1988July

No! Much appreciated Suki, Got amazing hugs from everyone and Suki grabbed me and shook me, lol.

HowManyChances

I know its so hard. But like they said, how is being there going to benefit his health? it wont. your strong, so be strong. Im glad you have a good support system of friends that will jump in when you need it..

take care, and best of luck!

Kindeyes

I'm so glad that you have friends to help you, hug you, and keep you distracted. Please......take care of you. You deserve to be treated tenderly, with love and respect.
As others have said, he is in God's hands.

gentle hugs

Babyblue

I read what he did to you.
Maybe think about maybe calling a DV support line? He is in capable hands and going there won't change his outcome but could change yours and you seem to be doing so much better. You owe it to yourself to put this man behind you. I'm sorry, it must be an awful feeling but maybe I just don't have sympathy for anyone that victimizes others to the extent he did. Stay strong!!!

gotahavfaith

Just sending you big hugs tonite. I will pray for you and him.

Gotahavfaith

Time4Me1

I know the feeling! I have had to wrap myself in a huge thick blanket untill the shaking and crying pass. I use it as a safety "cacoon". It really helps to soothe my body when this happens. Stay here and ask for guidance and you will find the strength to stay detached as hard as it is!!

Freedom1990

How are you doing today, dear?

coffeedrinker

You are certainly NOT being selfish.

1. You are enabling him when you allow him to treat you badly, and when you take care of him as though he were a child.

It's actually more selfish to continue to do that, if you really think about it.


2. You are not being selfish when you get yourself in a place where you are able to care for your children. That is the normal order of things. They get born, without their consent, are placed in our hands, and we are supposed to see that their needs are met. It's not being selfish, it's our job.


Please let us know how you are today sweetie.

Thumpalumpacus

This.

Times like this, the Serenity Prayer seems called-for.

1988July

He made it through the night and he woke up today he apparently is still out of it and on the rocks but went into a rage for them throwing his "stuff" away he had in in the lining of his boxers, he ripped out of the ivs and then collapsed again. I don't really know, sounds like he will be fine, but he is still in ICU. Clearly this isn't his wake up call. I didn't go last night I did go with my friends and had a good time, kept my mind off the whole situation. I guess only time will tell but I feel like this is just one more additional step to him defeating himself or destroying himself completly my friends are like me no real experiance in drug addiction first hand so everything is mostly from google we know. Or what I have lived through and my one other friend. The consensus is once they start to overdose at this rate the only thing that will stop them is death. Is this true? I feel like it is and thats what they say as well, that when they start to hit this rock bottom they won't stop so I should prepare myself for it which like I said before I have been but last night was my first stomach drop, panic episode of the end of his journey. What do you guys think?

1988July

I am fine,,, a little tiered from last night but more sure of myself. I am worried about what will happen in the weeks to come.

1988July

My friends are the best there are, throughout my relationship with him they realized sending husbands and boyfriends to my house wasnt the answer it would just be worse but they called and checked on me came out always to check on us and sadly enough during the time I left him I bounced from there houses to in so many words not be found they are like sisters to me and we had a slumber party after we went out just so I didn't get weak in the late hours....cuddling with the girls always helps

Live

good for you and hugs to your dear friends!

Time4Me1

Prepare for the worst and hope for the best! It is all you can do. His fate is out of your control. I do know that you will be able to handle what ever the out come,if you just stay here and do WHATEVER you have to do to stay healthy. You will be ok. I was in your shoes a few weeks ago and mine ended up in jail, but I was sure he was going to have a worse out come, and I prepared myself for it. I have been devestated, but being here and just KNOWING that I couldnt do anything to "save" him has kept me going. Every day I feel a little better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And you will too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

sojourner

1988July: Funny, I did get lost in a department store when i was 5 years old. I was terrified. When I saw my mother's coat, i ran up and hugged her legs only to be even more terrified when it was a stranger who looked down at me hugging her legs and showed her disgust. My mother also showed her disgust when I was found.

How wonderful that, unlike that stranger with a coat like my mother's and unlike my mother, you have found people who embrace you through this terrifying time. It makes all the difference in the world, doesn't it?

I'm throwing my (((hugs))) in here too. Glad you are feeling better. Because you successfully managed this (even if you don't think so, you did), the next time will be easier... really, it will !

1988July

Thankyou everyone... just to update you all he is out of the hospital and getting high again I am glad I didn't fall into his life again.

Freedom1990

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other dear. You are doing good!

Lunaaa

I agree with everyone,you shouldnt go,you said it yourself breaking this barrier would weaken and harm you. stay away from him.

Lunaaa

I guess my reply was kind of late,anyways thank god you chose not to go.