What to do...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 10
What to do...
Hi everyone, this is only my second post. I've been reading other peoples posts. They are helpful. We found out about 3 1/2 wks ago our 22 year old son is a heroin addict, shooting it. We approached him ... calmly he agreed to outpatient treatment he said he wanted help, never denied his use. He has been going to get his methadone every morning since. He is still working. He owes us a bit of money and hasn't had "extra" money to pay us back. His loan payment is late again (I'm co-signor). I know he is still using. I can't help but look in his room when he leaves the house. I'm finding fresh packets on a regular basis. I've talked to the people at the clinic, because he is an "adult" they can't give me specifics... but they tell me they ramp up the dose of methadone until they don't have to use any more and I shouldn't be concerned that he is still using. Does anyone have experience with this? Obviously I don't really believe anything he tells me. Another question, my son won't go to NA, he told me you can't go to NA if you are methadone. Again I don't believe him, but does anyone have knowledge about this??
Thanks, a worried mom!
Thanks, a worried mom!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lancaster, PA
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by llm 
His loan payment is late again (I'm co-signor).!
Make sure you pay this--- regardless if you are 'just a co-signer' it effects your credit EQUALLY!
A slow-pay loan can seriously drive down your credit. It's signed for, nothing you can do about it now..... just make sure it's paid for your own credit standing.
Hope things get better for you.
Love,
cess
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 71
I have a 19 yr old AS. He is also a H addict.We have been going thru this nightmare for over 2 years... Sorry to say...It will probably get way worse before it gets better.
I finally had to kick my son out this past monday...
Do you go with him to the clinic? Do you see him get his dose? My son was on suboxone...and unless I sat there and watched him take his dose...he would sell the pill to get his high.
They will ONLY quit when they are ready. No amount of pleading/begging/ or bribing will help them. Believe me...We have tried EVERYTHING!
My advice...go with your gut...If you think he's using...he is. My instinct has always been right...
Anyone is welcome at AA/NA meetings...my son went after his 1st rehab stint and he was on suboxone...
Keep checking in...This forum has literally saved my sanity!
Here's hoping to see our sons knitting one day! (hehehe)
Teresa
I finally had to kick my son out this past monday...
Do you go with him to the clinic? Do you see him get his dose? My son was on suboxone...and unless I sat there and watched him take his dose...he would sell the pill to get his high.
They will ONLY quit when they are ready. No amount of pleading/begging/ or bribing will help them. Believe me...We have tried EVERYTHING!
My advice...go with your gut...If you think he's using...he is. My instinct has always been right...
Anyone is welcome at AA/NA meetings...my son went after his 1st rehab stint and he was on suboxone...
Keep checking in...This forum has literally saved my sanity!
Here's hoping to see our sons knitting one day! (hehehe)
Teresa
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
first, I have to agree with Cess, as I used to work in finance. (as a collector for a major auto company) If you co-signed, it is your contract just as much as the buyers.
second, I'd go with my gut feeling, it's usually right. It's sounds like it's time for you to set some boundaries (ie if you are using you can't live in my home) Be ready to stand by your boundaries. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say it meanly.
Hugs from another mom.
Chris
don't know if you are going to alanon/naranon meetings, however they saved my life. SR support is wonderful, f2f support is invaluable, also.
second, I'd go with my gut feeling, it's usually right. It's sounds like it's time for you to set some boundaries (ie if you are using you can't live in my home) Be ready to stand by your boundaries. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say it meanly.
Hugs from another mom.
Chris
don't know if you are going to alanon/naranon meetings, however they saved my life. SR support is wonderful, f2f support is invaluable, also.
NAIOU
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Last house on the block.
Posts: 359
This is my experience with methadone. I have been on methadone 2 times for 2 years each time. I haven't been on methadone for 10 years now. At higher doses methadone will block the effects of other opiates. Your son is either not dosing and using H or he is dosing and trying to get high which will not happen. The only requirement for membership to NA is a desire to not use. There are quite a few people on methadone that go to NA. Hope this helps. Good luck to you and your son.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by logo
This is my experience with methadone. I have been on methadone 2 times for 2 years each time. I haven't been on methadone for 10 years now. At higher doses methadone will block the effects of other opiates. Your son is either not dosing and using H or he is dosing and trying to get high which will not happen. The only requirement for membership to NA is a desire to not use. There are quite a few people on methadone that go to NA. Hope this helps. Good luck to you and your son.
Same goes for Suboxone which is easy to trade for DOC.
It's not uncommon for someone on Methadone maintenance or subs to swap one addicton for another because they are not ready to live life on life's terms.....which is where a recovery program may help. Recovery programs are tools, not cures.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 611
Originally Posted by llm
I'm finding fresh packets on a regular basis.
Here's your confirmation here. There shouldn't be any doubts. Believe what is in front of you rather than what you would like (him not using).
I've talked to the people at the clinic, because he is an "adult" they can't give me specifics... but they tell me they ramp up the dose of methadone until they don't have to use any more and I shouldn't be concerned that he is still using. Does anyone have experience with this?
They may amp up the dose as it blocks the feeling of Heroin.. however, if he is using Heroin while on the Methadone, he's playing Russian Roulette as he will use more Heroin on top of the Methadone to feel the effects. At the very least, encourage him to get educated about Methadone. Also, like OTL said, he could be cheeking the Methadone and trading it for his DOC.
Obviously I don't really believe anything he tells me.
And you shouldn't/ An active addict should never be trusted.
Another question, my son won't go to NA, he told me you can't go to NA if you are methadone.
Complete and total BS!! There are some home groups that believe that if you are on ANY substances then you aren't necessarily clean. However, there are some groups that don't believe that. It's just a matter of him finding THAT group that will accept him while taking Methadone. Also, he can chose to not disclose that in a NA meeting and get what he needs out of it.
Again I don't believe him, but does anyone have knowledge about this??
Thanks, a worried mom!
Here's your confirmation here. There shouldn't be any doubts. Believe what is in front of you rather than what you would like (him not using).
I've talked to the people at the clinic, because he is an "adult" they can't give me specifics... but they tell me they ramp up the dose of methadone until they don't have to use any more and I shouldn't be concerned that he is still using. Does anyone have experience with this?
They may amp up the dose as it blocks the feeling of Heroin.. however, if he is using Heroin while on the Methadone, he's playing Russian Roulette as he will use more Heroin on top of the Methadone to feel the effects. At the very least, encourage him to get educated about Methadone. Also, like OTL said, he could be cheeking the Methadone and trading it for his DOC.
Obviously I don't really believe anything he tells me.
And you shouldn't/ An active addict should never be trusted.
Another question, my son won't go to NA, he told me you can't go to NA if you are methadone.
Complete and total BS!! There are some home groups that believe that if you are on ANY substances then you aren't necessarily clean. However, there are some groups that don't believe that. It's just a matter of him finding THAT group that will accept him while taking Methadone. Also, he can chose to not disclose that in a NA meeting and get what he needs out of it.
Again I don't believe him, but does anyone have knowledge about this??
Thanks, a worried mom!
Keep coming here.... there is lots of support here for you. It's okay to worry but when it's affecting your well being... then you will need support for yourself. Keep :praying. That's all we can do for our addicts.
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