Suspicious

I am working on my long term plan for if (when) it becomes obvious that AH is still abusing his meds and am financially able to end our relationship. He owned the house when I met him. He is the father of my youngest son. My name is not on the deed or mortgage. Do I have the right to keep the house if I have the means to pay for it? Can I offer him a 'deal' that I will trade child support for the house? I am pretty sure that by the time I have the money to do this on my own he will have gotten worse not to mention that not long before we met he was almost at the point where he was about to lose the house. With his addiction I would give it 2 yrs tops before he walked off from this house. It isnt a big monthly payment... actually I would probably not be able to find an apartment or house for rent big enough for me & the kids for less than what our payment is here.

I dont care if I sound greedy about this (I am ps'd because I am pretty sure that he is still taking pills) but for a while I havent had any interest in doing anything to make this home nicer because I have had the thought why bother if I will just have to leave it later but now that I have thought 'why do I have to leave anyway?' I think 'go ahead and fix whatever... less I will have to worry about later'

I just wonder what the laws are or where I could find out (besides contacting an attorney directly) what the laws in our state allow

jerect

Most attorneys offer a free consultation.. From reading your posts it sounds like you don't want to contact your attorney but I think that it might be the best option for you..

Laws differ from state to state and in order to get all your ducks in a row you need advice from someone who is an expert in this area..

It doesn't hurt to call one, like I said most of them will offer you a free consultation and tell you what is legal and what your rights are..

outtolunch

I am not an attorney. I can however tell you generally speaking, property acquired before the marraige usually remains with the party who acquired it.

Does he have any equity in this property? So many withdrew premature equity from their homes that they find themselves now owing more than their home is worth.

MsPINKAcres

Oh Sweetie - Please know that I am not trying to be the voice of negativity or hate - but the voice of reality.

Please know that you are dealing with ACTIVE addiction and that make that person usually selfish, self-centered and self-seeking. After 16 plus yrs of marriage to a man who I would have never believed to do things to harm me financially - he has come after me in our divorce with a vengence!!

I can understand the hesitance in wanting to contact an attorney but you may need to be protect you and your child/children. Prepare for the worse and pray for the best is usually the best attitude to have. Hopefully you will never need to have that protection - but at least you will be ready if you do.

I am close to losing everything I have worked for all my life - but it is still worth it to NOT be living with active addiction any longer. State laws in a community property state are not very friendly to the non-addict in a marriage - to the one who has worked and kept a job - that is the one that usually comes out in a really bad way. Try to find out ALL that you can to protect yourself - the longer you wait - the more damage that can possibly be done to you and your financial state.

That consultation fee that you pay the atty for information and advice may be well worth it to know where you stand and what you may need to do to protect the future of yourself and your children.

Wishing you God's Best!!

HUGS,
Rita

Suspicious

You are right... I dont like feeling greedy. But everytime I get this sense that I am not being fair by thinking about what is best for me & the kids I cant help but think his greed when it comes to this addiction is what got me to the point I am now.

I know that he is still taking the pills and I know that it isnt in our best interest to stay. As soon as I realized that he was abusing them (about 6 months ago) I started working on a plan where I can get us away from his addiction but I have been a stay at home mom for the last few years and only in the last couple of months have we gotten past living paycheck to paycheck so there isnt any savings for me to use.

It isnt an issue of me staying and hoping it will get better all the while it is getting worse. I will not do that or let my kids witness that but I do have to stay till I am financially able to do it. I do kinda wish that he would just leave with his pills and let me stay in the house but legally that will probably not happen. I am not going to stay here hoping he will leave me to keep the house. When the time comes that I have the means to get us out if he refuses to leave then me the kids will. Me getting to stay in this house is a nice thought but it isnt one of my priorities.

kj3880

My ex came into our marriage with nothing but some books and clothes. No job, no car, no home, nothing (I sure can pick 'em..lol). Only a year later, I divorced him and he tried to obtain an interest in my home and asked for one of my cars and some of my retirement. Lucky we didn't have any children together, or according to my attorney he would have got some of those things. Property laws vary widely according to state. You need a lawyer.

Love,
KJ