Momsrainbow

Tried to post this before but it got lost. RAH has been home for 3 months on parole and all has been almost perfect, but I may be jumping to conclusions but I can foresee PROBLEMS.

His mom is in the hospital with terminal lung cancer. We were lst told of this from a neighbor down the road where a druggie told her (we were not home). We went to see her early in the am so we would not run into his family. Druggies, felons, molestors, just sickos. That went well. We went again and ran into 2, it was ok. He talks to one this am and just feels he has to be involved-not much he can do. So we drop him off at the hospital. Neighbor and I go to WM and ran right into more druggies. The old-hi-you look good-how is RT-ya'll are divorced aren't you? You are getting divorced aren't you? They got a simple yes and a no. I left with the dog food. I just reminds me of 2 yrs. ago and I simply will not have it.

He said not to worry when we dropped him off-he would be ok. Seems like I have heard this before. I can just see prison time, prison rehab going right down the drain.

He knows just one mistake and I am done!!!!!!!

I guess I am jumping the gun but-----------------ya'll know that gut feeling.

Guess I just need to vent big time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blood pressure is up and darn heart dr. retired and no replacement-ugh!!!!!! New dr. just not in the budget.

Any help, including I told you so?

greeteachday

I found often when I started "future tripping" I missed the good in today and often my worries were for naught. I think it is good that you trust your gut, but other than holding on to that sense of reality and keeping yourself safe (financially and emotionallly - I don't recall you being concerned about physical threats) hard as it is, the best advice I can offer is to let go and let a power greater than you handle the burden. You know you can't control what he will do, so worrying will only make you sick.

I do hope your gut feelings are wrong and that he gets through this rough patch with some good life lessons and continued sobriety. Take care of yourself too!

Ann

Ditto to what Greet said.

Worry never changed the outcome for me, and sometimes confused my "gut", and when that happened I found staying connected to my support and turning it all over to God, brought me peace, no matter what happened.

Keeping you both in my prayers, that all will unfold in a healthy way.

Hugs

lightseeker

another ditto....you know what your bottom lines are so you know that you are safe. You've been taking good care of yourself and just continue on with that. People are going to do what they are going to do. We all have to learn in our own time. We can decide whether to take a ringside seat to it all though.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

hope213

onhe day at a time does it. live in today & enjoy what u can. prayers for you both.

Momsrainbow

Just a little update and a thank you! AH is still doing better than anyone could ever wish for. Says he will never go back to the point where he was before. He seems sincere and I do believe that is his intent.

His mom is home-two family members and AH are staying along with hospice coming in. Unfortunately, she lives 3 doors from the nasty, dirty druggie family he grew up with (some may remember they are the ones who trashed my rent house, left it knee deep in all their belonging except for beds and a tv. Left all their drugs, needles, etc.) Well, this bunch has been to visit his mom because they grew up together. Seems the only time they show up is when he is there. Mom was told he has been off drugs for a yr., sister in law says more like 4-6 months. I think he is looking to AH to get $$ again or to find drugs. These people are trash!!!!!!They won't look for jobs-love their welfare checks. Well, I blew up and told him if he even thought about associating with them I was done. He said he had no intention of it but could not through them out. One other druggie stopped by and said hi to him. What is it with these people-do they not want to see someone make it, have a somewhat normal life and have something in life.?????? I can just see them trying to suck him back in. Yeah, I am the Yankee witch who does not understand the South-BS. My kinfolk came to Ar. in a covered wagon.

He shocked me late today-I thought he was taking his 12 hrs. today-but he says he has to stay tonight too.

I know these are his choices and I pray he continues to make the right ones.

Just needed to vent a little. Now that gram is gone and my family is all of out state and 90% of my friends have passed away, it makes things difficult. Getting OLD!!!!!!

Thanks All.

Impurrfect

I'm sorry the old friends are still around, but he CAN stay in recovery if he wants to. I work with people who use and sell as a "side job" and it doesn't interest me at all. If anything, it reminds me of the life I don't want to go back to.

Remember, it's up to him, so try not to get too stressed about it. One day at a time works for the family members as well as the A's

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

rose

Oh boy you have a lot on your plate. Just remember to keep yourself and that it has nothing to do with what you do or don't do, his HP has put him in this space, how he deals with it is his choice.

Rose

Ann

Sending big hugs because it really does get old, even when things appear fine, sometimes.

The outcome will be what it will...either he will stay clean or will use, and sadly, we cannot control any of that. But taking care of yourself is the best way to ensure that regardless of what happens, YOU will be okay.

You both remain in my prayers. I love the concept that God can do for us (and them) what we cannot do for ourselves.

Big Hugs

Momsrainbow

Well, he ended up staying with his mom for about 30 hrs. I guess I appear to be the bad guy for not staying there too. Am I? I moved to Ar. in 89 to help take care of gramps, mom, and gram. Also, a man I lived with for 13 yrs. who passed in 2001. I took care of them by self mostly. I am still trying to help my daughter settle grams estate and it is time consuming. Dang, he has a large family here to help. Now everyone seems to have a reason not to come-duh-sounds like they are using him. He called this am and I was out with the dogs-never checked the caller ID until later. Called and he said forget it I have a ride to community service and hung up. I called the sister in law and she said he said he was walking back to his moms at noon. Gosh, seems like I am an A$$ for not sitting by the phone.???? I run down the road when they have something they need-like a major bed accident they don't care to clean up. Now, it seems like they want him there all the time-I don't agree with this at all!!!!!!! His aunt was a head nurse until she got caught stealing drugs, she should know what to do-but wow-she is going on vacation for 10 days.

I am just stressing over the whole mess. I have a call into my attorney to see how to speed up grams estate. There are 8 of us that are getting a monthly check but daughter is dragging her feet & not talking to anyone, not signing papers to tranfer property or set up a new trust fund. I am sick of 6 calling and emailing me about what is going on-I don't have a clue. I know I want to try to sell the rent house and get out of this horrible county in Ar.-along with my dog, birds and outside cats. Don't have a clue anymore what AH is doing. Going to check with attorney about what he can and cannot do or get. Everything I own was inherited one way or the other. Can't touch that.

Dang, time to take the dogs out and play hid and seek. They can get me to laugh.

Am I wrong? or just stressed????? I know I will be ok but I kind of hate it when anyone jerks my chain.