keepinon

My 18 year old AD just called my husband in tears saying she misses us, loves us, and is starving. My husband asked her if she was hurt, she said no. He then tried to get off the phone asap. She wanted to know where my mom was as we will not give her any money. I KNOW she needs to find her own bottom. I feel like a horibble person because a part of me gets excited thinking"GOOD. If you are hungry, sad, tired and miss us, maybe you are one step closer to hitting bottom and getting better" I am not naive and know it can go on for a very long time or forever, but it gives me hope in a totally creepy way..like who wants their kid to suffer? Anyone else have these feelings?

Chino

Absolutely and outside of a few exceptions, it's mostly people who have walked in your shoes that will understand.

Keep hoping and be kind to yourself, OK?

tjp613

Of course I've felt that way, Keep! My son found himself a pretty cushy place to land and I find myself hoping/waiting for the day she kicks him out! Same deal! It's a VERY odd feeling...goes against everything we've thought a mother should be/feel! But it's a head vs. heart issue. For once our head is pulling rank on our heart because it's the only way we can survive with any kind of decent life. We are deserving of a good life because we made good choices. The kids?...well, they are learning!

(((HUGS))) Enjoy your day!

coffeedrinker

yes, keepinon, every time my daughter experiences a serious consequence, i get that mixed feeling: scared, hopeful that something might click for her, and worried that it will not.

she was recently hospitalized for alcohol poisoning so severe that she was not discharged til it was safe to do so - 10 hours after her arrival to the emergency room.
i was floored when, once she was sober for a week after that, she told me she does not believe she's an addict.

you are making good progress, i believe, when you are exactly where you and your husband are with this.