UNHAPPY777

Hi all.... My Ahusband has been out of the home since Nov.1..I see him now and he looks so dang on healthy. I have always wondered if he was really doing drugs but, now I'm really wondering. He still has really odd behaviors. His off days from work are Sunday and Monday. Every Saturday night I get calls are text messages from him. I Love u......Im messed up....Im all Fu**** up and many more. Is he just playing me or should I take it for face value. He always seems like he is on the go when he visits the kids. He has his own apt and claims that he is getting himself together for us but, I think he lives with the girl. Oh soooo much chaos and confusion. Help I need some opinions. Where do I go from here? What do I think?

Ann

I'd say believe him. He sounds messed up to me.

Where do you go from here? Well, from what you say I think you are on the right track, keeping away from the chaos and the dark abyss of addiction.

I have found that I am led by where my focus is. If I focus on healthy activities for me, like meetings or walking or reading or pursuing my hobby photography, I feel good at the end of the day. If I focus on things that make me sad or upset me, I don't feel terrific when the sun goes down.

When I am unsure of what I'd like to do to feel good, I write out a list of things I love doing, then choose one or two to enhance my day.

Give it a try. It's way more fun than looking back and wishing things were different.

Hugs

UNHAPPY777

Thanks Ann the hard part is that he looks so good. He looks like a walking bill of health. But, because he doesn't live with me anymore it is hard to tell if he is just putting on a good front for when he comes around. You have to understand how many games have been played with me. He allowed the girl to disrespect me to the point of having to get a restraining order on her. I keep having to convince myself that he doesn't have the abilty to love anyone at this time because he is so busy detsroying himself.

teke

unhappy, my ah would make sure he was all cleaned up whenever he came to visit our kids or whenever he thought he would run into us. i don''t know, like you said, the games they play.

in time, you'll know whether or not he is using or not and you will also know whether or not he's living with the girl who he allowed to disrespect you. he says he's getting himself together for you guys, but that never worked for me personally. i tried getting sober for my family's sake but it wasn't until i was forced to get sober for Me, that i became serious about my recovery. try to pay attention to his actions and not his words and try to keep the focus on you. i pray that it all works out the way it is suppose to.