Helping my sister
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: canada
Posts: 2
Helping my sister
Hi everyone,
I have a sister who has always had a drinking problem, when she had kids it appeared as though she had changed she did everything for them was even working 3 jobs at one point to support her family. Her marriage was never good they always fought and he drank too much too. Finally my sister met another guy who she left home every weekend to be with that soon turned into everyday rarely ever coming home. She has now lost her home, had to sell it before the bank took it. Has got a place to rent with her boyfriend using the money she got from selling the house. The kids have been taken and put into foster care. And she still doesnt see her drinking as a problem, "its just beer". Her new boyfriend is also a drinker and neither of them are working, its only a matter of time before the money runs out. I know she cares for her kids as she cries when they are mentioned. Does any one have any suggestions on how I can help her realise what her drinking is doing? She seems to want help but cant take the step.
I have a sister who has always had a drinking problem, when she had kids it appeared as though she had changed she did everything for them was even working 3 jobs at one point to support her family. Her marriage was never good they always fought and he drank too much too. Finally my sister met another guy who she left home every weekend to be with that soon turned into everyday rarely ever coming home. She has now lost her home, had to sell it before the bank took it. Has got a place to rent with her boyfriend using the money she got from selling the house. The kids have been taken and put into foster care. And she still doesnt see her drinking as a problem, "its just beer". Her new boyfriend is also a drinker and neither of them are working, its only a matter of time before the money runs out. I know she cares for her kids as she cries when they are mentioned. Does any one have any suggestions on how I can help her realise what her drinking is doing? She seems to want help but cant take the step.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Hi Mac, just saw this before going to bed.
Sorry about your sister. I think it might get quiet here now, but tomorrow people will come on and give you some help. What can I say?
She is not ready? How trite that sounds. If you took her kids, that lets her off the hook. I don't know.
Will say a prayer for you tonight.
Sorry about your sister. I think it might get quiet here now, but tomorrow people will come on and give you some help. What can I say?
She is not ready? How trite that sounds. If you took her kids, that lets her off the hook. I don't know.
Will say a prayer for you tonight.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
I'm so sorry to hear about what brings your here....but welcome. It sounds like the children are exactly where they need to be...away from all of that violence and alcohol-fueled abuse.
Perhaps losing her children will be motivation for he to stop drinking. Unfortunately, there is nothing any of us can do to get an alcoholic or addict to change, to "see the light". This is a fight they must choose to battle on their own, and we, the family, just don't have the tools to help. That's why there are professionals and support groups.
We, the friends and family, have something we call the 3 C's.
We did not cause the drinking.
We cannot control the drinking. And...
We cannot cure the disease.
More folks will be along, I'm sure, who have way more experience to share than I do.
I hope things improve for your sister, you and your family soon!
Huge hugs, HG
p.s. Take a read around the boards....very helpful and enlightening!!!!
Perhaps losing her children will be motivation for he to stop drinking. Unfortunately, there is nothing any of us can do to get an alcoholic or addict to change, to "see the light". This is a fight they must choose to battle on their own, and we, the family, just don't have the tools to help. That's why there are professionals and support groups.
We, the friends and family, have something we call the 3 C's.
We did not cause the drinking.
We cannot control the drinking. And...
We cannot cure the disease.
More folks will be along, I'm sure, who have way more experience to share than I do.
I hope things improve for your sister, you and your family soon!
Huge hugs, HG
p.s. Take a read around the boards....very helpful and enlightening!!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Hey mac1308
Welcome to SR.......I'm so sorry to hear of your dear sisters troubles with alcohol.
Unfortunately, some people can lose everything and still not want to stop drinking. They'll blame it on anything else rather than blame it on their drinking. They'll make excuses like "it's just beer".
No one really knows what (if anything) finally gets their attention.....and sometimes, when they finally realize they have a problem.....it's a fleeting realization that reverts back to denial quickly.
There is always hope though. Always. I hope you stick around and share your story and learn from the others here who have been dealing with alcoholism or addiction for a very long time. We all learn from each other.
gentle hugs
Welcome to SR.......I'm so sorry to hear of your dear sisters troubles with alcohol.
Unfortunately, some people can lose everything and still not want to stop drinking. They'll blame it on anything else rather than blame it on their drinking. They'll make excuses like "it's just beer".
No one really knows what (if anything) finally gets their attention.....and sometimes, when they finally realize they have a problem.....it's a fleeting realization that reverts back to denial quickly.
There is always hope though. Always. I hope you stick around and share your story and learn from the others here who have been dealing with alcoholism or addiction for a very long time. We all learn from each other.
gentle hugs
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