Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Owning Our Power

We need to make a distinction between powerlessness and owning our power.

The first step in recovery is accepting powerlessness. There are some things we can't do, no matter how long or hard we try. These things include changing other people, solving their problems, and controlling their behavior. Sometimes, we feel powerless over ourselves - what we feel or believe, or the effects of a particular situation or person on us.

It's important to surrender to powerlessness, but it's equally important to own our power. We aren't trapped. We aren't helpless. Sometimes it may feel like we are, but we aren't. We each have the God-given power, and the right, to take care of ourselves in any circumstance, and with any person. The middle ground of self-care lies between the two extremes of controlling others and allowing them to control us. We can walk that ground gently or assertively, but in confidence that it is our right and responsibility.

Let the power come to walk that path.

Today, I will remember that I can take care of my self. I have choices, and I can exercise the options I choose without guilt.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

I remember my sponsor teaching me that when we "react" to others in anger or frustrations, we have just voluntarily given them the power to control our emotions.

And that when I try to control another person, I surrender all my power to them because if they do what I want, I am happy and if they do not do what I want I am sad...so what they do determines how I am.

That's not to say that wanting someone to stop using drugs is wrong or controlling, and that being sad when they use is giving up our power...it means that only I can decide how to live my life and decide if how I am living is acceptable or not. It means I can set boundaries and explore alternatives to living in chaos.

Recovery turns the focus back to us, not in a selfish way but in a self-caring healthy way, and for me, that has made all the difference.

Hugs

hope213

i needed this post this morning. i wear my self thin because i still try to please others, mainly mr. hope & put myself last. this is not the way it should be. i am going to work on this. i am taking back the power of my rights. the right to do the things i want to do & the right to be happy about it without feeling guilty. putting my self first for a change sometimes.thank you ann!