ihatethis

I just wanted to thank all of you that have shown me kindness and shared their wisdom while I was here. I have gotten to the point where I have so much anger (coupled with disinterest and disregard) toward those that have caused me to turn to you, that I never want to be reminded of it again. I don't have the desire to waste any energy on the people that brough me here (originally my ex-abf and eventually my brother in law) that I feel that posting here connects me with them. I cannot do that anymore, but I wanted to still tell the wonderful women that have been here when I needed it, that I appreciate their efforts and their kindness. Because of you I now know that although the people that they could have been was a wonderful thing, the people that they are now is not worth my energy. I do wish them well and hope they recover, but their recovery will be without me. And I'm okay with that. I once believed that if I walked away the next woman would have a wonderful man. But the next woman will cry, and start to blame herself and will either be brought down, or reach the place I am at. I hope they recovery, but even if they're not doing drugs (for now) their selfishness remains.

That being said... this is an invaluable source of stregth and compassion. Thank you all. Bye

greeteachday

Sometimes a necessary part of releasing addiciton and its effects from our lives is stepping away. And sometimes that means stepping away even from the areas that have helped us. I understand where you are coming from - sometimes I just need to do others things for a period of time that have absolutely nothing to do with codependency or addiction and it feels so good not to even think about it.

I hope that you continue to find peace and new happiness. If you need us, we're here. Hugs

liesagain

I understand your reasons for leaving here .........but wanted to share something that one of my husband's therapists said to me...........and that I finally realised was true............

even before the addict was in my life I had things in me and about me that made me willing to accept that type of thing in my life. Those are my issues aside from addiction.
and unless I am willing to look at myself very closely and make an necessary chage even if I left my addict I'd still either remain unhappy anxious and worried or I would somehow search out yet another unhealthy relationship...........

my hope for you is that even if you need to remove yourself from the reminders of addiction that you continue to look at and work on yourself................addiction alone without our own stuff causes alot of damage
you owe it to yourslef to look out for YOU so my hope is that you will continue to do that look out for and take care of yourself
best wishes

winnie12

Whether here or somewhere else please do find a way to work through this anger and pain. I dealt with many addicts over my life and the only thing i see tha t they all had in common was ME. for me to stay away from the addictive personality means that i have to address the issues in me that draws me to them.