Early optimism
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Early optimism
My RAS has been home for almost a week now from treatment. The week has been pleasant and comfortable. The weather (which has been very harsh for this area) and holidays could have been a recipe for disaster but things went smoothly and some really nice things happened:
A new friend took time out of her own Thanksgiving Day to bring two wonderful (and really delicious) pies by our house for my family to enjoy. She didn't have to do that and it was one of the nicest gestures that anyone has ever done for me. It warmed my heart and I am so thankful for that new friendship.
Due to my son's addiction, my daughter has distanced herself from her brother (understandably so). They sat next to each other at the dinner table yesterday and shared laughs that just the two of them seemed to get. It warmed my heart to see them share a special bond over those laughs.
Last night after everyone left or went to bed, my son and I had a very long talk. We talked about anything and everything, including some pretty tough topics regarding his addiction and recovery. It was a conversation. And it felt really really good to be able to talk to him and listen to him and not feel "those feelings" creep into the conversation and destroy it. Because of my participation with Naranon and my own recovery, we were often able to relate to one another using "12 step" language. I can't even begin to tell you how much that common thread of 12 step jargon helped us through our communication. It was all good.
So today.....and just for today.....I am in a good place. Not just because my son is sober today......but because I know that I have to continue to reinforce my own recovery every day in order to keep myself in that good place. I have a new friend who shares the understanding of being the mother to an adult addicted child. And my family was together for a holiday and it was a positve experience (for the first time in many years). They say to take it one day at a time, and just for today.....I am optimistic and I have an attitude of gratitude.
The gentle hug today is for me.
A new friend took time out of her own Thanksgiving Day to bring two wonderful (and really delicious) pies by our house for my family to enjoy. She didn't have to do that and it was one of the nicest gestures that anyone has ever done for me. It warmed my heart and I am so thankful for that new friendship.
Due to my son's addiction, my daughter has distanced herself from her brother (understandably so). They sat next to each other at the dinner table yesterday and shared laughs that just the two of them seemed to get. It warmed my heart to see them share a special bond over those laughs.
Last night after everyone left or went to bed, my son and I had a very long talk. We talked about anything and everything, including some pretty tough topics regarding his addiction and recovery. It was a conversation. And it felt really really good to be able to talk to him and listen to him and not feel "those feelings" creep into the conversation and destroy it. Because of my participation with Naranon and my own recovery, we were often able to relate to one another using "12 step" language. I can't even begin to tell you how much that common thread of 12 step jargon helped us through our communication. It was all good.
So today.....and just for today.....I am in a good place. Not just because my son is sober today......but because I know that I have to continue to reinforce my own recovery every day in order to keep myself in that good place. I have a new friend who shares the understanding of being the mother to an adult addicted child. And my family was together for a holiday and it was a positve experience (for the first time in many years). They say to take it one day at a time, and just for today.....I am optimistic and I have an attitude of gratitude.
The gentle hug today is for me.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Kindeyes))) - I'm so glad you had a great day, yesterday, and that you are realizing how important YOUR recovery is. I think you're doing awesome, and glad your son is doing well in HIS recovery, too.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
Because of my participation with Naranon and my own recovery, we were often able to relate to one another using "12 step" language. I can't even begin to tell you how much that common thread of 12 step jargon helped us through our communication. It was all good.
They say to take it one day at a time, and just for today.....I am optimistic and I have an attitude of gratitude.
They say to take it one day at a time, and just for today.....I am optimistic and I have an attitude of gratitude.
I try to start each day with an attitude of gratitude. (sometimes it's not so easy) In fact, I just purchased the book "Choosing Gratitude"
Hugs,
Chris
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 139
I'm so glad you had such a wonderful holiday! It's amazing how we learn to appreciate things; how something small to others can mean so much to us. I'm truly happy for you and pray for your family's continued happiness. Yes, hugs for you today. FGB
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 112
So happy for you Kindeyes. I think it is such a valuable lesson to learn to live in the present and appreciate the gifts the present is offering us. I read a quote just this morning that really stuck with me. It's from Pascal's Pensees.
"We do not rest satisfied with the present... for the present is generally painful to us. We conceal it from our sight, because it troubles us; and, if it be delightful to us, we regret to see it pass away. We scarcely ever think of the present; and, if we think of it, it is only to take light from it to arrange the future. So we never live, but hope to live; and, as we are always preparing to be happy, it is inevitable we should never be so."
"We do not rest satisfied with the present... for the present is generally painful to us. We conceal it from our sight, because it troubles us; and, if it be delightful to us, we regret to see it pass away. We scarcely ever think of the present; and, if we think of it, it is only to take light from it to arrange the future. So we never live, but hope to live; and, as we are always preparing to be happy, it is inevitable we should never be so."
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Join Date: Dec 2007
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Originally Posted by Hope44 
So happy for you Kindeyes. I think it is such a valuable lesson to learn to live in the present and appreciate the gifts the present is offering us. I read a quote just this morning that really stuck with me. It's from Pascal's Pensees.
"We do not rest satisfied with the present... for the present is generally painful to us. We conceal it from our sight, because it troubles us; and, if it be delightful to us, we regret to see it pass away. We scarcely ever think of the present; and, if we think of it, it is only to take light from it to arrange the future. So we never live, but hope to live; and, as we are always preparing to be happy, it is inevitable we should never be so."
"We do not rest satisfied with the present... for the present is generally painful to us. We conceal it from our sight, because it troubles us; and, if it be delightful to us, we regret to see it pass away. We scarcely ever think of the present; and, if we think of it, it is only to take light from it to arrange the future. So we never live, but hope to live; and, as we are always preparing to be happy, it is inevitable we should never be so."
I love that. Thank you so much for sharing it.
gentle hugs
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 81
Kindeyes,
I am so happy to read your post. I think of you often. I can understand your happiness at seeing your son and daughter share a laugh. My daughter also has distanced herself from AS, and that is painful for a mom to see. I too, rejoice in the times they remember their bond. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
I am so happy to read your post. I think of you often. I can understand your happiness at seeing your son and daughter share a laugh. My daughter also has distanced herself from AS, and that is painful for a mom to see. I too, rejoice in the times they remember their bond. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
It's nice to see you counting your blessings and that you have so many
to count this holiday.
Enjoy all the time you can with your son. The healing relationship is a miracle !
How great that your daughter can forgive.
to count this holiday.
Enjoy all the time you can with your son. The healing relationship is a miracle !
How great that your daughter can forgive.
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