Recieved A Letter From My Son
rozied
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Recieved A Letter From My Son
Yesterday I finally got a letter from Joey. He said he had been worried about me because he hadn't heard from me. He then went on to say he was ashamed of all the things he had done, and that was another reason he hadn't written. He said he had 2 addictions gambling & coke. He said he understood me distancing myself from him. He said if it was his children he also would be brokenhearted. He then went on to say his addictions & incarcerations had crippled his relationship with his brother & I.
This was the first time I recieved a decent letter from him. A letter where he admits he has problems.
I am going to write him back to tell him that it is all up to him. He doesn't have to be hopeless because there is help available. I love him so much and once I see he is helping himself I will be there. Right now all I can do is pray that he has finally seen the light.
This was the first time I recieved a decent letter from him. A letter where he admits he has problems.
I am going to write him back to tell him that it is all up to him. He doesn't have to be hopeless because there is help available. I love him so much and once I see he is helping himself I will be there. Right now all I can do is pray that he has finally seen the light.
I'm glad he is not in denial, Diane. It sounds as if you were honest with him and let him know that although you love him, you can not stand by and watch him destroy himself. As a result, he is being more honest with you. I love you enough to let you figure this out for yourself is a good message for our kids to hear. Hugs
Your son knows he has problems and knows it is up to him.
But maybe now he is willing to climb out of his hole and do whatever it takes.
The letter gives hope that perhaps it won't always be this way. The son under the addiction wrote you the letter.The son you raised is still there...may he slowly emerge
But maybe now he is willing to climb out of his hole and do whatever it takes.
The letter gives hope that perhaps it won't always be this way. The son under the addiction wrote you the letter.The son you raised is still there...may he slowly emerge
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in my own world~
Posts: 1,237
Sounds wonderful to me Rozied. All you can do is "be there: and HOPE that he is getting it. I pray that that is whats going on with him. It does take a while but most of these boys do come around at some point. I wonder if its when we stop enabling or if its just their time to grow up and face life.....I'm sooo happy for you and your family. We're doing great here and its so nice to relax and start enjoying life for a change....Big hugs, Bonnnie
Just a thought, but why not start off your letter by telling him you love him and how much it ment to you for being so honest in his letter. That it seems so much more settling and understandable as to what has been going on. Not that it is no big deal but at least he is trying to communicate and still we have to read between the lines.
Know where in the book does it say we can not be understanding, but that is where our recovery comes into place to not be taken, plus it gives us a real good look at where we are in recovery.
Just my belief, but I think our recovery is just as challenging as an addict's recovery...we both have challenging times and when do we both know when we are in a safe ground.
I myself don't think I would respond to his letter in a challenging way....
Rose
Know where in the book does it say we can not be understanding, but that is where our recovery comes into place to not be taken, plus it gives us a real good look at where we are in recovery.
Just my belief, but I think our recovery is just as challenging as an addict's recovery...we both have challenging times and when do we both know when we are in a safe ground.
I myself don't think I would respond to his letter in a challenging way....
Rose
rozied
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Thanks Everyone for all the input. Needinghelp, I don't know if he is in a program BUT I will ask him when I write.
Rose, That is a great way to answer him. I will take your advice. I will send him nothing but love and will not be challenging at all. I plan on visiting him soon.
I hope everyone has a nice holiday be it Easter or Passover.
Rose, That is a great way to answer him. I will take your advice. I will send him nothing but love and will not be challenging at all. I plan on visiting him soon.
I hope everyone has a nice holiday be it Easter or Passover.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
he was worried about YOU because he hadn't heard from YOU? Imagine that! I would have been so tempted to get all sarcastic back at him. Were you? but really, that sounds like a good letter. it's always a miracle when anyone (addict or not) admits their own stuff and takes responsibility for it, IMO.
rozied
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Dear Sleepygoat, No I wasn't sarcastic back. I was so happy to hear from him & to hear him being honest, that I wrote him back sending nothing but love. He has a very long way to go though. He has almost 9 more months to spend in jail. I hope he uses that time to do some serious thinking about what he's going to do when he gets out. But again it is all up to him.
Diane
Diane
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)