Mom to an addict in need of some advise!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 76
I think you have a good attitude. It also sounds like you are being positive, yet realistic.
I am married to an addict, and we don't have kids yet, so it's hard for me to relate.
However, I read a book entitled Boundaries, and it helped me answer a lot of questions similiar to yours. I highly recommend you read it. No just buy it. It's nice to have on the shelf for "weak moments".
I wish you the best!
Christen
I am married to an addict, and we don't have kids yet, so it's hard for me to relate.
However, I read a book entitled Boundaries, and it helped me answer a lot of questions similiar to yours. I highly recommend you read it. No just buy it. It's nice to have on the shelf for "weak moments".
I wish you the best!
Christen
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Paula)) - that's where going to al-anon meetings will help, as will reading and posting here. The more you hear that others are going/have gone through the same thing, it slowly sinks in that your situation really isn't so unique, and you're not holding all the power of his addiction in your hands.
I know it's hard, but getting support for you will help you tremendously.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I know it's hard, but getting support for you will help you tremendously.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 118
Hello Paula,
I'm new here too. This list works so well, I can refer back to things in case I didn't get it the first time.
You've got loads of great advice here - nothing I can ad so I'll just pick my favorites.
Send him the letter, let him know you've gotten help for yourself and it's available for him if he wants it. Let him know what the boundries are while he's away - one less face to face confrontation for you. Now he can make an informed choice and be responsible for his actions.
Get to a meeting. You will soon be filled with loads of support from new friends and neighbors who've been through similar situations. Did someone mention how to find a meeting in your area?
See you around,
CB
PS I don't let my daughter's "friends" in my house. It's been a long time since she had any real friends. She knows better than to show up at my door with her supposed friends. People you get high with are not your friends.
I'm new here too. This list works so well, I can refer back to things in case I didn't get it the first time.
You've got loads of great advice here - nothing I can ad so I'll just pick my favorites.
Send him the letter, let him know you've gotten help for yourself and it's available for him if he wants it. Let him know what the boundries are while he's away - one less face to face confrontation for you. Now he can make an informed choice and be responsible for his actions.
Get to a meeting. You will soon be filled with loads of support from new friends and neighbors who've been through similar situations. Did someone mention how to find a meeting in your area?
See you around,
CB
PS I don't let my daughter's "friends" in my house. It's been a long time since she had any real friends. She knows better than to show up at my door with her supposed friends. People you get high with are not your friends.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Your thinking will get you into trouble.
Just as the A has to do everything differently to stay sober, it seems we
must too
Step ONE - admit we are powerless
This step really kick-started a change in my life. All the other steps are
icing on the cake. They work when I work the 12 steps through al-anon.
Just as the A has to do everything differently to stay sober, it seems we
must too
Step ONE - admit we are powerless
This step really kick-started a change in my life. All the other steps are
icing on the cake. They work when I work the 12 steps through al-anon.
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