357girl

Hi everyone,

Has anyone attended a CODA meeting? I found one online about 8 miles from my home. I emailed the contact person and am waiting to here back from her. I can't even remember how I heard about these meetings.

I am currently reading The Language of Letting Go and am also going through counseling (my 3rd appointment is tonight) to discuss how to live with an 18 year old who is an addict. It's VERY hard for me to find the right balance between codependency and being a parent to a young addict. =(

So far, the only thing I feel like I'm doing right is letting my daughter work her program and not getting in the middle of it. One of the boundaries we set for her before she left rehab was that we wouldn't hound her with questions about her program but asked that she bring it up herself. So far, she has. I can't help but feel extremely grateful that she is choosing to be sober right now. At times, I start to wonder if she's being honest but then I remember that I'm not supposed to worry myself. My counselor told me during our last appointment that sometimes it is not "day by day" it is "minute by minute." I find that to be true a lot of the time. =(

If anyone has any experiences to share on how they started overcoming their codepedency, I would appreciate it. Specifically, how long does it take???? =) Okay, there is probably no answer for that. I wish there was but I can't help but feel like after 2 weeks of trying to work on my own program, I still find it incredibly HARD to let go of the anxiety and worry. I am not displaying it "externally" as much but internally, I am a mess. Instead of letting it out on my daughter, my husband is getting it. I know he is reaching his breaking point with me so I called him a few minutes ago and apologized for my behavior over the weekend.

Is codependency considered an addiction?

Thanks for listening.

~C

Ann

When I lived in Toronto, CoDA was my home fellowship and was a wonderful meeting that I credit for saving my life.

If you have one near you, by all means do yourself a favour and give it a try. CoDA, Naranon and Alanon are three similar programs and any one of them can help us. I have attended all three and found good meetings in each fellowship.

How long does it take to overcome codependency? That varies from person to person and for most of us, it's not that we get "cured", it's that we find a better way of living that helps us not slip back into our codependent behaviour.

I know that for me, recovery had brought me many many gifts, and gave me my life back....actually gave me a better life than I have ever known.

I "live" my program every day and continue to learn and grow. It's a good thing for me, and not something I feel I need to "complete" but instead just a happier way of living my life.

Hugs