MyJoey

I just got a call from the rehab my son is in. He is not allowed out on his 6 hours leave today and he is on lock down for the next 30 days, meaning he will not get his first 36 hour home visit on July 4th.
Joey and a few other boys in the rehab have been using (speed) the last few weeks. I guess, I will find out more when I go visit this afternoon, but I am not asking questions. I am glad he is where he is at! I am so sick of this ride (as winnie would say), but I do think I am becoming little numb to it. I just wish Joey would see how much the drugs are costing him and how much he is giving up to use. I knew my gut feeling on graduation was he would use again, and it was right. The only good news in this is I am not falling apart, I do think the meetings are really helping me deal. I just wish we had meetings around here more then once a week.

JustAYak

Sorry to hear it...but you're right, he's in the right place at the moment.
Speed is a nasty one, hope he doesn't continue with it.
Positive thoughts for you

breakingfree88

Im sorry to hear that he's using again but you're right, at least he is where he's at!! Just continue to remember to put yourself first. We can want so many things for the ones we love but it comes with no guarantee for the outcome. But when we put ourselves first, we can rest assured that we will see things begin to fall into place. I'm proud of you.
Love,
Holly

KariSue

I'm so sorry to hear that. You're right that at least he's in the right place.

I'm not familiar with the rehab process. How would they get speed while they are under supervision?

It's great that you're getting support as well. All the best to you.

KariSue

Ann

Atta girl! We cannot control their choices, no matter how poor they may be, but we can work our recovery, go to meetings and take wonderful care of us.

I'm sorry he is using, he's lucky they let him continue, many rehabs do not. My prayers go out for him and my utmost admiration goes out for you and how you are handling this.

Hugs

Maggiemac

Oh No!!!! I feel so bad for you. I am praying for you and Joey. He is not ready my friend hope he is soon.
Love ya,
Maggiemac

MyJoey

Thanks so much for the support. I just got back from the rehab, it appears two of the kids up there are on two different dosages, of ADD med's. I think the name is Concerta, but I'm not sure, the leaders do administer the drugs and watch them, but we all know how cleaver addicts/ kids can be, they were saving them for my son. Two pills were found in his room, different dosages. I didn't ask Joey any questions just let him talk needless to say he was really down (aren't all addicts when their caught). He said all the stuff addicts say I don't know why, I didn't even want to, now I lost all my house leaves, His girl friend Denise is not going to wait for him blah blah blah. I just listened and made small talk of the day, but before I left I did leave him with two papers I printed out before leaving home on "How to survive in prison" he just looked at me puzzled and I said Joey I just always want to supply you with as much information as I can, you are almost 18 and it looks like this is where you are headed and you might want some tips. The choice is and has always been yours.
My husband wasn't going to come up at all and to my surprise he did show up, not with me (we are at different levels in our recovery) He just told Joey I am not sure why I came I guess because my hope is one day you understand I love you and just want you to get it........I was really proud of him, normally he would just shut down and couldn't even look at Joey, it hurt so much. On my way home I couldn't get over how at peace I was and am, I just thanked my HP because this is starting to work for me..............to all the ones not going to meetings all I can say Is GO TO THE MEETINGS it really works if you let it. I just pray I can stay on this track, I know all days are different but today is good, crisis and all. Many thanks again for the support. Julie

Jason, I hope you are doing good. My son has found our DOC. ((Hugs))

Ann, I think the only reason he is still there is his age and it is court ordered, but that could change when his PO shows up next week, they could pull him out, and place him in DT I really don't know, we had to let the state take custody of him in order to get him into this place, of course the state took us for child support to the tune of $2,000 a month so I guess it depends how you look at it. LOL

Seren

Oh, I'm sorry to hear about the relapse, but it sounds as though he is exactly where he needs to be!!! Hugs and prayers to YOUR continued recovery as well as your Joey's.

HG

Spiritual Seeker

recovery is a process...it takes patience.
Sounds like you're learning not to "freak-out" about all the bumps along the way.
Your recovery shines!

shockozulu

I'm with Spiritual Seeker here. This post is filled with so much recovery compared to the first posts of yours I read. Congrats on your growth and know your family is in my thoughts.

Impurrfect

((Julie))

I'm sorry he found a way to use, but I am SO PROUD OF YOU!!! I really like what you printed up for him! Give him something to think about!!!

He's still acting like a little kid, trying to get his way, pushing at his boundaries to see how far he can go before he gets in serious trouble. In other words, he's acting like an A

Unfortunately, if he doesn't learn the lesson this time, he'll get another opportunity. I'm glad he's where he is and that you are getting the support and serenity YOU need.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

winnie12

Dang Julie - i was hoping he would get it without having to loose anymore but he just obviously needs this lesson. like my son he may need a few more. i'm proud of you for sitting back and getting out of his way while he learns them. its hard to have those rose colored glasses torn from our faces but when we clearly see what we are dealing with it is the best thing for him. You and I are doing something that many parents look back on and wish they had done. keep the faith - it may not be in our time but i think for both of our boys there will come a time that their maturity catches up and they start reaching for what they are truly capable of.

MyJoey

Aw Winnie,

I know your right, and that day will come for both our sons, we just don't know when.......all up to them. I am ok with that, and I pray that the peace I am feeling will stay with me because I am so enjoying it.

What I really want to know is how the weekend when for you? Please tell, I hope it was wonderful.

Girls thank you so much for the nice comments......I really enjoy them and it helps so much to know I am where I should be.

BigSis

My kid's HP is so wonderful - He just keeps giving her opportunities for sobriety. And every time she stumbles, He still finds another way. Nothing she has encountered has ever been as horrible as I once imagined. And with all these chances, the odds are good she'll eventually surrender (damn, that poor girl got double ego whammy with THESE parents, I gotta say).

Whatever the rocks in the road that turn your son off the path, just remember the path to recovery is a twisty, turny son of a gun... but there are many a shortcut that WE can't see, but HP can. This turn is one he must need to take to get to where he needs to be. I wish him well.

I love your detatchment... your recovery shines. ((hugs))

Ann

Meetings saved my life, literally. I had my heels dug in pretty deep, so didn't go to meetings until I was exhausted, neurotic, and emotionally drained and just kick myself that I didn't go sooner. It's a lifeline when we are just treading water in the sea of chaos.

Joey remains in my prayers. I never give up hope for any of our addicts because I have seen so many "hopeless" ones, just "get it" one day and never look back. Thing is, WE don't get to pick the timing, God does that and His timing is just about perfect.

Mama sized hugs.

winnie12

Weekend was great. the party was a bit unnerving because i only knew a few people there but there were lots of kids there and i had my camera so i just took lots of photos - camera helps me stay in the mix without the stress.
funny thing was when everyone had left my friend says "wow that makes me nervous having that many people in my house - i'm not used to it." haha - guess i wasnt the only one.

MyJoey

Big Sis............I just love the ego whammy, my son has enough egooooooo to make the world turn. LOL

Ann, I just think you are wonderful. I admire you so much, you have been to places many of us will never go and your recovery is amazing. You and your son will remain in my prayers also. ((((Hugs))))

(((Alera))) I just read some of my old post, while they still bring tears to my eyes I do believe things would be a little different today.

Winnie, Winnie, Winnie................Screaming, I am so happy for you.

Angelic17

Julie, I searched about and found your thread about your son using again. I'm so so sorry because I know how sad that is for Joeys parents. I have been there and it tore my heart out, and made the hair fall out of my head. It's the worst news for a mother. However, On the other hand, relapse is a part of recovery. Don't give up on your son. Just keep marching him right back into recovery. The only help you should give him is in recovery. Do nothing else for him. Stop running and doing, and watch how fast he cuts his bull. When I no longer did another thing for my son, he finally stopped using. He is doing good, and I wanted to share that with you. I'm crying sitting here knowing that your son still doesn't get it. It took my Joey a long time to finally get it. Your son is so young, and he will get it eventually. I will offer my daily rosary for your son Joseph. Dear Lord hear my prayer. Help Joey to understand and to get it. God is good, and he always answers me. Maybe not when I want him to, but when he is ready, and the time is right. I'm here if you need a friend to talk to. Hugs n Love to you and your son, Donna