cmhcali

I am so full of fear right now I needed to post. I am afraid I will crack. You know how it is when the addict seems to be struggling and you think maybe this time will be different.

We were supposed to meet today as I think I mentioned I have no officially left him verbally yet. He has been at work and supposed to meet with his sponsor and I have not heard from him. My mind is like he is not doing the right thing. My heart says I just want this to end. I guess god knows I am not ready and is protecting me from seeing him face to face as maybe I am not strong enough yet.

hello-kitty

I find so much inspiration in quotes.

You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
~Dale Carnegie

justtired

Thanks Hello-Kitty - I really like that a lot.

cmhcali

That is so true. It probably doesnt help that I was writing tenth step inventory today surrounding the whole situation and my resentments and just moved on to my fear list.

I also wrote a hard amends today to an ex-boyfriends mother. Just keep doing the next right thing and god will protect me. He just called me and sounds like he has a horrible cold. I am not sure if it is because of detoxing. Not my problem.

coffeedrinker

Just keep telling yourself (and him if you end up talking to him) that you need time and space. You are unsure. There is no hurry here.