jjmk

My husband went to rehab this morning for abusing pain pills. I've been looking for some books that I can read so that I can help and support him in the right ways when he comes home, but I haven't been able to find much. I'm sure its a matter of just not searching the right words so do any of you all have any suggestions on what books I can read? Also if you have any suggestions on books about rebuilding our relationship so it is more healthy and I can learn to trust him again that would really help too!! Thanks

outtolunch

Whoa ! Ever wonder what he's reading so that he can better support you during this tough time and how he can earn your trust back?


As for you, please consider starting with Co-dependent No More, by Melody Beattie. You can find it in your local library or used on Amazon.com

laurie6781

Welcome to SR. You have found a great place with lots of Experience, Strength and Hope (ES&H).

The best way you can 'support' your hubby is to

Work on you

Stand back

Watch his ACTIONS

His ACTIONS not his words will tell you when the trust will start to return.

You might also want to check out some Naranon or Al-Anon meetings in your area (many times there are lots more Al-Anon meetings that would fit your schedule).

As said above "Co Dependent No More" is a great place to start.

Your best support will be you setting your 'boundaries' on what and what now will be acceptable behavior on his part.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care so very much.

Love and hugs,

jerect

x3 with the codependent no more book.. that book has literally turned my life around..

As for the trust, that has to be earned back and I will tell you this, it takes a long time if not ever to trust them again.

Some rehabs do offer counseling for the spouses and families and an after care program for the family once the addict is back home. You might want to check into those things too but do it for yourself and not your AH.

I have read every book that I can get my hands on about addiction in a futial attempt to help my AH but the best ones I have read are ones to help myself so give codependent no more a try, I'm willing to bet your local library has a copy so you wouldn't even have to buy it.

littlebird77

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
by Melody Beattie

I don't know the title, but its called the "Big Book" Its basically the blue book you see on the bookshelves for Alcoholics Anonymous/ Narcotics Anonymous
You can find this online:
A.A. Big Book

I enjoy a lot of the books Hazelden publishing offers:
Hazelden -- Drug rehab alcohol addiction treatment
They also have daily meditations you can have sent to your email everyday.

I enjoyed the book "Cracked" by Dr. Drew Pinsky

Because part of recovery, YOUR recovery is finding your higher power I've picked religious books and searched which one worked for me. I will leave what religion out because I don't want to influence you because what Higher Power works for me might not work for you. Your relationship with your Higher Power is yours and yours to have, no one can take this away.

Go to meetings. They are so awkward and scary in the beginning, but we have all been there and you will feel so much better.

This board and support groups are great, but be sure to go to face to face meetings!

itisatruth

First off...welcome to SR, I'm glad you found us and hope you read all the stickies at the top of this forum and spend some time reading what others have to share. This place has really been a source of growth and acceptance for me and I wish you the same.

I felt like I needed to reply because my AH has had been addicted to pain pills too and has gone to rehab more than once. My own experience has taught me that I can't solve his problems for him, he must do that, and that I need to find my own peace & serenity by taking care of myself first and foremost. I can't be a good mother, friend, lover, daughter, wife, or anything until I can be the best I can for me. Take care of yourself first and the rest has a way of working itself out.

I have to be honest and say I bought "Codependent No More" and didn't finish it (and I love reading). It just didn't resonate for me....maybe I need to try again. But I do read and post here and go to alanon...and between the two, I have been able to find myself again, realize how I had been neglecting my own needs, and work towards making my life good again. It is only then, I believe, that I will be able to give to a healthy, loving, and trusting relationship.

PS ~ I don't know what your AH was taking but want to give you a "heads up", withdrawals can be very difficult and can last a long time, so if you are going to stick around, be prepared for a roller coaster. Hugs~ Rica