But for right now it feels so good to cry my eyes out.
Its hard to leave someone you care about so much… its hard to deal with addiction too. All of this is so difficult and sometimes, just like now, I want to scream. But instead- I write because it feels good to get everything out and to know that other people are going through and feeling exactly what im feeling.
“I will always love him, I just wont love the way he treated me.”
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I'm sorry you are going through this sadness right now, but proud of you for walking away from trouble.
Meetings helped many of us find our balance again and strength to make it through the tough days. Maybe find some meetings in your area and begin your healing surrounded by support.
Just know we are walking with you through these difficult days.
Hugs
Meetings helped many of us find our balance again and strength to make it through the tough days. Maybe find some meetings in your area and begin your healing surrounded by support.
Just know we are walking with you through these difficult days.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Ocean))) - I left one A, only to find 2 more after him. I also developed my own addiction, during that time, because I didn't want to deal with the pain. I didn't want to accept that I had a part in our dysfunctional relationship...I kept taking him back. I taught him how to treat me...basically, that whatever he did, I would accept.
I don't go to meetings, but I do spend a lot of time on SR and talking to people who are in recovery - both from addictions and codependency. To me, codie-ness is a lot like addiction. Yep, I could put down the dope (or him) for a while, but I couldn't figure out how to not pick it back up (let him come back). It took time, well spent, with others who had gone through, or were still going through similar things for me to even start believing I do deserve better.
Yes, I would highly recommend keep going to meetings, keep posting/reading here, and working on you. Most of us don't even know how to do that, in the beginning. All we feel is pain, and we want it to go away. However, I think I've learned the most valuable lessons in my life, thanks to the pain.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I don't go to meetings, but I do spend a lot of time on SR and talking to people who are in recovery - both from addictions and codependency. To me, codie-ness is a lot like addiction. Yep, I could put down the dope (or him) for a while, but I couldn't figure out how to not pick it back up (let him come back). It took time, well spent, with others who had gone through, or were still going through similar things for me to even start believing I do deserve better.
Yes, I would highly recommend keep going to meetings, keep posting/reading here, and working on you. Most of us don't even know how to do that, in the beginning. All we feel is pain, and we want it to go away. However, I think I've learned the most valuable lessons in my life, thanks to the pain.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
I am sorry to hear you are having such a hardtime right now, I know it is a mix of emotions. Just remember that you haven't decided to leave for no good reason. He is just not changing anything, so you became strong and as hard as it was you knew inside you are doing the best think for you. Try to stop racing with any idea's or thoughts, it will drive you down. All you need to do is live for today or for the minute...and always know we are here for you.
Rose
Rose
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 44
How great that you have come to a point where you have had enough.I didn't make the choice to leave like you. My exab left me. And looking back I don't know if I would have been strong enough to leave. So I really admire you choose to leave. Although it hurts like heck now I'm sure it's a whole lot easier not to have to deal with the broken promises, lies and crying all the time. I myself was a wreck when I was dealing with his erratic behaivor. I couldn't even function.
It is hard to leave someone you love and even harder to deal with addiction with a loved one. Addiction hurts the people who care about the addict. The road is going to be long and hard. Some days will be harder than others. Posting and reading others posts will help you a whole lot. I'm sure your life will be better without the chaos.
Good luck with everything and know you are not alone.
It is hard to leave someone you love and even harder to deal with addiction with a loved one. Addiction hurts the people who care about the addict. The road is going to be long and hard. Some days will be harder than others. Posting and reading others posts will help you a whole lot. I'm sure your life will be better without the chaos.
Good luck with everything and know you are not alone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 8
Thanks everyone for your replys. it is really really hard though to go through all this- especially with new years coming up. I wont lie- and i know its sad- but honestly i want him back. and im working on not thinking about it all and im trying to stay focused on me but man is it hard!
he called last night sad as ever. hes going through a lot and i told him if he wanted to ever talk he could call. i have a feeling he will start calling more then he ever did because i finally left him after all the threats. but even though my heart is broken i stood my ground and told him the reasons why i left him. its not fair the way he has been treating everyone, and its not only me!
Im just at a loss today for everything. I dont know what to think, and im constantly stopping myself from crying. My heart is broken....
he called last night sad as ever. hes going through a lot and i told him if he wanted to ever talk he could call. i have a feeling he will start calling more then he ever did because i finally left him after all the threats. but even though my heart is broken i stood my ground and told him the reasons why i left him. its not fair the way he has been treating everyone, and its not only me!
Im just at a loss today for everything. I dont know what to think, and im constantly stopping myself from crying. My heart is broken....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
You know it is hard right now, but his actions and behavour are going to get worse. It there anything that you can do, go out and take some of the heartbreak away for even an hour...give yourself a rest of the sorrow.
Rose
Rose
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