Need is mistaken for love
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Dallas, TX
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Need is mistaken for love
This may have been posted before, I'm not sure. I found this over in the Family and Friends of Alcoholics. I hope I am not stepping on any toes pasting it here. But, it has had such a HUGE affect on my thinking about my past relationships and the most recent relationship I got out of...After I read this...a very BRIGHT light came on in my mind. I now actually can grasp what my problem is and I wanted to share this incase it could help someone else. This is just a portion of what is talked about in the web link I have posted
Dependency - Relationship
NEED IS MISTAKEN FOR LOVE
If we have been in a dependent situation for a long period of time, our emotional and mental faculties will have become brainwashed into not being able to distinguish the difference between “need & love.” A perfect balance of love has to be 50% - 50% in the act of sharing. Once we start to give our power away, in any form or manner, we are no longer sharing in a like 50% -50% relationship, whether it is our mates, families or friends.
If you strike an animal with a stick at exactly 12:00 noon everyday for weeks at a time, that poor animal will become dependent on being struck. After several weeks, if one day you stop, that poor animal will go berserk in need of being struck. There is something missing and it can’t handle this. It has mistaken abuse for attention or love. Everyone knows this example, yet we do not see it in our own lives. Once this starts to occur, by becoming the victim, the next step that follows
is, that the victim takes on the role of being a martyr of a lost cause.
NEED BRINGS ON MARTYRDOM
When a victim goes through this role of dependency along with the alcoholic or addict, they will keep saying that when this individual is sober or in their right mind, they are very loving and do give love. We must wake up to this farce and
masquerade!
Alcohol and drug addiction is a selfish act within the Law of Self. The Law of Self is a self serving frequency which cannot give of its life force, much less, share it with anyone, unless, it is self serving to the parasite. You have been deceived, what you feel as love coming from them is a portion of your own love that you previously gave to them. You are in such a bad state of need that you do not recognize it as being your own energy, your own force, and your own power. You must wake up!
We must also remember that the alcoholic or drug addict is not necessarily conscious of the mechanics of how this works. They, in their own selfish way, will sense what feels good and is self serving, and in giving, they only give in small portions, even with the love that is yours which they feed back to you, in a self serving manner to keep you victimized. You are their food source
. The perfect example of this is the story of Dracula who must bite and take of his victim’s blood
(life force)
at three separate times
(The physical, mental, and emotional bodies)
in order to have complete control of their victims. But the irony to this is that, the alcoholic or drug addict does not have to look for a victim or a martyr, they come to them by their own accord in a state of need.
Martyrdom comes into the picture when the victim starts receiving these small portions of their own love that is being rationed back to them by the parasite. The victim feels warmth from this love, and being deceived, they believe it to be from the parasite as some sort of true love. There must be more in there! I will dedicate my life, my soul to bring it out in them! My love will do it! Famous lost words of
martyrdom, which is “illusion & fantasy.”
When we ask a person, who is already a victim in a relationship with a drug addict or an alcoholic, “Why do you stay with this person? You could have a better life away from all the heartache and pain?” They are quick to respond, “inside this person is a very loving, giving, human being that needs help, and I am here to help this person. This person needs me. They would be in a terrible mess without me. I could not live with myself if something was to happen to them or if I abandon them. I could not do that to them, as deep inside they need me.” The self-proclaimed martyr has spoken. You will notice that the underlying message is that of need and is not love. Where there is love there is no need as all is balanced.
__________________
Dependency - Relationship
NEED IS MISTAKEN FOR LOVE
If we have been in a dependent situation for a long period of time, our emotional and mental faculties will have become brainwashed into not being able to distinguish the difference between “need & love.” A perfect balance of love has to be 50% - 50% in the act of sharing. Once we start to give our power away, in any form or manner, we are no longer sharing in a like 50% -50% relationship, whether it is our mates, families or friends.
If you strike an animal with a stick at exactly 12:00 noon everyday for weeks at a time, that poor animal will become dependent on being struck. After several weeks, if one day you stop, that poor animal will go berserk in need of being struck. There is something missing and it can’t handle this. It has mistaken abuse for attention or love. Everyone knows this example, yet we do not see it in our own lives. Once this starts to occur, by becoming the victim, the next step that follows
is, that the victim takes on the role of being a martyr of a lost cause.
NEED BRINGS ON MARTYRDOM
When a victim goes through this role of dependency along with the alcoholic or addict, they will keep saying that when this individual is sober or in their right mind, they are very loving and do give love. We must wake up to this farce and
masquerade!
Alcohol and drug addiction is a selfish act within the Law of Self. The Law of Self is a self serving frequency which cannot give of its life force, much less, share it with anyone, unless, it is self serving to the parasite. You have been deceived, what you feel as love coming from them is a portion of your own love that you previously gave to them. You are in such a bad state of need that you do not recognize it as being your own energy, your own force, and your own power. You must wake up!
We must also remember that the alcoholic or drug addict is not necessarily conscious of the mechanics of how this works. They, in their own selfish way, will sense what feels good and is self serving, and in giving, they only give in small portions, even with the love that is yours which they feed back to you, in a self serving manner to keep you victimized. You are their food source
. The perfect example of this is the story of Dracula who must bite and take of his victim’s blood
(life force)
at three separate times
(The physical, mental, and emotional bodies)
in order to have complete control of their victims. But the irony to this is that, the alcoholic or drug addict does not have to look for a victim or a martyr, they come to them by their own accord in a state of need.
Martyrdom comes into the picture when the victim starts receiving these small portions of their own love that is being rationed back to them by the parasite. The victim feels warmth from this love, and being deceived, they believe it to be from the parasite as some sort of true love. There must be more in there! I will dedicate my life, my soul to bring it out in them! My love will do it! Famous lost words of
martyrdom, which is “illusion & fantasy.”
When we ask a person, who is already a victim in a relationship with a drug addict or an alcoholic, “Why do you stay with this person? You could have a better life away from all the heartache and pain?” They are quick to respond, “inside this person is a very loving, giving, human being that needs help, and I am here to help this person. This person needs me. They would be in a terrible mess without me. I could not live with myself if something was to happen to them or if I abandon them. I could not do that to them, as deep inside they need me.” The self-proclaimed martyr has spoken. You will notice that the underlying message is that of need and is not love. Where there is love there is no need as all is balanced.
__________________
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