whereami

Ok, so one of the things we learn is not to enable and to be up front about addicts. Not allow them to control us or our choices. My exababys dad is in another state and his mom called whining about him skipping work, not bringing home money and overall being weird about priorities. i.e. going to the movies with a girlfriend instead of paying child support. I told her that she should hand him a sanwich and his things and give him 24 hrs to vacate. Well, when he got home from his date he texted me saying "I hope you like making my life hell and making me wanna blow my head off" Sorry, but I didn't even want to talk to her and when I did it was because I wanted to "sign off" and let her know I don't care. Now I am fielding ugly messages. I turned off that phone and switched to a new one. It has like 3 bucks left on it and once its gone I am not putting anymore minutes on it. I feel like I did the right thing and maybe I shouldn't be so cold, but he has put me in debt, abandoned us without support and the court order will take a few months just to process in his state. I am doing everything I can to move on and am not answering his calls. I have also decided that his mom has to deal with it on her own terms she knows he is a loser, cant pay child support, skips work and acts like a player...why does she still deal with him and let him live there rent free playing around? I guess it is her problem now...I am signing off from the whole lot and though I was reading the texts, I think cutting the phone off completely will help me close the open sore.

Meanwhile, we have one week of school left and then I will be looking for a new job, my little peanut is crawling all over...and though aggravated to be at moms still, I know I am progressing slowly but surely in the right direction...

sorry for the long post...hope I still have friends and family here to tell me I am doing the best i can, as always any suggestions are welcome...

9 Today is the day I can look back on as the finish line of messing with crazy and my day to dance in the rain...

whereami

So how long is it going to take to accept boring and normal again?

Freedom1990

I suspect that if you are truly done talking to his mother, and he's not going to have any way to contact you either, you are on your way!

I know how difficult it is to cut all those sticky strings. I lost count of the harrassing phone calls I took from my EXAH before I finally got sick of it and started hanging up on him! (that was pre-caller ID days)

He finally got the message and left me alone.

laurie6781

I think it is an excellent idea to get a new number and do not give it out to any one that might give it to him or his mother.

I also think that once there is no contact at all you will see some of the fog and clouds lifting. You are doing a good thing.

I will send prayers and good thoughts your way for you to find a good job.

Also, the longer you go no contact, boring and normal will turn into peace and serenity and FUN. You will feel the load lighten a bit, you will find yourself smiling more, and yes even laughing.

You are doing what is best for you and your little one and for that you deserve



Love and hugs,

rose

I found that any contact I had with my exah family really put me into a bad place. They did the same as your in-laws, put him up for free, gave him a truck to drive, a cell phone and him mom would run him food every week. Here is a 43 year old man without a care in the world, mommy and daddy were taking care of him, all he had to worry about was getting his crack. Blood is thicker than water, that I do know.

With no contact from him or his family I have lost the knott that was lodged in my stomach. I learned to live life with our boys without having to depend on him or his family for any help what so ever.

You are taking great steps!

Rose

outtolunch

Boredom can be a form of learned helplessness....looking to the outside to fill the void within. Could this be why you continue to answer the phone?

There are a million and one ways to volunteer and give back to the community. It will also put you in proximity to others who do not seek out drama to relieve boredom.

whereami

Thank you I will try to find something to fill the void...I love playing with my little one but I know I need to make some friends who are stable and loving.