What are your triggers?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,064
What are your triggers?
My main trigger is feeling fear. Fear that something will happen to someone I love, fear that things will be overwhelming, fear that I won't measure up, fear of rejection, fear of things changing, fear of things not changing. When I feel fear I feel out of control, unable to think, then comes a panic attack with thoughts running in every direction.
I've had other triggers like feeling anger, feeling self righteous, feeling this overly strict sense of fairness and justice that I've had to just try to let go of because the world is constantly unfair. I assign all that mess to the karma police.
Sometimes I read threads on SR that can trigger me, and it's stuff I see in myself maybe even subconsciously or something that is totally impersonal but I apply it to myself.. and why do I do that?
How I deal with triggers, is I talk to people on SR or in meetings, I try to deep breathe and meditate, lord I try to give it all up but sometimes I fail. I know everyone of us deals with triggers all the time, so what do you do when you're triggered and what triggers you? I'll feel fine one day and then bam I'm triggered and I try to stay balanced, sometimes it's hard. Just wondered what other people do to stay centered. And thanks guys. I hope talking about it helps others, including myself.
I've had other triggers like feeling anger, feeling self righteous, feeling this overly strict sense of fairness and justice that I've had to just try to let go of because the world is constantly unfair. I assign all that mess to the karma police.
Sometimes I read threads on SR that can trigger me, and it's stuff I see in myself maybe even subconsciously or something that is totally impersonal but I apply it to myself.. and why do I do that?
How I deal with triggers, is I talk to people on SR or in meetings, I try to deep breathe and meditate, lord I try to give it all up but sometimes I fail. I know everyone of us deals with triggers all the time, so what do you do when you're triggered and what triggers you? I'll feel fine one day and then bam I'm triggered and I try to stay balanced, sometimes it's hard. Just wondered what other people do to stay centered. And thanks guys. I hope talking about it helps others, including myself.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
I get triggered by patronizing or condescending tones or people. Being 'talked down' to or like I'm a moron. I hate that and it makes me quite upset. Maybe it is the feeling that I have to prove something of myself. I don't but that is what it tells me that I'm not doing something effectively. Also if people don't like me, I mean not everyone in the world is going to like you or find you as someone they enjoy being around but I take that type of rejection hard. Like me!!
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
right now everything trigger sme it seems, I am at least now usually able to pause and think before I react but not always. The other day the sales ads triggered me. Just seeing the Christmas items killed me inside.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
Quickly off the top of my head is when my AS calls me because he is in physical pain. Actually when I think about it, it is when any of my children call me because they are in physical pain. When I think even deeper about it, it is when ANYBODY calls me for help because they are in physical pain.
From reading all these posts, esp the ones where the addicted loved one is in a fast spiral downward, I am trying to prepare myself for when my AS calls me because of some physical pain he has that would be directly due to his drug/alcohol use. I remember a mother some time back who posted here that her son was calling her because he needed some kind of surgery, I think because of a fight he had been in. She told him to get himself to a hospital to get it taken care of, but otherwise she stayed out of it. That mother then came here and doubled up on her recovery support. Wow! I thought to myself, "Self, you are going to have to have that kind of major detachment one of these days. Be ready for it."
So that's my trigger and I'm stickin' to it.
From reading all these posts, esp the ones where the addicted loved one is in a fast spiral downward, I am trying to prepare myself for when my AS calls me because of some physical pain he has that would be directly due to his drug/alcohol use. I remember a mother some time back who posted here that her son was calling her because he needed some kind of surgery, I think because of a fight he had been in. She told him to get himself to a hospital to get it taken care of, but otherwise she stayed out of it. That mother then came here and doubled up on her recovery support. Wow! I thought to myself, "Self, you are going to have to have that kind of major detachment one of these days. Be ready for it."
So that's my trigger and I'm stickin' to it.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Triggers.........oh my........so many triggers so little time. lol
Mean people. They trigger me but I'm getting better at not giving them the upper hand.
My son's "poor me" diatribes.....those really trigger me.
I'm sure I could list a bajillion of them but the bottom line is......triggers create a feeling that I can't describe. I'm learning to recognize that "feeling" and react very differently than I have most of my life (or not react at all). So I'm finding that triggers are less of a factor for me than they have been in the past......and that's a very GOOD thing!
This was an interesting thread....thank you!
gentle hugs
Mean people. They trigger me but I'm getting better at not giving them the upper hand.
My son's "poor me" diatribes.....those really trigger me.
I'm sure I could list a bajillion of them but the bottom line is......triggers create a feeling that I can't describe. I'm learning to recognize that "feeling" and react very differently than I have most of my life (or not react at all). So I'm finding that triggers are less of a factor for me than they have been in the past......and that's a very GOOD thing!
This was an interesting thread....thank you!
gentle hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 457
when I hear a message from my attorney, receive a letter from my attorney, and yesterday receiving a letter for upcoming court, it triggers anger
when I think of how physically ill and mentally deranged my husband is it triggers sadness
when I think he will pass away it triggers panic and sadness
when I think that maybe,just maybe if I did something different he would
be sober, it triggers guilt
when I think I will have to see him in court it triggers extreme sadness and fear/anxiety to see him so ill.
when I think of what he has done and what he has become and hurting me it triggers disgrace.
when things are quiet and I dont have to do legal things and I can chat and laugh with coworkers it triggers happiness.
when I think about the upcoming holidays it triggers depression and wanting to run away and hide.
when people tell me stupid problems it triggers annoyance
when people tell me happy things, again it triggers sadness
but regardless, this too shall pass, Im not alone and just got to get through it.
thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings
when I think of how physically ill and mentally deranged my husband is it triggers sadness
when I think he will pass away it triggers panic and sadness
when I think that maybe,just maybe if I did something different he would
be sober, it triggers guilt
when I think I will have to see him in court it triggers extreme sadness and fear/anxiety to see him so ill.
when I think of what he has done and what he has become and hurting me it triggers disgrace.
when things are quiet and I dont have to do legal things and I can chat and laugh with coworkers it triggers happiness.
when I think about the upcoming holidays it triggers depression and wanting to run away and hide.
when people tell me stupid problems it triggers annoyance
when people tell me happy things, again it triggers sadness
but regardless, this too shall pass, Im not alone and just got to get through it.
thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: central coast, ca
Posts: 1,652
I get triggered by my daughter complaining to me..especially about things i am paying for!! Thankfully I was able to put the kibosh on that.
One little new thing can trigger a flood of resentment in me. It is something I am working on, but emotionally I can go right back to whatever happened in the past if something similar happens now...I can't remeber what I ate for breakfast, but man can I remember what my husbands mother said to me 20 years ago!
One little new thing can trigger a flood of resentment in me. It is something I am working on, but emotionally I can go right back to whatever happened in the past if something similar happens now...I can't remeber what I ate for breakfast, but man can I remember what my husbands mother said to me 20 years ago!
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
oh I have lots of triggers . . .
the sound of a pill bottle
the pop of a beer can
or even the ring of a phone can be a trigger if I'm HALT (hungry, angry, lonely or tired)
Then if i'm doing ok but happen to see someone . . .
drunk
slurring their speech
falling asleep sitting up
these can put me in a bad place
I can't stand to be around ANGRY people
it puts me in a 1,000 forms of FEAR
Geez - still have lots of triggers that cause me to use 100% of the tools of recovery
PINK HUGS,
Rita
the sound of a pill bottle
the pop of a beer can
or even the ring of a phone can be a trigger if I'm HALT (hungry, angry, lonely or tired)
Then if i'm doing ok but happen to see someone . . .
drunk
slurring their speech
falling asleep sitting up
these can put me in a bad place
I can't stand to be around ANGRY people
it puts me in a 1,000 forms of FEAR
Geez - still have lots of triggers that cause me to use 100% of the tools of recovery
PINK HUGS,
Rita
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
I'm facing lots of triggers getting this first year as newly divorced. The last several years my family and I (which included xah), sister her family, all did the same thing every christmas. Went to Mil's, then my family's then a h20 park for a few days. This year will be different. We're going to my parents lakehouse for a relaxing 3-4 days. Just going through these firsts, I'm facing LOTS of triggers.
It does remind me of why I'm glad I'm not in those dark places anymore. I was very deep and very dark. I'm glad that I can make my future whatever I choose to make it. I don't have to envelope xah's addiction anymore.
It does remind me of why I'm glad I'm not in those dark places anymore. I was very deep and very dark. I'm glad that I can make my future whatever I choose to make it. I don't have to envelope xah's addiction anymore.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Originally Posted by tam 
when I hear a message from my attorney, receive a
when I think that maybe,just maybe if I did something different he would
be sober, it triggers guilt.
when I think that maybe,just maybe if I did something different he would
be sober, it triggers guilt.
This, is a big one for me I keep telling myself if I had went to alanon sooner and worked on my codependency sooner I would have handled things different and then would not be using. I know that is not true but attimes I think it.
Originally Posted by tam
when I think about the upcoming holidays it triggers depression and wanting to run away and hide.
it is what it is
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Griffin GA
Posts: 454
"This, is a big one for me I keep telling myself if I had went to alanon sooner and worked on my codependency sooner I would have handled things different and then would not be using. I know that is not true but attimes I think it." quote from crazybabie
it seems my strongest trigger is thinking about times that i did one thing but now think i should have done something different - taking the guilt of his using on myself - it takes a while to shake that feeling
it seems my strongest trigger is thinking about times that i did one thing but now think i should have done something different - taking the guilt of his using on myself - it takes a while to shake that feeling
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,064
I know about regrets. I wish I had gotten into recovery way sooner but I was told that IT took what it took. I know that sounds like a cliche but I wasn't ready to find recovery till I was ready. I am still working on trying to forgive myself, it coming in slow bits.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
I wish I had gotten into recovery way sooner but I was told that IT took what it took.
So damn very true and depressing. But it is what it is. The harder I fought, the deeper I fell. So did not see it @ the time. I thought I was the 'trooper' back then. I admire my fight, but hate how far I fell because of it.
So damn very true and depressing. But it is what it is. The harder I fought, the deeper I fell. So did not see it @ the time. I thought I was the 'trooper' back then. I admire my fight, but hate how far I fell because of it.
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