Teggie

I had to enforce my boundries yet again. AH has been out of our home for a month now. I had asked him to leave the property and he moved back into the shop out back after 2 weeks without discussing it with me. He went behind my back 3 days ago and had his old wrecker pickup added back to our auto policy that I pay for.

So after many calls to the insurance this am it has been concluded that if I split off and make him have his own policy & he defaults the collection will hit my credit report also. I have worked hard on my credit and can't allow that to happen. So for the time being I will keep his clunker on my policy for an additional 15 a month until I get a divorce which will allow me to remove him altogether off the policy.

Ditto for making him leave the property, I will need divorce papers to do so legally. So after confronting him about the insurance thing and hearing his lies (he stated he was to be billed directly to him and it was seperate, I called and talked to the agent that did it and was informed that it was added to my policy and no other arrangments were made.) I informed him that I was going to have to file for a divorce to protect the kids and myself.

I got to hear how he is trying and only taking his meds correctly...quack quack quack. His actions tell a different story, he's still hanging around his drug friends. His speech was slurred even talking to me. I said it wasn't enough, he wasn't in rehab, he wasn't working a recovery and I had nothing else to say and told him to leave. After he left I broke down and cried.

I then sent the following text message:

Know that everything that is occuring is the result of your drug use. I didn't cause this. You did, I didn't abandon you, you abandoned us by choosing drugs over your family. I can honestly say I tried my best but it wasn't enough. Don't blame me for doing what your addiction has forced me to do to protect these kids and myself. I hope you get help for yourself and for the example you are setting for your son.

Then I cried some more and now here I am wondering if this pain will ever get any easier. Guess it's time to start filling out the papers on this site I found & hope I can do this uncontested.

Hugs,
Teggie

eaglesgirl

HUGS (((((Teggie)))))


This is a very hard thing you are going through... Feeling emotions from sadness to anger and hurt and back to sadness are natural!!

You should be proud of the way you handled what you were dealt with about the insurance. You know what it is that is needed to get him off without hurting your credit, and by filing those divorce papers you will be doing that...

Divorce does not mean that you will stop caring about what happens to him...

Just wanted to send you some love!

MrsMagoo

You've heard it before....If nothing changes, nothing changes. File for divorce. Follow through with the divorce. Protect yourself, your assets, your credit and your kids. If he surrenders eventually, you can always date and/or remarry. In the meantime, you are in survival mode. Make the most of it. You can definately still care and may even still love him but you shouldn't put your life in a holding pattern waiting on him to change. You change your circumstances and you'll find it's alot easier to breath...eventually.

Stay strong and best of luck!

Teggie

Thank you very much.

Mrs Magoo your post hit me head on, I think my HP must have sent a message today through you. Thank you again, I am seeing it in a different light.

I sure will be glad when the easier part gets here. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done.

Hugs,
Teggie

tchappy

Hi, just wanted to tell you it does get better. I am not 100% through all of the pain yet, but everyday gets a little better.

Just wanted to let you know I know how you feel and to tell you hang in there. There is peace and happiness in your near future.

Take care

justtired

Congratulations on standing firm and doing what you have to do. I know how hard it is, and I think you are doing great! Hang in there lady!

Callie

Teggie -

Be prepared for more road blocks similar to the insurance, removal from your property, protecting your credit etc. You've read my posts and it is difficult to seperate everything. I found out yesterday that outstanding medical bills for AH are also my responsibility. Nice...

Have you seen a lawyer? It's a free consultation. I actually saw 3 lawyers throughout the last few years. I'm glad that I did because I got to pick the one that I liked the best AND got tons of useful free information. PM me anytime you want. Buckle down and get your ducks in a row. MM is right, if he gets his crap together there is nothing that says you can't reunite @ a later date when he's clean and has proved himself.