eggdogg1234

So my AW stopped by the house yesterday to see me, and we ended up in bed. Then she left. I feel that I made a huge mistake. I have done so good at making boundaries, and keeping my distance up to this point. I feel like I let myself down. Anyone else here had / have setbacks?

breakingfree88

Just pick up where you left off and keep on keepin' on. I had those "type" :-o of setbacks until I moved 2hrs. away. Honestly that's the only thing that prevents them now. But I just remember that I always feel worse afterwards.

eggdogg1234

It is strange, one of the emotions that has been very quiet through this mess was anger. But as the door closed and she left I got so angry with everything; myself for saying yes when I meant no, her for destroying everything we had, etc. I guess now would be the time to turn in the separation papers to the lawyers and get this thing moving faster.

Nikki2003

Yes I had set backs like this with my addicted husband. As someone else said just pick up where you left off. It is so hard when it is a spouse. That bond is so hard to ignore and I always had hope that things would get better. They only got worse. It took him getting a girlfriend after being with me a little over a week earlier for me to wake up. He is now 2 1/2 hours away and there is a no contact order in place.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself. This is hard even for the strongest person.

winnie12

Shoot i think i wrote the book on that mistake - just try to shake it off and move forward. we're only human and those feelings dont just go away overnight.

bluejay6

It's common.....whether it's an addict relationship or a "normal" relationship that's on the rocks or post-divorce.

Be upfront with her that it was a mistake (it was....you both need to be making choices based on present reality and future consequences) and re-set your boundaries.

Start again from today. It's a spiral upward, not a straight line up.

All best, eggdogg.