Mis

Hi Everyone,

I have a question. I don't know if anyone can answer it. I grew up with two A's and am pregnant by someone who is also an A. I left the father, but now I worry about protecting my son from drugs and alcohol. And he's not even born yet! I worry too much! But still I wonder...

Mis

Nikki2003

I wonder the same thing as you. My husband (soon to be ex) is the addict in our life. And I have 3 children from him. I worry about them growing up and him being a part of their lives.
Nikki

kj3880

The best way to protect your children from alcoholics and drug addicts coming into their lives? Get yourselves to Alanon or Naranon, get a sponsor and work your steps. Read all you can about codependency, because if you don't work on yourself, you will attract this same situation over and over, just as many of us have done here. Alanon and Naranon will also help you to learn ways to keep these people from getting involved in your life again. The people there have dealt with your exact situations. When you recover, your children benefit the most!

Love,
KJ

hello-kitty

Hi Mis. I understand your worries. I think the best that we can do is stay in the present and be a good example to our children. You are on the right track sweetie. You are going to be a wonderful mom!

winnie12

being someone that saw my son become an addict - if i could do it all again i would teach consequences and responsibility early. never give empty threats but always follow through on any consequence that I state no matter how hard it is. being consistent and teaching them this early shows them that for negative behavior there are negative effects - for positive behavior there is positive effects. stay involved in his live but dont smother because they need to make some mistakes in order to learn. have them involved in activities especially sports because it teaches a lot about responsibility and keeps them too busy to get distracted. praise more than critique and hug more than yell. more than anything i would have worked on myself more so that through my example i could have taught valuable lessons. in the end it may have not changed things so at some point we just pray and do the best we can.

MyJoey

Just to add a little to it. When they become teens know who their friends are, get to know the parents. Don't believe everything they tell you, check up on them. Be more of a parent and less of a friend. Most importantly just know even the best parents lose can their children to drugs, I know, I am one.

Mis

Thank you guys! I appreciate the feedback. I just need to trust in myself too that I will be a good mom. Its just so scary you know :o)

Latte

Trust but verify.

I also openly talk to my children about alcohol and drugs. We talk about it in an age appropriate way. They have been to open AA meetings with me. I always listen when they talk. I mean I stop what I am doing and really listen and respect what they have to say.

mooselips

My AS's GF, who just had their baby didn't put his name on the birth certificate as the father.

Therefore he has NO rights to the child.

Just a thought.