justtired

Hi All ~ I just wanted to write an update to my thread regarding my abf who knows logically that he could have a problem, but just can't yet "get it".

I wavered back and forth after we had talked.. feeling good about it one minute and feeling like I was just being manipulated the next. I decided to wait to see what his actions told me. So far they tell me that his words are not all manipulation. He went in and talked to his psychologist and was honest about everything. He told him about the problems between us and how scared he is to lose everything.

I think that the best thing is that the lines of communication are opened. He is completely open minded to whatever I have to say. He WANTS to know the truth so he can do something about it. I think I mentioned at one time that my abf was a philosophy major. While I was gone, he had started writing a philosophical paper on the cycle of addiction. I told him yesterday that an interesting topic would be for him to try to prove that he IS as addict. He is taking me up on my challenge. Boy will this be interesting!

Anyway, I just wanted to share my update. Even his doctor isn't sure what to do with him. They are considering long-term suboxone treatment which might be a good option as he does have legitimate chronic pain issues. His doc told him to talk to me about it. I'm not sure what insight i can offer other than that SOMETHING needs to change. We're going to keep talking about it. He's going to keep talking to his doc about it. I feel a little lighter right now. Like maybe there is a little hope that things just might work out. Things may still come crashing down, but it's nice to have some relief at this exact moment. I'll keep you all updated...

In the meantime... once again for reading.

ex D-Boy

great news justtired. sounds like he is really willing to do whatever it takes in order to get clean.

hope to hear more good news from you in the future!

Daisy09

I'm so glad to hear you're getting a break - sometimes just a little breather can be a huge help. You're right, things may come crashing down, but that's just as true of life without an addiction. Hope things continue to be positive.

~Daisy

justtired

Thank you so much ex. I really hope that he will do what he needs to do. It's frustrating listening to him try to figure it out when it's really just so clear! I am praying that he comes up with the right answer!

Freedom1990

Now that you've established what he's supposedly going to be doing, what are you doing for your own recovery from the effects of his addiction?

I too was convinced that the answer was so 'clear' for my EXAH when we were still married. Little did I know that both he and God had very different plans than what I thought was best.

Today I find my efforts are much better directed at working on myself, and the addict in my life, my 31 year old daughter, is free to live her life as she sees fit without interference from me.