Yesterday he passed the drug test-hmmm!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 472
Yesterday he passed the drug test-hmmm!
Ah had to go to his monthly parole office appointment yesterday. He passed the drug test. How long does meth stay in ones system?
All the signs are there but he says no. So surprise, going to bum a ride to Wal-Mart for a drug test. Yes, he has my truck and he has yet to sign it back over to me. That is the main reason he is still here right now. I bought it new in 2000, let him use it for collateral to buy a camper before he went to prison, got a paid receipt from him and paid the loan of with my last bit of money.
I wake up a 4am-dogs are barking outside my window. He had left them out. He is gone. He worked on a boat motor last night. Left a note saying he could not sleep-went to see if boat motor will run-don't be mad. Hope you are feeling better (had a monster headache and neck ache last night) Didn't want to wake me.
He is kidding me right-where does one go to see if a boat motor starts at 4 in the morning? At least it is a new excuse. I actually had to laugh at it. If and when the truck makes it home, off I go. Going to tear it apart and see if he has anything in it. He was always so good at hiding his stuff.
I have not had a drink in over 3 years and I tell you, I sure could go for a big old bottle with a long straw.
Biding my time. he will bury himself sooner or later. I know I have to call my cop friend and tell him what I suspect-just to keep me out of anything that may happen.
Going to be a long day here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All the signs are there but he says no. So surprise, going to bum a ride to Wal-Mart for a drug test. Yes, he has my truck and he has yet to sign it back over to me. That is the main reason he is still here right now. I bought it new in 2000, let him use it for collateral to buy a camper before he went to prison, got a paid receipt from him and paid the loan of with my last bit of money.
I wake up a 4am-dogs are barking outside my window. He had left them out. He is gone. He worked on a boat motor last night. Left a note saying he could not sleep-went to see if boat motor will run-don't be mad. Hope you are feeling better (had a monster headache and neck ache last night) Didn't want to wake me.
He is kidding me right-where does one go to see if a boat motor starts at 4 in the morning? At least it is a new excuse. I actually had to laugh at it. If and when the truck makes it home, off I go. Going to tear it apart and see if he has anything in it. He was always so good at hiding his stuff.
I have not had a drink in over 3 years and I tell you, I sure could go for a big old bottle with a long straw.
Biding my time. he will bury himself sooner or later. I know I have to call my cop friend and tell him what I suspect-just to keep me out of anything that may happen.
Going to be a long day here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
Moms,
Why waste your money and time with a drug test?
What will it prove?
Do you need some type of validation that his behavior is wrong?
Take the focus off him. You can't control him. You're a willing participant in this lifestyle. You're not a victim. He's just doing what addicts do.
The real question...what are YOU going to do to make your life better?
Why waste your money and time with a drug test?
What will it prove?
Do you need some type of validation that his behavior is wrong?
Take the focus off him. You can't control him. You're a willing participant in this lifestyle. You're not a victim. He's just doing what addicts do.
The real question...what are YOU going to do to make your life better?
Clever Yak
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ---
Posts: 4,360
Why bother tearing up the boat when it'll waste your time? What happens if you do find something? You'll tell the cops and they'll do nothing because you can't really prove that it's his. You're only proving yourself to be more codie by going to look for that stuff. Detaching is difficult, but it's his problem, not your's. I think sometimes we try to interfere with life's course too much. What's meant to happen, will happen in due time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I have not had a drink in over 3 years and I tell you, I sure could go for a big old bottle with a long straw.
When I got out of rehab, returning to the EXAH was not an option because I wouldn't have lasted a week in that situation.
Self-preservation definitely kicked in.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
My exAH doc was meth also. He wouldn't use say 3-4 days before he knew he had a drug test for his PO.
If you get sick and tired of dealing with this chaos and he won't leave on his own free will, you can always call the PO and tell them your suspicions and they'll come out for a drug test at a time unknown to him so he can't get around it. Don't feel bad if you do this... it's your home and you deserve to a life thats drug free and full of PEACE and JOY.
I know you're not getting that now... I lived that life so long... (((HUGS)))
If you get sick and tired of dealing with this chaos and he won't leave on his own free will, you can always call the PO and tell them your suspicions and they'll come out for a drug test at a time unknown to him so he can't get around it. Don't feel bad if you do this... it's your home and you deserve to a life thats drug free and full of PEACE and JOY.
I know you're not getting that now... I lived that life so long... (((HUGS)))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 472
Neighbor down the road and I went to town. Got home about 11 amd low amd behold he is at the front door. Said he had been to gram to set up the yard sale. Duh,I was not having a yard sale until next week. Says he lost track of the time and had been working on the boat motor at a convicted felon friends house. Told him it does not take 7 hrs. to try to start a boat motor. Hr digned the title to the truck and said I hope you are happy. Well, I would have been but he had the truck at grams and I went to get it and it is gone!!!!!!! Yes, a nine year old truck is IMPORTANT, I have to have a way to get around in this rural area. I bought it before I ever met him and I want the truck. He needs it to run the roads and visit the trashy people.
I did not call around looking for him-what would be the use. I have not called my cop friend-he would be furious. Whatever AH is doing it will catch up with him I am sure. Parole violations, he has quite a few-staying out all night-being with convicted felons and a few others.
His clothes and belongings are here and I guess I will pack them up today. Although before he went to prison the last time he never picked anything up.
Well, going to declare today lazy day and not do much of anything. No, I was just kidding about a big old bottle, I am never ever going to drink again. If I can make it until the end of this month when I get my Social Security check-life will be good again. Stress from bills,cutoff notices, etc. My goodness, to get rid of the stress will do my heart good.
I did not call around looking for him-what would be the use. I have not called my cop friend-he would be furious. Whatever AH is doing it will catch up with him I am sure. Parole violations, he has quite a few-staying out all night-being with convicted felons and a few others.
His clothes and belongings are here and I guess I will pack them up today. Although before he went to prison the last time he never picked anything up.
Well, going to declare today lazy day and not do much of anything. No, I was just kidding about a big old bottle, I am never ever going to drink again. If I can make it until the end of this month when I get my Social Security check-life will be good again. Stress from bills,cutoff notices, etc. My goodness, to get rid of the stress will do my heart good.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: buffalo ny
Posts: 167
Originally Posted by outonalimb 
Moms,
Why waste your money and time with a drug test?
What will it prove?
Do you need some type of validation that his behavior is wrong?
Take the focus off him. You can't control him. You're a willing participant in this lifestyle. You're not a victim. He's just doing what addicts do.
The real question...what are YOU going to do to make your life better?
Why waste your money and time with a drug test?
What will it prove?
Do you need some type of validation that his behavior is wrong?
Take the focus off him. You can't control him. You're a willing participant in this lifestyle. You're not a victim. He's just doing what addicts do.
The real question...what are YOU going to do to make your life better?
First, there a many ways to cheat on the drug test. If you think he's using, he is, or he's close to it. My RAH says he relapsed back into addition behaviors before he actually relapsed with drugs.
Second, HE IS LYING. That's what addicts do. Don't torture yourself by trying to figure out what's a lie and what's the truth. It's easier if you just assume it's all a lie.
Third...what are YOU going to do to make your life better??
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by rayofsunshine
My exAH doc was meth also. He wouldn't use say 3-4 days before he knew he had a drug test for his PO.
If you get sick and tired of dealing with this chaos and he won't leave on his own free will, you can always call the PO and tell them your suspicions and they'll come out for a drug test at a time unknown to him so he can't get around it. Don't feel bad if you do this... it's your home and you deserve to a life thats drug free and full of PEACE and JOY.
I know you're not getting that now... I lived that life so long... (((HUGS)))
If you get sick and tired of dealing with this chaos and he won't leave on his own free will, you can always call the PO and tell them your suspicions and they'll come out for a drug test at a time unknown to him so he can't get around it. Don't feel bad if you do this... it's your home and you deserve to a life thats drug free and full of PEACE and JOY.
I know you're not getting that now... I lived that life so long... (((HUGS)))
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: 49th State
Posts: 41
Sorry you are going through this crisis right now. I have been there many times. I agree with the posting that asked the reason for going through the truck--for your safety, i.e. if you get stopped for any reason and they search the truck and find the stuff and you get the blame; or is it just to be able to say to him "You're lying!!"?
If there is ANY way you can detach from him, even just a little bit, it will really help your serenity. Right now it sounds like you are pretty caught up in the whirlwind of the crisis. I know, it's so hard not to be. But go for a walk, say the serenity prayer over and over, repeat the first step over and over, 'I am powerless over meth, and my life has become unmanageable.' Do WHATEVER it takes to find serenity and not threaten your sobriety.
Just Remember:
YOU CAN'T CONTROL IT
YOU DIDN'T CAUSE IT
YOU CAN'T CURE IT.
As long as you stay worried over what he is doing, he doesn't have to be. He's got you doing his "work" for him.
If there is ANY way you can detach from him, even just a little bit, it will really help your serenity. Right now it sounds like you are pretty caught up in the whirlwind of the crisis. I know, it's so hard not to be. But go for a walk, say the serenity prayer over and over, repeat the first step over and over, 'I am powerless over meth, and my life has become unmanageable.' Do WHATEVER it takes to find serenity and not threaten your sobriety.
Just Remember:
YOU CAN'T CONTROL IT
YOU DIDN'T CAUSE IT
YOU CAN'T CURE IT.
As long as you stay worried over what he is doing, he doesn't have to be. He's got you doing his "work" for him.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 472
In all honesty I have done nothing regarding AH-whatever he does he has always been caught and paid the price. Same behavior as before-just thought it was without drugs. But I think I know the difference between being "wound up" and meth. Plus, he has things to do and I need to let him do them. Duh, I am not stopping him but it sure would be nice if I could use the truck just to go get groceries. I don't want to call my cop friend, the parole officer or anyone else. I just don't want to do it because I am not positive. He knew I felt bad today, same as when I had a mild heart attack in 07-thanks to stress. I have always been high strung and this crap stresses me. No way to get around the stress. I guess I will just vent and bide my time. He will do himself in and this time he will not see his free world again. I did unwind for a while today-4 huge bulls got out and decided to go up and down the road, wondered why my dogs were going nuts. Darn friendly bulls too-a man came along and got them back to where they belong. My pit bull jumped the fence and was trying to help and the bulls just ignored her. I was going to go through the truck to see if anything was in it because I certainly would not want to get caught with anything, although the whole county knows exactly what I think of drugs. They also seize vehicles here.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Moms, my heart goes out to you because I know the obsession of "needing" the truth, even when my heart already knows.
My health also became more fragile, my life also became unmanageable, and I was living in his addiction more than I ever lived in my recovery or peace.
It took a long time of doing what you are doing before I could "accept" that no matter how hard I tried to change the outcome, it just wasn't mine to control.
Letting go only came when I exhausted myself and finally accepted that I could not live that way for one single day more. I said a prayer, gave the whole thing to God, and began taking care of myself.
Change didn't come easy. What was familiar, no matter how insane, was less scary than the options of change. Until I realized that my life just could not be worse than it was that day when I gave up and gave in and let go.
My prayers go out for you, that you too can find a better path of peace each day. It's there and you can have it, but first you have to let go of the chaos and obsession.
Hugs and more prayers because I know that living like this is not what your dreams are made of.
My health also became more fragile, my life also became unmanageable, and I was living in his addiction more than I ever lived in my recovery or peace.
It took a long time of doing what you are doing before I could "accept" that no matter how hard I tried to change the outcome, it just wasn't mine to control.
Letting go only came when I exhausted myself and finally accepted that I could not live that way for one single day more. I said a prayer, gave the whole thing to God, and began taking care of myself.
Change didn't come easy. What was familiar, no matter how insane, was less scary than the options of change. Until I realized that my life just could not be worse than it was that day when I gave up and gave in and let go.
My prayers go out for you, that you too can find a better path of peace each day. It's there and you can have it, but first you have to let go of the chaos and obsession.
Hugs and more prayers because I know that living like this is not what your dreams are made of.
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